Are you fond of Europeans in general?

In being in love with white women, have you found to be in general more in touch with whites period? Many whites have stated about being in touch with Blacks via hip-hop, IR, music, etc. Do you feel an apprecation for european culture in general? Does it go both ways?

 

I have never been to Europe myself,but I am of the mind that if you are cool people you are cool people no matter where you are from.

 

Hell no..

I'm not a sambo just because my woman happens to be white :lol:

Sounds like you're a HUGE tom to me

 

I've been to Europe and I enjoyed being there. But I don't put European cultures as something more important to know or experience than any other

 

yeah. i guess it gets a bit hard to enjoy on your knees.

 

Preach

No need to be Stepn'fetchit just because your woman happens to be White

 

Pretty harsh responses to this thread, but to be honest Briarwood, you set yourself up for that.

 

You're right

He shuffled his ass in here with that tom-ass shit and got just what he deserved :lol:

 

I have a appreciation for both but I love to hang with Europeans who like various forms of Black music.

 

Sorry if I'm about to offend anyone now, but to me it seems like most of you feel that if you admit to any appreciation of European culture, you might just as well have "slave" burned into your forehead or something...

Being in a multi-cultural relationship, I have to say, that if my BF showed no appreciation and for my culture, I don't think I'd be interested in him for very long. The appreciation for each other, inkluding each others background and culture, should go both ways.

 

Of course it should go both ways Ronja but when you run across things like "In being in love with white women, have you found to be in general more in touch with whites period?" it smacks of the "in order to fit in you have to dive into some other culture 100%" stuff.

I don't think the OP is a tom but some people [not saying the OP] think race and culture are the same thing.

Sad but true...

 

I have no problem appreciating the culture of my lady..but I'm not grovelling and buckdancing like the original poster tends to suggest

 

You said it very well..

 

Does the highlighted sentance really have to be as negative as you portray it? "To be more in touch with whites"... can't Briar just have ment that as "do you feel more comfortable around" or something like that? (Or has he written something previously that haven't caught my attention, that will lead you to believe that he means "dive into some other culture 100%".)

 

Again I want to be very clear here – I'm not jumping on the OP in anyway but I am trying to give you [anyone] reasons why that sentence brings to mind some negative issues with me and I would assume some others as well.

In America [USA] there is this “syndrome” where someone feels it's mandatory to cast off race in order to be accepted by another race. Or maybe I should say culture.
When black people do it it's called being a Tom and when white people do it it's called being a Wigger.
Sometimes you'll see it manifested in a black manager for example, who'll be harder on his black direct reports because he feels it proves to the white people in the office that he can be “fair”.

I think it is possible to feel more comfortable around people because you've expanded your dating pool and I don't think that it's inherently wrong to like other people or cultures – Indeed I think it is great and it only makes you smarter and stronger however I only bring to light the other side of the coin in that it is something that I think people need to look at.

When I started dating “outside” of my race I asked myself all kinds of questions because I need to make sure for myself that I was not doing it because I think less of who I am.

These are my thoughts and again it is not based on anything personal about the OP.

 

Well said.

 

Wow, talk about insecure. :roll: I was simply asking if you and your lady share cultural experiences together. Take some prozac people.

 

:lol:

Well, I can't speak for the black guys here (who are so afraid of being "Toms"). But me and my BF share a lot. We'll often sit and talk about the different unwritten rules (here or in Cameroon), the history of our countries, current events etc

He really enjoy anything about the viking era (what African would not enjoy the fact that their former colonial masters where commonly used as slaves here- even if it is a long time ago), and he's very facinated by all our folks tales, especially the ones about trolls. He's bought several books with English translations of our tales. Last time he was here, he even bought several miniature trolls to send to his parents, along with a book

We both listen to almost all kinds of music. So that's never an issue. He even enjoyed going to the opera with me. At least he pretended to do so (Actually I think he did enjoy it. It was Carmina Burana, and that's not really an opera. More a concert/choir thing.) We've also been to several more "normal" concerts, and visited museums. He enjoys learning (as do I) so we're both very open to the other persons suggestions. The only time I've said no, is when he wanted to drag me to a football match (I have to learn to like football I guess), and he's said no once, to going to the cinema to watch a 90min documentary about female genital mutialtion with me and my women's group (there are men there too). Don't know if it was the movie or the company, that didn't apeal to him, but I guess a mix.

 

To the OP------ I say yes and no.

No because I don't consider every european person to be my friend. No because Europeans are just like everyone else, there are good ones and ones you hope to never meet.

I say yes because unless you live in a vacuum, dating a European opens your eyes to that world. As someone pointed out, I am fascinated by how Europe came to be. I mean there is a lot of history and it is quite fascinating. In my experience, when I am fond of a woman, I tend to be extremely curious about her history. Her upbring, country, culture etc are all part of that history, and it is almost addicting to gulp up all that information.

Yes, because my past experiences with europeans has made very comfortable with the word "european". From a guy's perspective, I am more of myself with a European woman. It's one of the few instances when I get to be just a "man" who is interested in a "woman". I am not black, I'm not this, I'm not that, I am just a man who is interested in you. I know this topic wasn't started to draw dinstinctions between groups of women, but I can say that things are never that simple in America (at least from my view). You can't imagine how good it feels to judged by your own merit, not yours + the opinions that have been subconsciously ingrained into people's head (maybe they admit it or not). Apparently not all Europeans are this way, but my experience has been just that. Your experience makes you afterall.

 

I have to agree with Ronja on this one.

I didn't at all take any thing much from the original post.

Whilst I'm not European, I saw it more as asking the question of "do you, by default, understand/comprehend/appreciate the culture of your other half because they are your other half and have shown you a different perspective on things?"

I have certainly had my eyes opened to issues and things in Africa because of my man and understand smaller details better now, and I have done the same for thing. An inter-racial relationship isn't about selling out your culture/race, it's about compromising when there are problems and learning the rest of the time.

As Ronja said, if he didn't appreciate my culture (which I've had to pull him up on several times) and accept some things here the way they are, then I have no time or respect for that. I don't expect him to open his arms to all white people because i'm white, any more than I would do the same for black people.

It's all a matter of respect for each other and each other's culture..