BM playing games?

Is it just me, or do bm like to play games with your head. this probably sounds stereotypical, and i'm sorry, but in my experiences with a black man, he's seems to REALLY want me one minute and the next minute doesnt even care about me.

Do you think it's true that most black men are players?

BM, i'm not saying all of you are like that, so please explain a lil.

btw...i love bm! lol

WW, do you have experiences where a BM has used you for momentary pleasure? or has given you so many mixed signals that you just want to give up?

maybe i'm attracted to bm because of the mystery? idk. i'm a confused WW!

 

I don't think this is a race issue at all.

You don't say how old you are.

I just think that it's part of the dating thing....unfortunately.

I think there are men who play games as there are women who play games. Sometimes those who are playing don't even realize they are and sometimes it's more of a matter of them running from their own fears.

I think you just have to figure out what your boundaries are and go with that (I say that and believe me - I've had my own issues on this!)

 

i'm sorry christinasapp, but this does sound a little stereotypical. speaking from a males perspective, i can tell you that men sometimes just don't do women right. KnCA is right. skin color has little to nothing to do with it. and your reasoning for being attracted to black men is not something that i'm gonna get into, but if you're confused about it, this could be a good place to gain a little insight. just my two cents. :wink:

 

ok. first let me just say that i'm 19. lol. so i dont have that much experience with BM. maybe it's just the one that i've come accross.

ur right, it is not a racial issue. WM do the same thing.

thanks for the replies

 

Ah yes - can't base all bm on one guy.

Hopefully next time you will find someone better

 

Yeah, christina...don't get too discouraged. Unfortuantely playas are out there. If your current man isn't more consistent with respecting you then, you may have to move on. THere are good black men out there who know how to treat a good white women. Best luck to you. People here are experienced and give good advice so post questions anytime you have them.

 

hi c, im new to this site 2 but i can relate to what your saying.

theres numerous players out there (men + woman!) and the best advice regardless of ur age is just to trust your instincts!

simple as that, as soon as u feel like givin up...do just that. no need to fret over sum guy makin u think/feel -ve things. move on til u find sum1 that makes u feel and think +vely.

players come in all types of disguises, they are pro's and they know exactly how to manipulate any given situ 2 their advantage. just back away politely wen u know it dosent "feel" rite, b4 u get sucked in.

if you have doubt, get out.

sbc x

 

well,

i too can relate to what you are saying, but maybe that is because of the type of man i tend to go for, i always seem to end up with some bad man g and they do play. however, i also know of several ladies who attract a professional kinda guy and they seem to be secure in their relationships, i believe it is a culture / environment thing going on.

 

Ok my friends, I'm about to say some things that may upset people, but like Bill Cosby, I'm only telling the trille.

KnCA is absolutely correct, it's not abut race. HOWEVER, it is a lot about CULTURE -- Urban/Hip-hop whatever-you-wanna-call-it culture. There's a lot of things that are incredible about my culture, but there are some seriously dysfunctional aspects of my culture as well. What baffles me is that these short-comings are rarely, if ever highlighted.

I'll start with Hip-Hop. No, I'm not another "hip-hop basher", but I'm a realist. I'm a child of Hip-Hop and R&B, make no mistake about that. That's why I can be trille about this. Contemporary mainstream hip-hop (most of the urban/pop nonsense on the radio) is extremely materialistic, superficial, and EMPTY of value. I'm not just talking about the "Crunk" music that gets criticized a lot, I'm speaking of your mainstream acts (i.e. 50 Cent, etc).

Follow me if you can. The themes promoted in mainstream music is in direct contradiction to the values of the Nuclear family, particularly in respect to "Throwback" Black families which traditionally have been very strong in core family values. That tradition has been fading for the past 20 or more years. Whips (cars), shoes (rims), h*es (uh, hoes), ice (diamonds), 187 (murder), thug-life...etc, etc.....these are the themes glamorized in music. I don't want to hear another unintelligent idiot say, "they're just telling what's really happening in the streets". Black People - do we really need anybody else to tell us what's going on in the streets? We know what fuck is going on! I don't need another ignant-azz illiterate wannabe-thug reciting some shit he read about or seen on TV.

Now coming up, I too ate this stuff up like Corn Pops. However, when reality set in (maturity), you begin to realize how destructive these non-values are. If you feed 2, 3, 4 generations this same bullshit, it becomes the NEW TRADITION as the old ways fade away.

Everybody wants to be a playa, a pimp, a baller...I'm talking about females too. I'm just as guilty, I'll readily admit it. It's so ingrained into the culture that it's considered normal! I'm not making this up. Most dudes (I'm giving away game here) just expect that they'll have Wifey, and a couple of breezies on the side. Yes, this is considered normal, even expected. This is because our traditional values have been eroded in the name of Reality/Gansta music. In other words, we're primarily responsible for the the destruction of our own family structures.

What other culture glorifies the evils w/in their own culture? Yet, everyone else benefits from our glorifications. No, hip-hop is not responsible for all the evils of the world. However, my culture is the most influential force for young people on the planet. It's been promoted, created, and distributed in an irresponsible and destructive manner. There's so much quality hip-hop AND R&B that never gets ANY burn on radio or TV. All you see is the bullshit on TV.

I've ranted to long. MY POINT is to say that when dealing with a black man, it's a good chance he's a product of said culture - Correct? Correct. With that said, you need to pay attention to how this brotha walk, talks, and operates. Find out what he values and where he's headed in life. Has he digested the demoralization of our society and being dictated by it, or does he stand out from the crowd??

The "bad-boy" of yesterday that you would hear WW say that were attracted to has changed over to today's "Thug". I understand a lot a women want a man with "a little thug in him", but you better know what the values are of that brutha before you fall for him. This goes for any man.

Now what I've said my cut some of my bruthas deep, but we know what I've said has merit. Bruthas like BRYANT and NATE are becoming exceptions to the rule. I know you're young, but decide on what's important to YOU and look for compatible qualities in a brutha.

It's the little things that tell you A LOT about an individual, so pay attention to the details.

 

:shock: :!: Damn that was long! Sorry folks.

 

like always, you're on the stick.

 

'Preciate the support Smooth. I'm expecting some opposition. 8)

 

Intrigue, my main man. I agree. Well said. By the way, thanks for the compliment. I really appreciate that bro. :wink: