A Nigerian thing?

I'm currently dating a Nigerian guy, for about 8 or 9 weeks now. We've spent a lot of time together, and when we're not together in person, we're on the phone to each other...he is very sweet...we can talk together properly and have lots in common. He is round my house lots of the time, or me at his house.

There is a but though...
BUT

I haven't met any of his friends or anything yet. He has said he hasn't been in a relationship for some years, and in fact the relationship ('relationship') we have is the most serious he has been in...that he hasn't bothered to make a lot of time for girls for a while.

I actually saw one of his mates in a car when he came to pick him up from my house. He referred to me by name on the phone to this guy, so he must have mentioned me, and the guy was waving and grinning at me, but my guy just didn't seem keen to even introduce us to say hi! Why?

One friend said this might be to do with being Nigerian...that guys can be very close knit with their families and friends but not keen to bring a woman into the world, even if they do like her...does this sound familiar? especially if the woman is white?!

Help!

 

Sounds shady.

You'll have to call him out on it.

Cross-examine him so to speak.

 

Sounds a bit dodgy. Check him out further.

 

It could be shady.......either that...or maybe...he just doesn't want to bring you around his people until he is sure that something long-term will develop

 

You know I met a Nigerian a really long time ago who had a problem with me coming (I mean walking up) to his house. He said: my parents are watching out the window. So, instead of being welcomed into the house and introduced to his parents, I was told not to let myself be seen. And later he told me: yes there were watching me from the window that day. Talk about BIZARRE. Needless to say we did not become a couple. :roll: And this was an educated professional man. :roll:

 

I'm going to assume it's the second...until things seem otherwise. There is nothing else about what's going on that gives me cause for concern...his affairs are an open book to me in a way, and he doesn't get any illicit phone calls or turn his phone off or anything :lol:

 

That's good....my guess (assuming everything is legit) is that his family really loves him and they want him to get married soon...regardless of who it is...he doesn't want to look like he's just playing around.

One question though....is he the eldest child...and if not...does he have an older brother....that might be where the answer lies

 

No not the older brother or the eldest, he is the third of six and has one older brother...
but he is 36 this year so I think that his mum is keen for him to get married. And although she irritates him I know they're close...she calls him every couple of days and so on. So you think this is the key?

 

Probably...Nigerian moms (like all moms I suppose) want to see their boys marry good women. I think many would prefer if the girl was from the same ethnic group....even village if it were possible.....but overall...as long as the woman is of top quality...(as I'm sure you are Mistress B) that's what matters most. He likely doesn't want to get his mum's hopes up too much.

 

Ok makes sense. And he has said this in the past: that since I'm not Yoruba and I'm not from the same region, it doesn't really matter that i was black, white, green or blue...I'm still not as good as his mum would hope for, if she was to choose for him! but luckily he is a man of independent mind and doesn't seem to mind what his mum thinks...nothing more annoying than a man who is still in thrall to his mother's wishes *grrrr* - grow a backbone!!! If I was still doing what my dad wanted, I would be celibate until the Lord Almighty chose me for his beau, because apparently no other man is good enough :lol:

To be honest, I'm a conservative dressing lawyer who hardly gets drunk in public and attends church...I don't think his mum would find me too threatening...were she to ever meet me :wink: