Are you friends first?

As an add on to another thread I find myself wondering if you are friends with your bf/gf/so first or was it a boom! We are on thing.

I often find myself with men that I was not initially physically attracted to. It started with a conversation which I found interesting, which lead to more of the same, which lead to a phone call etc.

I don't really get the "friends zone" thing. I need to know someone really well before I can go to another place. The more I know someone, the more attractive they become to me.

Anyone else?

 

no such thing as friends first in my opinion. It's either or. Your friend gaining won't effect the relationship but it's more than likely to hurt a romantic relationship.

 

I'm sorta in-between. Once somebody is in the friend zone for me - I will, and never have developed feelings - its sorta too late, don't know why. Just never happened. I'm not "boom" either, it takes me a while to go to an emotional state in a relationship - I'm fairly slow in that department. Physical interest is something that is there from the start, if not - it will never appear.
But I ain't jumping into the sac w you on a first date no matter how much I wanna jump your bones.. I need to feel you out first.

 

There are occasions where the chemistry is overwhelming right from the start, but usually I'm friends first, at least a bit. Sometimes the chemistry is there, and you both know where it's going but you let it take its time...which is often the best.

Ive been with stunningly gorgeous model-worthy men, and I've been with men who were not. Years ago I fell for a man who had the most deliciously filthy mind I've ever run into. He could make a phone book sexy...and as one of my friends said at the time 'He's so homely he's almost cute! He looks like an earth shoe.' She was right. He wasn't the best lover in the world and he was the homeliest man I've ever been with, but dear god what a mind! I took to his mind right away, the rest it took a while to warm up to.

 

Interesting. My current bf and I have been friends for 17 years. We were just friends and hung out and that was all.

2 years ago it all changed and boom! I was knocked over and here we are.

Would I ever have imagined I would be dating him.....never

 

I'm sure he probably did though. I've never had a friend that there was a possibility with. If there were any interest beyond friendship I would make a move, I don't pine its weak.

 

The wife & I were friends for several years before we ever got involved with each other. All the other women that I have had long term relationships with were more or less met while out and about somewhere, there was mutual attraction and everything just progressed from there.

 

Different time different worlds. He was involved I was involved and that was all. I thought he was nice looking but his sense of humour made him my friend.

Years later it was the sense of humour that got me. And his HUGE cock of course! lmfao oh and his bank account

 

You better watch out DK will take that as affirmation.

 

I was thinking about that whole "Friend Zone" thing recently, seeing as how I'm currently (still) crushing on a coworker who also happens to be a friend. We've been friends for 3+ years.

Are women put into "friend zones" by guys? If so, how does a woman get out of it? Hmmm...

Anyway, back to the question, I think it's good to get to know a guy a bit before you date. It helps you to both feel each other out first. Plus, it sometimes helps the attraction bit. I may not be physically attracted to him at first, but by virtue of his personality, he becomes attractive to me.

Okay, it's good to be friends first. LOL. The ones you're physically attracted to at first, the fire usually burns out quickly.

I think I'm completely rambling in this post! LMAO!! I will stop now. :mrgreen:

 

Not at all Bookie! That is what I am talking about!

I guess there is a friends zone but I am not sure what it is? All my bfs have been friends first really. Except for one. We were friends but not "real friends" and we all know how that worked out! LMFAO

 

Yeah, almost all of my friends are guys. Many of them go in and out of the "friend zone" all the time.

My "friend zone" is very fluid. LOL.

(I have no idea what you're talking about in that last part. ;-) )

 

Fluid is good! And I mean that in a non filthy way lol

 

LMAO! Absolutely!

 

I was only friends with my ex I broke up with that I was on and of with for nearly 4 years. Usually it is an attraction first I guess. I have not been in that many relationships. I tend to be friends with a guy and keep him as a friend, as I am usaully friends with guys I am not atracted to. Right now, I only have two guy friends that live local and we bounce realtionship stuff off each other.

 

I always say that my man and I became friends first, but really we were both attracted to each other from the start. I never thought of actually being with him, but found him hot as hell. I still do, and if you ask him he'll tell you that it was love at first sight. Anyway, technically it was a BOOM thing because it was within 9 days of knowing each other that we were together (not just sex, but I mean TOGETHER) and it only took that long because we weren't 100% on what the other one felt.

On the friend thing. I think, even with something that starts quickly and is sexual/romantic attraction from the start, you need that element of friendship to blossom just as quickly or else it won't go anywhere. JMO of course.

My sister was friends with her husband before they were together. He was dating her best friend and she wasn't interested in him, other than as a friend, at all. She didn't find him the least bit attractive, but he was a cool guy (so she says). Not sure how he felt, so can't speak for him. They were best friends before they got together.

 

I was friends with my ex before we decided to date.

 

My ex husband was my friend first. My ex boyfriend was not. My current bf was.

In fact, my current boyfriend and I have been best friends almost since the beginning, and I think it's way better that way...We have a bond that me and my ex never did.

Nate is just awesome, though.... Anything else is moot.