Can I ask men a question?

Lol again noted.

 

Lol.

 

:smt043:smt043:smt043:smt043:smt043
help you out...andrae, it is what it is...it is truly just who you are and how you say things...blunt...just thought it was funny!

 

I felt this way when I was younger. I didn't want to 'jump' in bed with a man that I really cared about because I knew that once I slept with him that I would be head over heels in love, and I needed to know that he cared about me and that it wasn't a one night thing. With a guy that you care about, it's not just about sex. It's about an emotional connection, and you need to know that you are both on the same page. Does that make sense?

When I was 23, I went on a double date with a gentleman. We were having a good time and decided to go back to my place to watch a movie. After the movie was over with, he and I started to talk. He told me that he had just gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn't looking to get right back into another one. I could relate, because I had also just ended a long-term relationship. Then, he told me that he was just really looking for someone to have a good time with every now and then and that if I wasn't interested, he understood. His honesty was so refreshing. I hadn't dated too many guys that were like that, and I was interested. He and I got together about once a week for 6 months. It worked for both of us while it lasted. No regrets. No heartache. Great sex. It was exactly what I was looking for at the time.

 

Again I've gotta figure out how to make that happen when I want that.

 

Other than the fact that I'm not 10 years older than Andrae, his comment didn't even register with me. :smt043

 

Well, I'll keep that in mind. This will be etched in stone "As Quoted by Bookie".

 

Sorry Bookie, I thought you were 10 years older than him. But I didn't expect the comment would bother you anyway.

 

No worries! I'm close enough to 10 years older, but just not quite. LOL.

 

I guess it's actually 9, and believe me I know 9 is not 10. :smt042

 

Dear Lucia,
I understand what you say and I think we have the same problems. I've been told by my friends a billion time that I'm too nice, that I must learn to be more bithcy with men, that I must not show them I care because they are going to use me. I recognize that some of that might be true, but, as you said.... I want to be myself! It's frustrating, isn't it?
Oh, and I love to cook for my man too

 

Ladies, it all goes back to...you get what you give. If you want respect from a man, give it back to him, if you want to be yourself, then let him be himself. Relationships are a two way street, there's always going to be some kind of difference, you are two different people, but I don't think being bitchy to a man is the answer...and TS, cook away....they love to eat good home cooked meals!

 

Couldn't say it better myself!

 

I disagree. not always you get what you give. sometimes you give and don't get. sometimes you just give too much! i think that's why some relationships (even with friends) don't last.

 

Very well said TC.

I know that sometimes people can take advantage of you TS, but I think what TCFG is saying is you shouldn't expect someone to respect you if you don't respect them, you shouldn't expect someone to be nice to you if you aren't nice to them. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Obviously not everyone who gives respect gets it in return, but at the point someone gives you a reason not to respect them, that's it for me, I'm done with that. But I always start out with respect. It's a sad fact of life that you often do not get treated as well as you treat others, but that's on them for being like that. Anyone who chooses to mistreat someone who treats them well is an idiot, and not worth your time.

 

Here's something to consider thick. What about you attracts those shitty kind of guys. Its not by accident if it consistantly happens.
Another thing to consider when someone gives too much in the beginning its overwhelming whether you're a guy or girl. It makes you feel like things are moving a lot more quickly than you like

 

Well, I hope that was in general, because I myself don't need anybody to tell me that people won't respect me if I don't respect them and all that :-S. I thought that was pretty obvious. Isn't it?

Truth. I'm the first person to say that. I was just showing my understanding to Lucia. :smt102

 

Of course it was a general statement, and not directed at you specifically TS. I'm not in the habit of telling people what to do. :wink:

 

That's when you cut your loses, something some people wait too long to do...

 

I know, I quoted the wrong post. It was directed to TDF, but I'm not mad. It just sounded like I was being judged and I got a little upset. :smt076


It's all good