Can A Woman's Love Be Bought?

Wow. Just wow. Complete and utter disrespect for people with little or no money. Their love is not valid, they just don't have a choice to date anyone better. SMH.

 

It wasn't meant to show disrespect for people with no money, Sin. I'm hardly rich myself. I stated it too harshly, but it was meant to convey (I think accurately) that people are largely involved in relationships with people of their own social class with little or no social mobility (at least that's generally the case in the US), and so people try to maximize their utility and outcomes (regardless of class) in whatever arena they find themselves in. I was trying to illustrate that I believe most men and women look at relationships as a sort of transaction in which they're trying to get the best deal, i.e. utility maximizers. I just haven't experienced or seen totally selfless love where the person was just loving for the sake of loving. It was usually wanting someone they found attractive (a form of utility-maximizing) that they got along with so they could be happy (another form of utility-maximizing).

 

I don't you can talk in Econ jargon and come across the way you want to. From a layman's point of you it probably sounds cold like we choose the best we can get not two people finding a connection. The data on dating supports what your saying but females generally want to believe it's kissmit.

 

You act like you are going to love your kids more than you love your wife. It all seems ego-driven. She is just the vehicle for you to have more mini-me's of whatever mediocre genetic material you have brought to the table. Let me tell you this - you need to be IN LOVE - and truly love and respect a woman - and help her out. Otherwise she will learn to despise you over time - I could never abide a man who loved the children that I made for him out of my own body, more than he loved ME (only because they were evidence of his genetic material)! If I had a relationship like that, I would want to kill myself.

 

God DAMN - I can't believe you have not learned the difference between you're and your after all of this time online. And if you don't know the spelling of an exotic word like "kismet", fucking GOOGLE it.

 

I can't believe you're still on my nuts like I'm a teen heart throb. Fucking crawl back into your little brothel and serve customer 198 tonight. I'm sure they miss your company Ms. Lonely.

 

The cool thing is I don't need to justify my motivations to you but continue get all knotted up over my personal choices its fricking hilarious.
You and I have never and will never get along. So why do you keep commenting on what I write. Does the concept of live and let live escape you?

 

Hahaha - a couple of months ago you were dogging me because I couldn't get any (supposedly)...Now you're dogging me because I get it quite frequently from multiple sources of my own choosing?

I smell a hater. Beat you at your own game, player (if you ever had one...note my extended absence - what did you think I was doing that whole time - knitting? I leave that job to my mom. Meanwhile you've been posting like a motherfucker...

 

May peace and happiness find you. We no longer need to speak. Its only hateful and negative words.

 

I didn't consider it that way at all. My husband contributed when he could But he was often deployed or was in school and his free time was spent studying. He didn't have a 9-5. And when he was home, he wasn't sitting around waiting to be waited on.

I WANTED to be a homemaker, not because I'm lazy and don't want to work, but I love the domestic arts and that's where my heart lies: making a home and raising a family. Some women choose a career outside the home and juggle both homemaking/family and a job. Some do it well, others...not so much. I feel fortunate that I had the privilege to stay home with my son for 8 years. It was a decision more or less forced by my ex's career, but we both decided that it was the preferred way to divide the responsibilities.

 

Lmao mine too. My poor mom sucks at that shit lol

 

The reason I use economic jargon is two-fold: that's the way I understand these things, not in moralistic terms, and 2) that's how I was trained. And I should also add a third: people on the thread seem to deliberately misread statements that they don't agree with and attribute broad moral judgments to you when you take a position. So, I try to stay clinical and distant and try to discuss these things in as professional and polite a tone as possible to steer attention toward the comments and away from hyperbole and the personality of the speaker. Otherwise, things quickly degenerate. I'm not always successful, but I try. Hey, no one's perfect.

 

I should take a page from your book since my attempts to not be misunderstood because of discourse often fail.

 

Thus far, I've always had more money than any guy I've dated .

Yeah, those relationships seem pretty rare.
You have an interesting way of looking at this! *thinks about how a need for love could be selfish* lol

Yeah, I know women that are like this. Hell, my parents tell my sister to go out and hang around the university at home.... meet a smart guy. She isn't gonna make much money herself, so the parents are kinda giving her another option. (They were actually joking though :lol: ).
Women do make less than men, so if it came down to one person needing to work and another staying home... it makes sense for the man to go, in the end it means more income for the household. But if both were able to work, all for that too. All depends on where a couple lives/was raised and what they view necessary for "making it work".



BUT, regarding love... to me, I really am a hopeless romantic. I don't care if a person has a lot of money or very little money. As long as "things" work between us, that's all that matters to me. I want to settle down and have children, and it doesn't matter how much money that person has. It's more important that they'd take time for the family and actually be there, rather than at work all the time or whatever.

 

I was thinking the same thing when I saw that. It would be awesome if shit were different but in order to raise a family in a decent area with a decent life it requires more than a managerial job at McDonalds. Well at least in the US.

 

You said the responsibility usually falls on the woman as if to imply that even if both people work the household chores aren't divided equally. Your situation is totally different from what we were talking about then.

 

I don't mean to attach a value judgment to 'selfish', just in the sense of being focused on one's self. You know?

 

I think where you're at in your life kind of skews your perception because to get ahead or for most people to make ends meet you have to work A LOT. You don't get a nice house and have nice things just working 40 hrs a week unless you're lucky enough to be born into money.

 

Yeah, I know there's more to it than that .
There's the.... making them.

Really though, I changed what I typed a few times before I posted it, guess I left out another little bit.
Part of what I consider to be under the "things working" category is actually having enough money to make ends meet, provide for needs. There needs to be enough money to pay for rent/a mortgage, food, transportation, and whatnot.

I categorize this differently than all the "wants", and being able to throw money around, that's not for me lol. Want someone that knows what they're doing with money but don't feel the need they have to pull out stacks upon stacks to impress me.

 

Also one might add if love were truly selfless you people wouldn't have such tendencies towards ownership of another's actions and jealousy wouldn't be so prevelent.