Can I ask men a question?

Has that ever worked in your life?

 

You aren't giving women enough credit. Talking to her beforehand about your intentions is the best route.

She'll either tell you that that's all she was looking for, too, or she'll tell you no thanks.

You have nothing to lose.

 

You make it sound so easy.

 

You'd be surprised with the reception if you're just upfront and honest about your intentions.

Women prefer that.

Women don't want men to lie to them about their intentions. Because when the man leaves after the woman "catches feelings", when it was never his intention to do so, really makes the woman feel great inside. :smt011

 

yes, when it was all i was looking for and the person that approached me with it just happened to be attractive, sexy as hell and gorgeous in his birthday suit not to mention a wonderful lover...i could go on but you get the gist of it...the thing about it andrae is that he wasn't some big player either...great guy...well educated...fantastic job...divorced with one child...he had a very busy life and so did i...i would consider him a friend and if he ever wanted more i would be open to exploring that...it's actually very common andrae...it's called friends with benefits:smt043man he had benefits...

 

So, if I were to tell you that I don't want a relationship,I just want to shag you up front...as a one time thing (risking a face slap or drink thrown in my face), then you would be cool with that.

 

If that was all I was looking for, yes, I'd be cool with that.

More women are open to this than you guys may think.

 

Well, that gives me confidence, doesn't it? LOL.

 

You know what I have to think it depends where you are in life because I can't see this flying with younger women. They are still in the dreams coming true fantasy part of their life where everything has to be meaningful. Lippy and Book are older women who have already satisfied their urge to be mothers so maybe that's why they could look at it like that. In my all I keep thinking is at my age its extrememly rare to find a woman within my age group who could handle being approached that way because to them if a guy just wants sex from you he thinks you're a ho.
All I keep hearing in my head is " you think that's all I'm good for?"
They want to feel special.

 

I think a woman of any age would rather have the truth upfront than to be lied to. The last thing anyone wants is to feel used just for sex. I think more women are agreeable to the FWB than you might realize.

Always be upfront. If she doesn't go for it, then you'd have just had problems with her later on anyway, right?

 

Interesting. I don't agree but I think what you said is interesting.

 

I think in theory you are correct Bookie, but in truth I see an awful lot of people who just really want to be told what they want to hear, and want to believe what they want to believe. They like the idea of honesty, but only if the truth happens to fit their idea of what they want it to be. I still think you should be upfront with everyone, regardless of whether they're the type who likes the brutal truth or the pretty lie. It weeds out the deluded people who are just going to be a waste of your time anyway.

I do think there are more women open to the FWB situation than most men would think. The only way to know is to bring it up, and I agree that should be an upfront conversation that takes place fairly immediately. They will either be open to that, or not, but either way you'll know which will save you time and drama later on.

 

Your first paragraph was brilliant babe.
I just can't agree with the idea girl could be open to that but maybe that's because I don't know how to approach the situation correctly. In the past I've always lived by the idea that if I promise you nothing everything is a fabrication of your own mind so I'm not accountable. Unfortunately others rarely agree lol.

 

You'd probably be surprised just how many women that idea might appeal to, and yes you will never know if you don't bring it up. From a personal perspective I'd have to know and really like the man for that to work. Aside from that though I really think at this point a long distance relationship where you get together for a weekend once a month, or every other month or so, would be ideal. The rest of the time he lives his life, and I live mine, happily separate.

 

lippy just can't get over how charming you are andrae:mrgreen:

 

Lmao. Ok more mature? More experienced? Help me out Lip

 

I hope you know a mental note was made lol

 

Now see I actually do appreciate how charming you are babe.

 

naaa, the damage has been done. lol You should have said they already have children instead of adding the older part. Honestly, a lot of men do want to have children. Women's want of children tend to decrease as they get older(especially with kids) starting at the age of 39 I think.

 

Nah, older is accurate. I refer to anyone who is more than 10 years older than me as 'older'. You've referred to me as older in the past and it doesn't really bother me. Now saying I'm old, on the other hand is not something I particularly enjoy LOL.