BM who isn't the stereotype. Decent story :0

Thank you. This is what we do look for in a man. Why people perceive we are looking for a thug, I do not know why. That isn't what we want. Its a man who know what he wants in life, isn't afraid to go after it.

 

Thanks, Sassy. That's what I'm saying. It's easier to love than hate.

Okay, personal update...in regards to the two girls. I decided to persue NEITHER of them right now. Reasons...

In regards to the woman my age, and I am close to her, she has decided to go back to the Midwest. I am not going anywhere, and don't want to do a "chew and screw" on her. She doesn't deserve that. We are closer as friends than lovers, and I don't want to ruin that for a month of fun. Plus she has had health issues. I decided to let it be.

Now, the younger one, I am gonna wait and let it play out. She is all up on going out and shit and I want a woman right now to be calmer, I do the bar thing sporadically now. There are maturity issues that need to be ironed out. The maturity is there, but rather than force her to adhere, I am going to let her learn it for herself with subtle reminders. Nothing fazes the girl, but I really think it's a front from getting played, and I'm trying to let her know that there will be a point where you are so comfortable with yourself, none of that shit matters. She hasn't reached it yet. So I am going to stand back and watch. We're still good friends and I see her everyday at work. We'll see. I like her a bunch though.

That's the update..hopefully my next one will be more uplifting! But I'm just doing my thing day by day.

BT

 

I'm glad to read this, because I react the same way to BET -- what the fuck does anyone get from that shit? My ex (Canadian, born to Jamaican parents) loved watching that trash, and I never hid my dislike for it -- she always made a case for my being insecure over it, etc. Like you, I've seen a lot of crazy things, so I don't see a need to celebrate these silly videos.

While it's sad that your friends are in jail, it's their own problem. They had a choice. There are always choices. They simply chose the wrong ones. Now, they have to pay for it.

 

I just turned 27, and I've been feeling this way since a teenager. So, you're not alone. I've been wondering especially when folks in my age group will grow up and mature. When will they realize that there's more to life than clubbing? Getting pissy drunk? Trying to meet everything that says hello?

I've never had a preference when it came to women, but I can tell you that to date, I've yet to have a positive experience with a "colored" woman. They either covered their issues in the beginning, or lied their way through wanting a relationship, when they weren't ready for one. Who suffered? I did. The last go around was my last ... because I allowed it to destroy me in everywhere. It was a serious wake up call for me.

These days, I've largely given up on most "colored" women in general for a serious relationship. There seems to be too many underlying issues, and far too much drama that I'm tired of dealing with. I can only consider them now for friendship and casual situations, unfortunately.

On the other hand, my "vanilla" female friends have been a HOOT! They appreciate me. They LOVE and ADORE me. They support me! And I ENJOY hanging out with them. I have two friends that I met last year, and they are by far my best female friends, ever. I can relate to them. They understand me. I don't have to "pretend" or try to be "hip" to "fit in". I can simply be myself, and you haven't a clue of how great that feels. I've been missing them like crazy since I left Denver a few months ago ... looking forward to returning and spending time with them. Love 'em to death!

But, anyway, I think I've been doing myself a disservice all these years. I've simply been accepting the wrong people that have entered my life, which were mostly "colored" women. I'm realizing that I really don't have much in common with them. We think differently. We have different views about life and people. I have different expectations than they do. I have a broader view of the world and the universe. I'm just a weird guy, in my own unique way, and very few women from urban areas can understand me.

I just wish to meet a very open-minded "vanilla" woman. Start things very slow, hangout as friends, and allow things to take their own course. I believe with the right girl, that I'd be a very happy man, because I'd finally get the respect, love, consideration, and commitment I've been longing for in a woman. There's only a small percentage of urban women where that would be true, and I wouldn't have a clue of where they are.

 

Here's the thing, once your acquiantances go to jail, it's always guilt by association. Eg. I know Bobby Brown, Bobby Brown went to jail, you probably will go to jail too. That's why I tend to gravitate to the norm. Like I said, I was on the fence and could have gone either way. But deep down I knew where I HAD to go.

