Appropriate, or not?

I'd like a few opinions on this, since it's not something I can talk to most people offline about without stirring up shit.

Yesterday was the company picnic, and we were allowed to bring one guest, so I brought one of my closest friends with me and Nate (who works there, too) because:

a) She used to be a manager for both of the restaurants that were involved in the picnic

b) She left on relatively good terms when she decided she wanted to open her own business

c) I wanted her to have fun and see some old friends


She's a sweet girl, and when she was my boss I loved working with her, because she's one of the few in this business who actually cares about both the business and keeping her crew happy and upbeat while at work. After she quit we got pretty close.

I saw absolutely no reason to not bring her.

However, apparently it pissed off one of the current managers. No one else seemed to have a problem (from what I could tell), but one of them was very annoyed, and even asked me why I brought her, and told me I wasn't allowed to bring a guest (though the sign up sheet clearly stated 1 adult guest per crewmember was more than acceptable and encouraged.)

I'm guessing there's some bad blood between them, though it seems to be more personal than work related. I was unaware of that.

So, was it inappropriate? As I said, no one else said a word (not even the two General Managers that were there... the angry one is a shift manager) and everyone but that woman seemed happy to see my friend.

 

It's appropriate to bring your friend to the picnic. I mean come on, whatever happened between those two is a personal matter. For that guy to get all riled up because she's there makes him all the more of a jackass and VERY child-like in his behavior. Who cares what that person thinks. She's your friend and everyone else likes her company. So I'd suggest you tell him, "You can kiss my BLACK ass!"

 

lippy is going to say...inappropriate

example: after hiring a new manager in a district...christmas party comes along a few months later...i fly in for party...new DM + all of her employees attend...she also invites the old DM that she replaced...it didn't bother me at all but the new manager soon saw the error of her ways when she realized that the old DM stole all her thunder...she got one upped the entire night...

example: new manager in a different district...i fly in to meet my boss and have breakfast with our retail partner...my boss invites the old DM that was fired to breakfast because they used to be friends as well as friends with the retail partner...they proceed to talk badly about the new hire...i'm sitting there going WTF is going on...2 years later is still a problem...

work is work
picnic is picnic

work picnic is different than a social picnic

work is all about the unwritten protocols...things we are just supposed to know that no one tells us until it's hand slapping time

it is what it is and it's over so hopefully this person won't hold it against you

.02

 

I agree 100.1% I have nothing more to add at this time. It was inappropriate. And never let "no one else said anything" be the gauge or the standard of measure.

 

She didn't one-up anyone, talk bad about anyone, or do any of the negative things in your examples, though. She also wasn't fired in the first place, she left by her own choice.

In fact, she also has a business arrangement with one of the stores for dessert catering for events just like the picnic. So technically she's even still involved, just on a different level.

I can see your point, but I don't think the situations are similar enough for comparison.

 

you asked for an opinion...i only gave you two examples but i could give you more...it's not just about a picnic...it's about the unwritten protocol of working for a company...you will hear it all the time in different scenarios...people will say, "didn't she know that would be inappropriate" everyone else will say, "apparently not"...then the person defends themself by saying, " i didn't know...it's not in the employee handbook"

this is actually a very common scenario where a person that no longer works for the company shows up at a company event...when companies put on picnic and parties they are for current employees not past employees...most employees see parties as a benefit to working for the company so when someone brings a past employee it is only natural for someone to say, "what is SHE doing here?"

obviously you are feeling somewhat uncomfortable or you wouldn't have asked the question...i'm sure you will find some people here to agree with you if that will make you feel better...

on a side note, you mentioned that she is now a vendor...a company can't invite one vendor and not another...it's bad for business...depending on the size of the company...if someone finds out she was invited and they weren't it could create hard feelings...the beverage guy shows up and says...hey, i talked to your pastry girl and she said she came to your company picnic...how come i wasn't invited:smt011

welcome to the world of office politics in companies big/small

 

Ok, I'm not arguing, but I've already noted your opinion, lipstick, you don't have to keep going on about it. I simply responded that I didn't think your examples were the same thing, which they weren't. You've made your opinion clear enough as it is. Thanks for the input.

 

it would seem to the casual observer that you wanted her to have fun at the expense of others in the company. on face value, there seems to be alignment of sympathies with an old boss ...you probably should have considered , envisaged or foreseen the feelings of other folks that would be forced into a social situation, not of their own choosing, at the sight of your former boss ...probably you should have run this through another boss before appearing with her ...

I think the old manager should have exercised better judgement instead of taking advantage of your generousity and sympathies , something that could impact your career with your company ...this is about the future not the past of the company.

Personal judgement should never conflict with corporate judgement. The teach this in organizational behaviour ...I mean with the corporate, you thinking within how your personal judgements impact the corporate spirit.. sometimes personal interests are not best for the corporate interests.

It was good you got a feedback immediately ....does not mean the shift manager is bad ...just shows she/he made her/ his disagreement known upfront than scheme covertly or use it as a leverage for the bad blood it might have generated ... might be time to mend broken fences... work is where you receive your paycheck not fight personal battles unless you are on your way out.

 

Don't worry about it, Persephone - nobody can know the exact right perfect thing to do in every situation. Personally I think your coworker was being an uptight schmuck and everybody should have taken a chill pill, but we all live and learn...

Don't say anything about it at work and everybody will forget about it and move on to more important matters.

 

Well put, well put...

 

9 times out of 10 when people ask the question...they already know the answers. You don't strike me as an idiot. ( I cold be wrong) if you stop

pause

and really think about it. I think you will see you made the wrong choice.

 

your welcome...anytime

 

You let those bitches fight.