http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101106/ap_on_re_us/us_unwed_births72_percent Glad to see a lot of them are breaking away from the stereotypes smdh
dunno millions of people live together without being 'married' doesn't mean a kid grows up without one-half of the parental equation. marriage is highly overrated, reinforced by the high divorce rates which break up that perfect union bullshit.
i'm just sayin it looks like we keep getting sacked over some bullshit, like BM are that bad with kids look up divorce rates and think about how the kids get screwed by them, regardless of race same shit, different brand
But the problem with single mothers they're left alone to take care of these kids. At least kids who are a product of divorce parents usually have both parents financially.
that's what child support is i'm just sayin tho...tons of people, including myself, think marriage is bullshit. BUT, if I had children, I would take care of them regardless of martial status. Yet, myself and my kids would fall victim to shit statistics, that don't take into account what's really going on.
Over forty years of the systematic destruction of black families through the drug trade, discriminatory practices in education and employment, and welfare policies has brought all the chickens home to roost. If black women are notoriously difficult to deal with and black men equally unreliable, ask yourself why?
The fact of the matter is, most black children are raised by a single parent. It is a very sad but true statistic. Luckily, I had my mother and grandmother raise me. My mother gave me the undivided love and affection as she should, and my grandmother taught me how to be a strong man.
Actually, though millions of people live together without being married, 90% of them don't STAY together without being married. A better restatement would be.... Currently, depending on where you go and who you ask, the divorce rate in the United States is between 35 and 45% and if continued it will reach 50% before the end of the 2020. That is to say out of all the marriages in the United states, upwards of 40% will end in divorce. The rate of couples stating together WITHOUT being married is 90%.... ....NOT getting married is all but a death sentence on a union, but everyone sets out thinking "It wont' be us"....the reality is if you do not get married, than hope in having a long union is all but removed. So, by the raw data and offering no other explanation, YES....a union created outside of marriage and one in which a child is brought into the picture WILL END.........and the child will grow up with just one parent. But lets look at it even deeper. Couples who were married tend to have greater input from both parents than couples who were not married. Of the couples who were married, the custodial parents receive more monetary child support than couples who were not married. Children of DIVORCED parents do better in school than children of parents who were never married Children of DIVORCED parents have fewer behavioral and development problems than children of parents who were never married. Children of DIVORCED parents...well you get the idea. Society has shift and now is COOL NOT to get married......well.....cuz...."bring a child up in dysfunctional home is not healthy" well...that's the common sense version, the real version bases off reality shows this is simply not the case. .................oh and please no one hit me with the "I know a person who [.....insert random reply.......]
I am of the believe that a woman simply can not teach a boy to be that which she herself i not. a man. Boys learn this by some other means and fill in the gaps the best they can. More often than not they grow up never fully understand what a man IS...until well into manhood themselves, ..and those boys who grew up without a father, are more likely than not to father a child out of wed lock.........and not raise them. These boys grew up believing "well I didn't need a father my mother raised me" and this translates into "my son doesn't need me either" My father was the example of the man I wish to become, and a lot of cats grow up without that example.
Some good points. This reminds of the overrated thread. I think there should also be a thread for underrated things with marriage being at the top of the list, especially in this day and age. People tend to speak out about why a person shouldn't get married, which takes it from one extreme and puts it at another. Even though people can still walk out on each other when they are married, I think having signed some paper and crossed some wires, it can make people think two or three times before leaving their families behind when they think about everything that needs to be sorted out, which would then hopefully lead to WORKING on the marriage and making it work. Not to the point of tolerating each other, but actually working toward falling in love again and wanting to spend the REST of their life with one another. Pssh, what am I saying, it's all about the sex, dropping it hot, hittin' and quittin' it, havin' a fling, gettin' that booty. Not like family structures as a whole will suffer from this at all...oh wait, 72% unwed mothers...nevermind..
Exactly they do not value their role because they have not seen it. I hear women say all of the time that they want a man that has a good relationship with their mother. What they need to look for instead is a man that has been positively influenced by their fathers, uncles, or other responsible men.
The problem is not to many people are going to know, speak on, or admit missing out on what they never had.
The importance of a man has been all but been removed from the American family. He struggled for for a good time...gasping for air.....but once being a woman, with a child, but no husband....was accepted by the majority race in America that pretty much sealed the fate of father's. Non-white groups have always bore the weight for societies ills, so if its bad for white folks, its usually worse for non-whites. And now there are so many little girls and little boys being raised without their fathers it is damn near strange to see an intact family. Marriage is far more than just a piece of paper, but with so many children being raised outside of marriage.........and without their father, we have now started to say the opposite to explain why we grew up. "You don't need to get married to show a woman you love her" "Plenty of people stay together and don't get married" "Marriage is over rated" A woman, unmarried with a child, is a living breathing example of a woman who did not choose wisely. ...This is what I tell women "If you believe he is worthy enough for you to carry his child, he should believe you are worthy enough to carry his last name"
:smt023 As a single mother to a son myself, I completely agree with this. Although we went to court for child support & visitation, my son's "dad" has made the choice not to be a part of my son's life. I can't understand this at all because nothing but death would keep me from my own child. All children need both parents involved in their lives, but boys especially need a father in their lives to teach them how to be a man. My son is mixed & this society sees him as a young black man which I believe will bring more challenges into his life, and it upsets me that his "dad" has left him hanging by setting such a poor example of what manhood is. God knows I've done the best I can, but I know as a woman I can only do so much in this area. I pray every day that my son can be a good, strong & successful man. I'm a firm believer in marriage (& it lasting the way God intended it to), but I also believe that pregnancy is NOT a basis for marriage. If I had my way, I'd have been married before I had a child. There are also selfish hags that intentionally have children without a father around, & I believe they are cheating their children. Exactly. Of course, I was young & stupid when I got myself knocked-up, but I definitely didn't choose the best person to get involved with. I think it's also good advice not to have sexual relations with someone you wouldn't want to have children with. It's also worth mentioning, women are not the only single parents out there. I know some wonderful, strong men who are raising their children alone (whose mothers choose not to be in their lives) & I have great admiration for them.