27 is still young, Ronald, you can still go out and have "fun", but it's up to you. I think at 32, I really had to make a decision on that. The light goes on quicker than others.

It's funny, because my friends are older black males, white girls and I do have gay friends (yes, I am comfortable in my sexuality, doesn't mean I'm going to a gay bar though), the lack of black women friends in the last six/seven years tells me something.

You're right, the white women tend to understand you, the black ones wonder what's wrong with you. The one white woman my age I work with TOTALLY gets me. The younger one, who has been around all ethnicities, gets me as well. The black women whom I worked with in the past always asked, why do you act that way? Sigh.

When I was with my Northern Ireland honey back in day and showed pictures with us and her friends, the sistas would comment, "And you're just looking to get shot." What???

Just be you, homes. It'll all come together.

Peace out.

BT

 

I agree wholeheartedly.

 

Ok ...I started reading the forum here just for an opinion other than my own on situations, & this is the first time ive posted here so bear with me.

I grew up "typical" black or i should say "steriotypical" black, my father was never there, my mother raised 3 kids (myself included) alone the only male figures i had (uncle, his friends etc) were not role models at all because they always had either a bottle or some sort of "smokable" in their hand, most people say that a young boy needs a strong male figure in their life, well it didnt make a differance for me. I deemed myself an adult at the age of 13, because i have the same sense now as i did back then, & i grew up fast, too fast, i became my own person & fit the typical description of "punk" through high school & eventually "goth" I was always the one that peole came to for advice.....even though i was on an average of 3 years youger than them. ive never been "picked" on.....mainly because of the way i carry myself. that & my family is "known" for being crazy. but that wasnt it.

I was accepted by all the crouds......i fit in with the jocks, cool kids,geeks,....just all round blended in, ..im like a Camelion (sp) i blend when needed....i speak differantly depending on who im talking to. ....i think im just rambling now....but anyway. Ive seen racism. been called a nigger to my face, been discriminated against, ...though ive never been called a "sellout" ....im still young...its comming....im 23 years old....& ive seen, done, & Ive been through too much for someone of my age. i wont go into detail, but all the views & opinions people express here are ALL correct...just not for every single situation. ive seen too many steriotypes, but i know that not EVERYONE is that way.

I live in Oregon, moved here from Illinois, & it seems like everyone here is about 4 or 5 years too late. i hear terms & expressions from the few black people here that i havent heard in YEARS,...sometimes i just shake my head, .....not to say that im better than anyone but that BET crap (as someone was talking about) is long dead in my mind. & thats what i see, the annoying young black man cursing & being loud in public, making a disgrace of the black race, slowing progress. im not saying that we all have to go around talking "white" or "proper" english. im just asking for composure.....& wow....once again....im just ranting......i tend to do that a lot....just like an old man lol, but theres some sense in what i say, you just have to see it. ...& if anyone is curious...

im on My Space as Archangel Chaos Prime & MSN IM is lil_weezy69@hotmail.com (ive had it for almost half my lifes o dont laugh lol) My g/f is mixed father white/mother mexican & some indian ....and as far as I go....im "black" but I call myself an Alien..... & probably will until the black man becomes the noble king that he is meant to be. & from what I can tell, the BM here are a fine start.

~1-Luv~

 

That's a fantastic story.

I haven't posted here in two months, basically because of self-reflection.

First off, the Alien thing doesn't sit with well with mel..as I've said in other posts, if you're black..you're black, and you can't ever deny that. You can't deny your heritage or where you come from. I will always be linked to my neighborhood, because that's where I grew up. Whatever bad happened there, you know there was a lot of good there.

Oregon is a tough place for a brother, for sure, but you make do with what you have..and you try to thrive on it. Women respect you with your heart and not your skin, at least white women anyway. But never deny your heritage. White people don't have to, you why do you?

My self-reflection was because I didn't have to hear negativity in my life, when I know how I want to do it. This is a lesson I forgot and somehow ignored. I'm at an age now or was a couple of years ago where you realize what's important in your life and you make certain decisions. And the light comes on, and you get it. There was a day last week where I was totally content with everything around me and the decisions I made. White women, taking care of my mom, my job, where I work, my friends. Content.

Follow your heart, dawg, and let the rest follow.

BT

 

Dont get my words wrong, the whole "Alien" thing isnt directed towrds my race itself, (though yes it did seem that way) its more directed to peoples expectations of me. Example: people asking me questions like "Can you dance/sing/play basketball/rap?" etc just because im "black" & i put the quotations on black because im NOT black, my skin tone in brown, & as far as "white" people go, most look kinda peachy to me lol. i understand that ist said that way as to not complicate things, but thats just my preferance, simple enough.

Dont worry, i know where & what i came from, My roots have been traced all the way back to the mendinka tribes, & as far as the place i grew up goes, i cant never forget or change it, nor would i ever want to, no matter what pain & suffering i had to endure, the pain i faced back then MADE me the man i im today, & i wouldnt have it anyother way. pain & suffering is defining,....builds character...& MAN do i ramble..... anyway!

I guess that was a small inside look into my reasoning.

~tosses in a silver dollar~ keep the change, i always tend to give more than my 2 cents lol

 

Great post. You're a rare breed, a young guy who actually gets it. I can't seem to find one of those. :lol: I had to grow up too fast myself, but for different reasons. Keep posting.

 

Im a very old soul, though my body is young,...and from the few posts that i HAVE put up you can tell that i ramble like an old guy lol, but just as ive learned through life, lessons & knowledge can be found everywhere, just as long as you listen to the message, & not just the person giving it.

btw, are you the one who added me to MSN? Lynette?

 

Yes, but we've already established that. :lol: But, for future reference, please don't use my name on here.

 

what are you talking about? i dont know you! :wink:

 

Hey Black Tiger :wink:

Go for the younger one, we're workable!! And as far as the nothing fazes her, well, nothing fazed me either, I was OUT there doin' MY thing.

But I matured and gave up a lot when I settled down......even being bisexual has taken a seat. I won't cheat on my husband, and I am to jealous to share...it's the scorp in me......

 

I'm stopping by! How are you all!

Here's the synopsis of the two white girls from work thing...

The girl from the midwest went home and I never heard from her again, not even my e-mail, so that's that. I did take her out for lunch on a weekend before she left, and yeah, I did kiss her. A couple of times. But I guess she's not down with the brothers. That's it.

The younger one, well..
I invited her out in July for drinks and dinner, told her to invite her twin sister and her boyfriend, we'd make a night of it and I'd pay. And she STOOD ME UP! And I WORK with her!! I did have a call to the house saying things changed at 4pm, but I was already out at 3 pm and I don't carry a cell phone. We were going to meet at 5:30. I was waiting for an explanation, and all I got the following Tuesday was an e-mail, asking where *I* was? She knew exactly where I was supposed to be. She never mentioned anything about it afterwards, not even in passing, no phone call, no nothing. So I have put her in shutdown. Other than work related situations, no conservations, no nothing. I'm done with that. I got STOOD UP!

I learned a valuable lesson last July, and not to open my heart anymore to white women. I shouldn't say that, but that's how I felt.

And that's how I'm living now. Older and more jaded than ever. I still don't like to date black women but it seems from my travels that white women don't want to get to know ME. I took a trip to Rockland, Maine last June for work and it seemed that the white women didn't want anything to do with me. But then again, it's Maine. I saw two black people there in that town.

It's hard now. I will be 40 in six weeks. But I don't want to sound like a punk bitch . I'll get out there. I'll find the white girl that I want. And it will be all good.

Peace out.

Black Tiger

 

That's right BlackTiger, I like seeing folks get this simple equation of life: positive talk + positive actions = positive outcome.