best/worst excuses to not go to work

in light of tam going to work right after a trip to the ER...I had to giggle to myself about some of the best/worst excuses people have given me as to why they can't work...

here are a few:

I left the light on in my car and it won't start...I can't come to work
I was hit by a car
I was detained by the police
I am a witness to a crime
my friend left her baby with me and she never came back
I don't have enough gas to get to work
I've been robbed
I was mugged last night
we're in jail (this one cracked me up)

 

I have diarrhea. (That works)

 

"I can't come in today, because all my clothes were stolen from the laundry room" (actually happened to me)

 

I can't work on Tuesday because my mom has a doctor's appointment and I have to take her

my mom had surgery yesterday and I need to stay with her today

I am getting new tires on my car and they couldn't do it on my two days off this week so I can't make it in today

my sister is sick and I need to take care of her

i got a ticket on my way to work...got out of the car and broke the heel on my shoe...going back home

one the girls i don't like is working today and i don't want to work with her...just can't do it


:smt043i have a very entertaining bunch!

 

One of our employees called in tired. Imma try that one....

 

Ill call off saying I'm to tired to work while you hear a party going on in the background with a da fuck you going to do about it tone of voice.

 

I slipped and fell in the shower this morning and ended up in hospital with amnesia. Just remembered I had a job.

 

There's a confrence I think I can benefit from. Close enough for a day trip, but far enough that your boss or workers can't or won't come.

 

I pleasured myself a wee bit too much. And now I can't feel my legs...

 

I accidentally slept in with your wife.

 

can I have a play day and not come in to work:smt005