Are foreign women REALLY better?

Seriously. I have less than zero patience for people who simply want things to just land in their laps like magic. A few here who prefer foreign women make it seem like they have that preference out of sheer laziness. They want her to come to them. Maybe they look for that strength/confidence in a woman because they lack those traits personally.

I'd never in my life take a man seriously who needed me to be the aggressor when we first meet. I'll make my interest clear, but if he can't make a move, I'm out. I'm a strong woman and I look for strength in my partner. A man needing the female to make all the first moves screams weakness (or lack of confidence?) to me. I'm sure others may see things differently though.

 

Not judgemental at all lol.
If the goal is to meet a like minded person who shares your values I never understood why the approach speaks to their character or how they are as a person. Aggressive doesn't always mean strong it could also scream impatient. And here's the thing you are a woman, a woman who loves to be approached you have next to no clue what it's like to approach women especially American women. Sorry this rubs some people the wrong way but as a culture, an American culture we are not very warm or inviting people. Most times you are going up to a stranger hoping not get a stank attitude let alone not being rejected. I know to you and many others hey that's just part of the game simply suck it up, deal with the nastiness/humiliation of being rejection publicly. And you personally may think hey I don't do that and that's great for you but you don't have to deal all the people who do behave that way. So you really can't blame a person for not wanting to deal with negativity and rudeness.
My recent travels to Canada make me see us as a culture so differently, even the way women reject you there is so warm and inviting it doesn't come across as scathing, just a kinder culture.
One of my boys is a bodyguard, 6'7 bodybuilder type, the kind of dude who you'd think would have no trouble getting women and even he this adonis on paper praised the hell out of a recent trip to Toronto and Berlin because the treatment was so damn different. He simply couldn't believe women were capable of being nice and decent. And again I know you're gonna think hey but I'm not like that and that's great but you don't have the experience of having to deal with women.

 

The disconnect between you and Raider is New York and San Diego. If you both were to swap cites for a while you two would really have a meeting of the minds even more so than you do now.

 

That's possible I don't deny that I'm a product of my environment but it seems like a lot of men have such similar experiences no matter where they are in this country.
I never hear men from other countries talking about American women as the kind of women they want unless they're greencard hunting. Again just my experience though.

 

I strongly believe that no matter who you are or where you are, the decision is yours to make. No one is promised to anyone confident or not. Most women enjoy the game. It's about the mystery. Who is it going to be?

If one doesn't make the cut, it's game over. To be told to suck it up is condescending. I'm sure it all becomes clear if the tables were turned.

I agree with TDK about meeting in environments that just let meetings happen. It's not the expectation of that "chance encounter" that might lead to romance and more.

There's nothing wrong with the approach.
There's nothing wrong leaving a person well enough alone.

No one is a coward either way.

Sure, reward may come after taking the risk. But at the end of the day, one has to decide what risks are worth taking.

 

Of course men from other countries dont want our women. lol

Proximity matters, their women are closer to them and competitive in the dating pool.

Both of you have valid points but you live in different realities. The location is much more of a disconnect than the gender.

You talk about the experiences of other guys but you fail to mention: Stizzy, Bugleroller, Satyr, Qwils, Boba and many others.

I think it's a bit comforting for you to hear more of the stories you relate to better, but you don't really get anything out of that but the temporary feeling of comfort.

I don't really think New York is your thing, but you have put a lot of effort into staying there (career choice ect). Maybe you will feel like some of that will go to waste if you leave, just remember the concept of sunk cost in economics.

Whatever your reason for staying you must see the bad aspect as being worth it. Just remember you make the choice to stay there every day.

Archangel didn't want to leave what he had in Texas but hey....

growth requires change.

 

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Beasty again.

 

Exactly!

I was reading his post and the first thing that came to mind was....how many different places has he been in the US?

 

Same.

 

Lol. He should try the south. He'd love this southern hospitality. Lol

 

I know for myself it isn't a matter of a man being aggressive. I do want someone who can be assertive. I'm an assertive woman, not aggressive. I'm not interested in submissive men.

The idea of a woman falling into a man's lap and all that is no different than women believing Prince Charming is going to ride up. And again, vacationing is very different than day to day reality.

