black to white.-the ingredients of a good IR

Ok. what do you think would be the ingredients needed for a good IR ?

This would probably need to be discussed.

because due to any relationship of any race or any other demographic an IR in america has its own unique hurdles.

thus what do you think you will need to have in an IR to be successful and how will you go about getting it to be successful?

 

Whew, that's a broad subject.

For me its respect, confidence, assertiveness and LOVE

I don't care for women who are concerned with perceptions of themselves, what will family, friends, community think, etc, i.e. flakes.

I like women that are confident, well adjusted, know what they want and go for it.

I don't play games because it shows a lack of maturity in the mindset.

I'm a no nonsense person and appreciate women that know themselves.

 

Partly, an interracial relationship requires the same things as any other relationship - mutual respect and affection, trust, honesty, communication, etc.

I think that an interracial relationship specifically requires a recognition that the two of you will probably see some things very differently, and both people have to be comfortable with that. While I am not a racist and I consider myself reasonably sensitive to issues of race, there will be some things that I'll not see in the same way as my sweetie because he's black and I'm white. And, one could make a similar statement about gender, that for all of his sensitivity, he is a man and I'm a woman, so we will see and experience things differently because of that. I think that respecting differing views on sensitive topics, and respecting the person who holds those views, is imperative.

 

:smt023

Very good points you raised Nerdy Girl.

Which is why I believe that interracial also requires an open mindedness that transcends different facets.

You have to be able to speak with your partner and understand where they are coming from.

 

The main difference between an IR and other relationship is the need to keep an open mind because we have all been influenced by racial stereotypes but don`t realise it.

 

true dat. they will have to be able to talk about it all and be sensitive to each other about it

 

1 full cup of be yourself
1 full cup of don't expect your mate to be anything other then himself.

...mix

set on the stove...simmer.

the mere suggesting that an IR relationship is any different than a same race relationship is a bit offense.

 

well I beg to differ. LOl

as you know the only difference is because society makes a point to point you out and make problems for you. example: you do know that you will catch hell from a small group of ignant people for dating outside your race. UUUHHHMMM kentucky church comes to mind.

another thing to ignore cultural differences (which is not a bad thing) is a bit silly. you may like hip hop music (why would they call it music today is beyond me. it lost it in the early 2000) where you woman may like country and western. little stuff like that. according to pat ...mac and cheese must be a black thang

 

I don't disagree with what you said with regards to how other's perceive an IR relationship but what you site after that are nothing more than difference between peoples regardless of race.

One guy might light football...his lady hates it.
I love to listen to Daris Rucker...my lady....Arkansas native would rather die than listen to country. An IR relationship is no different than any other, you can't PLAN other people's reaction to your union.

....(can't stand Mac and Cheese)...come to Arkansas...these white folks LOVE IT!

 

I have to disagree with this. Just the fact that one person is of one race and the other of another adds an element that doesn't exist in a same race relationship. When I'm with a WM, I don't have to worry about whether something I say might be offensive to him as a WM. But if I'm with a BM, being white and not always understanding what might be a sensitive topic (like "good hair" for instance) to a BM, I find myself choosing my words more carefully than I would with a WM. And I have to think that BM would not have to explain themselves to a BW like they might to a WW.

Hope that made sense.

PS Read Goody's response to PR's mac & cheese remarks and then read mine. You can see his POV (as a BM, offended by PR's "ignorance") and my POV (as a WW, believing that he was merely surprised that mac & cheese was a popular holiday dish for black families, being a WM and not celebrating that way). IMO, that is a cultural thing, not just two people disagreeing.

 

I see both of your points of view..........and I still disagree.

 

I agree on that point.

thats cool

 

let me ask you this , do you think its tougher to be in an IR because of the differring POV when it comes to race issues when it comes up or do you see it as a Plus.

I believe it can be both

 

I think it depends on the respective individuals in regards to that question.

For myself I'm very open minded and have a keen interest in other cultures.

So I'm always willing to hear things from varying perspectives.

I think its a reason I am attracted to free thinking women. I love women that don't box themselves off in their mindset and are always willing to expand their worldviews across the board when the opportunity presents itself.