Approaches to Parenting

What aspects of parenting skill do you feel are most lacking or in need of improvement/introduction, nowadays?

We know children have several broad, basic needs:

Shelter
Nutrition
Safety
Love
Education
Play/Companionship.

Which aspects of these - or others - are we most lacking? Did your parents lack in any way? Are there any areas you wish to improve upon, as a parent?

As we know, being a parent is the most important job most of us will ever do - so, how have we done, and how can we improve?

 

As a single parent I'd like to spend more time with Jacob (so companionship) - I'm at college four days a week and I work sometimes. I debated going to college but decided it was for the best as it will hopefully benefit him more in the future as I'll be able to support him better financially. It's still hard though.

I wouldn't say my mother lacked anything really however looking back she never showed me much affection. She isn't the kind of mother to tell you you're pretty or well done or anything. Whatever she is lacking though my Auntie made up for - she's the most huggy person ever and was always wondering how I was doing at school, congratulating me on things and all that.

 

During my childhood, safety was really the only (mild) deficiency and that wasn't a lack of effort on my mother's part it was likely more influenced by our economic status and thus environment.

My mother did her very best to provide heaps of love, attention and play for us. I admire her for how hard she had to work to provide for two children.

I have no children so cannot comment on what I am lacking towards them...

 

I feel that discipline is lacking in todays parenting world.
I've seen some of the worst behaved children out in public and at home because parents are scared to discipline their children, and it appears only to be escalating.
Growing up my parents used the wooden spoon on my brothers and myself, and when that broke we graduated to the plastic soup ladle. I do not believe in this way of discipling children and as a result I do not spank my children. I've found that putting them in time outs when they do misbehave and guiding them in the correct way to conduct themselves in life by word & example has done me wonders so far. I am complemented quite often on Hughey & Dewey's behaviour by people, so hopefully I'm doing something right.

 

I agree 100% with this. So many children are so ill-behaved, it's frightening.

I would also say that many kids today are lacking attention and time with their parents/family. People are working too much and not spending enough time with their kids. Too many kids are zoning in front of the TV or video games or the internet. I sound so old saying this. :smt043 But seriously, you don't see kids outside playing anymore....it's a rare sight nowadays.

Also respect for adults seem to be lacking in kids. I raised my daughter to say thank you and things like that. She does it without being prompted by me or someone else most of the time. I've been complimented on how polite she is.

My parents weren't always into the "I love you" thing. We rarely heard that growing up, but we knew we were loved. I tell my daughter every day how much I love her. And I also tell her how happy I am to be her mom and how much she means to me.

 

I agree with you 100% bookie.
My kids are outdoor children. We walk everywhere we need to go & we spend most of our time together at the park playing, riding our bikes and taking the dog for a walk. I think the fear and awareness of sexual predators has really constricted parents in our ability to let our children out of our sight, which of course has led to a more sedentary lifestyle.

As for the lack of respect for adults…I couldn’t agree with you more. When I grew up we called all our friends parents “Mr & Mrs” and wouldn’t dream of not using our manners. Manners are a huge thing in my house. There is always a please, thank you & a may I before and after any request. Again, this comes from parents being diligent & drilling this into the kids from a very early age & keeping their end up as well.

And as for the “I love you” thing…my upbringing was the same. The words weren’t used, but my brothers & I knew that we were loved. I tell my children all the time how much I love them, smother them in kisses and cuddles until they let go. We have a routine at bedtime where I give them an Eskimo kiss, butterfly kiss, tickle mummy kiss & then follow it up with a “night night, sweet dreams, sleep well, see you in the morning…love you”. Its sooooo important as parents to let them know how much they are truly loved.

 

OMG! I say almost the exact same thing to my daughter every night. LOL.

 

Eskimo and butterfly kisses with our kids every night as well, glad to know we are not the only ones!
:smt023

 

I rememer the nightly eskimo and butterfly kisses my mother gave me.
One of my fondest memories....

 

Its the best isn't it...!!! At times I find that I cannot express to them how much I love them and just hope that they remember what I say & do to try and show them how much I love them...!!! I can only hope that H & D will have fond memories like you Geeky...!!!

 

Can't rep you again so soon T-Bear, but I'm glad you raised the topic of discipline in this thread, it has such an woefully undeserved authoritarian ring about it nowadays, and I suspect that is what's causing increasing lawlessness in kids worldwide. Kudos to you.

Personally speaking I'm not a father, but as a doting uncle, I am damn keen to ensure that the mistakes my (otherwise) mostly wonderful parents made are not repeated with my nieces and nephews - and conversely that I, on the other hand, do not OVERcompensate, which would be equally poor stewardship.

You named your kids "Hughey" and "Dewey"???