Black Men, Be a Father and Husband for All Women

I listen to Barack Obama's speech today on black fatherhood and i was struck by something he said that "it takes more courage to raise a child than to make one". Black men who are going wackco over women from other races are still stained by these images and the reputation of being poor fathers and husbands. White women who get much flack from their families for dating or marrying black men are more concern for their daughter's long term lives because of this image and reputation of black men. Granted not all black men are bad partners or husbands, but the fear persist on the part of many who fear that their daughters will be abandoned or mistreated by black men. I have had people tell my lady to not marry me or have children from me. I can tell you one thing. When i have my first child i will be a good father as well as a good huband to my wife to be. Yes, i will marry my lady.

 

we wouldn't be in this situation, if it were not a problem

and, of course, statistics back up the idea that black men are more likely to have kids, and be absent fathers..

I'm with you on the same boat. If I have kids, I'll make sure to be in their lives, actively. We shouldn't expect congratulations and pats on the back, for being there tho. That should be expected. You had the manhood to make a baby, now take care of it.



The best thing you can do tho, is to have people get to know you. If people are interested in you, they'll take the time to understand you, and to recognize that you aren't like all of these other pimp daddies, lookin to bust a nut.

 

Amen pettyofficerj, the transformation that will come is in each of us (black men) and will take generations to come. I look forward to proving the world wrong, not only in my own life, but in the world at large. So help me.

 

Agreed
I recall a sister,on media takeout, saying that Black men who are in interracial relationships tend to take care of their children better and more often than the ones who are with Black women.I think its some study but i cant find it on google.

 

Although I respect Barack, those kinds of speeches always seem to leave out women who try to deny men access to their kids, women who play games and use the kids as weapons/pawns. Women who try to move out of state without telling the father. Also the "I can do it by myself" women who only wanted a sperm donor and not the man himself.

 

cosign, he just piggybacked on stereotypes.

 

It's a two-sided problem:

Sistas messing around with brothas that don't stand for anything and brothas cavorting with sistas that aren't capable of properly raising a child.

If the man heads up the family (as so many brothas like to say)...then the responsibility for improving the black family starts with the man.

If you wouldn't take the woman home to your mother and/or you wouldn't want the woman being the mother of your children.....don't even think about pulling down your pants.

You may have more lonely nights but it's worth the wait to get it right. 8)

 

I'm sorry I always seem to hear how BW are the leaders of the race. We're a "matriarchial" society. So who's responsibility is it exactly? They're the ones choosing these lowlifes.

My message to the men is use condoms. That is one aspect you can control if you don't want to be a dad.

 

The truth is said there folks.

 

AGREED,i was actually thinking the same thing during the speech.This goes for everybody though.You notice how black preachers and etc NEVER tell what Black women need to do,but speak out on black men?They never say black women need to get rid of their attitudes,or using their kids as pawns,and etc etc.Its because the majority of the people in their congregation are black women and they probably dont want to offend them because it could put the church on a line.

 

co sign,black women who mess with thugs KNOW that the dude isnt shit,but they still do it.Yet they complain when they are single and 5 months behind receiving child support payment.

 

My God, some good points got made in this thread! Awesome comebacks.

I do see a lot of women raising kids without there fathers but if you dig into the story, 90% of the time it was because they messed with somebody who wasn't father material to begin with. I've seen this with my own eyes a million times. I'm reminded of Papa Was A Rolling Stone. I love the Temptations to death and Norman Whitfield put his foot into that record but I really have to wonder why their mother would choose to have so many children with such a loser? If that's love, then it's true love. And these will be the main women complaining that the good men of their race are being taken. Umm, excuse me...you've proven that good men are not what you're looking for. If someone finds something in your trash that they like, then it wasn't stolen from you.

:wink: Good stuff.

I personally plan to be a huge part of my child's life when that time comes around. My father and mother were present for me and I think it's best, personally.

Now, I'm not saying that it's all the woman's fault everytime. But I have seen far too many cases where women get with kats that couldn't be paid to be fathers and yet the women thought they could change them and then everybody suffers as a result. And then they act like there weren't any warning signs.
Now, if you're a respectable kat who was with a respectable woman and you just split then you suck and I hope you're the person Obama was really referring to.

 

American society has never been a place that seeks to embolden and empower black male pride. Our society has sought to emasculate black men and de-value us with respect to BW.

It's a chicken & egg problem....a lot of these black women grow up without fathers so they don't know what to look for in a man. Black boys aren't the only ones that suffer without the presence of a male....black girls suffer as well and it shows up in their choices of men.

As for the matriarchial black society....let's remember that (depending on the stats you use) there are 85-90 black men for every 100 black women...which is fairly low. Add to that the fact that there are roughly 200,000 more black men in prison than white men despite the fact that white men outnumber black men nearly 6 to 1...and you have a recipe for a matriarchal culture. Asian men generally outnumber Asian women....(by Asian I mean East Asian)...no surprise their culture is highly patriarchal. This isn't an argument over which one is better...or that numbers alone tell the story.....but it's something worth noting.


I agree about the condoms.....brothas need to wear them.

 

I was being sarcastic when I said that we're a "matriarchial" society. I know that label was put on us to denature the black man as head of household. But my point remains. BW often say they're the leaders of our community, yet it's us men who must "take responsibility." I always thought leaders took responsibility. It's like the CEO blaming the workers.

 

Society is such today that women in general are never really held accountable for their actions, not just BW. For example, you wouldn't call a stripper a whore, she's "empowered." She's "owning her sexuality."