The saying - "you either have the results or all the reasons why not" comes to mind.

If you don't go for the job, you aren't going to get it. If you don't do what it takes to rent/buy the house, it doesn't just happen.

BTW - you might be surprised how many men from other countries are genuinely interested in women in the US.

The whole thing with women being rude - that's inexcusable and I do think it can be very different (attitude wise) in different areas and different ages. Part of that is in you though if you are approaching women with nasty attitudes. Maybe you need to shift the type of woman you are approaching and/or take a look at where you are approaching them and/or your approach. I do know what you are talking about. At one point in time I had my moments of being a real bitch when it came to guys approaching me and I still see it going on out there. But I think a lot of that has to do with sensing what you are approaching too.

 

I totally get what you're saying and I've admitted a bazillion times here that I've literally traveled no where lol. My entire existence is between SD and LA so I have no clue what women are like out there in ny. I've said a bunch that out here, generally speaking, we're uber approachable and friendly so I think even your views may be different if you were accustomed to life out here (just as my views may differ if I was used to that rough ny life lol). Beasty's most likely 100% right. I was just saying, from my life experience out here, I have trouble respecting anyone who can't go after what they want (relationship, career, school, etc). May sound harsh but it's my opinion. And I do think that initial impression of confidence or thick skin when a man approaches, does say a lot about his personality. If it's sheer impatience, I'll learn that real quick. The initial impression though of him being strong enough to approach me (a stranger) is most certainly an attractive quality tho and I think it says maybe more than you think.

And I echo what K said about submissive men...times infinity lol. Not my cup of tea (it's actually one of my pet peeves lol). Horrible I know.

 

A lot. And for the places I haven't been I just listen to guys from other places. Like Beasty mentioned men on here who think similar to him but then I think of guys Orejon, Jaisee, Karma, Petty etc who have talked about the same difficulties in different parts of the country. It always stood out to me that good looking professional tall men like Jaisee and Orejon have both said their stock was higher with foreign women than it was Americans. Always left an impression on me.
Of course not every woman is like women from NY but I travel a lot for work haven't been to socal but I've been to other places where the energy isn't warm or inviting not like when I've been to Montreal Toronto Lancaster and London. I'm not the only one saying this.

 

Why is it so black and white though (no pun intended lol)
Why does the aversion or dislike of going up to strangers equate to being submissive?
Why can't it simply be finding it distasteful?
Right now dating is 100% in your favor you as a woman has to do no more than just go out to meet people. Very little risk a whole lot of reward. So it's easy to dismiss a person who doesn't want to use their precious free time dealing with rejection from overly picky people who have the unfortunate illusion of limitless choice.
And this has nothing to do with my personal situation. I'm the absolute happiest I've ever been but won't share that on here because the hate is super deep on this forum.
I will say this I do love how I met my lady. Mutual friend had a party and bam instant connection. That worked far better with my personality. I'm not weak nor risk adverse my job doesn't allow for that but I do pick and choose where I put my energy. And most people aren't worth the energy the initially demand. Being charming and making a woman feel comfortable is work. Putting yourself out there is work. How hypocritical is it to judge someone on something you yourself won't ever have to do. It's like having a trust fund and calling people lazy who are out of work.

 

Petty lives about 2 hours from you. :smt081

 

My point was other men have expressed the same stuff and they aren't from NY. And two hours is plenty. Is LA the same as San Diego?

 

Good point there. No it's not.

 

I think this strikes home for me because we have a guy in our circle who just can't seem to make that move regardless of the number of ideal situations he's been in.

You make good point. I think I'm pretty bold, but I definitely will take a moment to consider if I'll be successful. Also, you're right on the money about the differences in other areas. I actually love the vibe I get from SoCal, and experienced the same in Toronto. However, I'm the first to admit that NYC is often an interesting animal.

Ditto!

Absolutely! I think it's all about the balance. While confidence is a good thing, too much of it quickly becomes something else. I also agree that some things you just have to go for.

 

NYC is a great place in terms of diversity and access to all kinds of people. From the Indian hedge fund girl to the granola black girl you have so many options. Unfortunately a lot of flakey people and people who demand so much from people they barely know.
I've dated a bit in Georgetown but this was over ten years ago, what's the scene like out there now?