A little question for DK and those who buy his theory

I feel this topic really touched a nerve with many of the ladies.

My only dog in the fight is I'm always weary of white women who just discovered a taste for dark meat, when it is contrary to their path in life all along.

There are many black men out there willing to accommodate that, I wouldn't however.

I prefer a white woman who has been confident, assertive and carved her own path all along in her personal life, as opposed to feeling the desire to somehow switch to black men. Not cool. Something is veneer about that mentality.

I'm sure the ladies wouldn't take kindly to some black guy that goes on and on and on about black women, because that is all he has dealt with personally in his life and then switched to white women. How can there not be something suspect about that person.

 

The force is strong with this one

 

I dont think anyone is denying white privilege - but I don't understand then, why BM would go with the older WW. It's not like she's forcing them, and in many cases he's the pursuer. I'm not sure, as I said before, what the advantage is to the WW. He's not going to be better in bed, a more charming companion, an answer to her financial concerns - what's in it for her? Especially when she can just as easily go with a WW his age, or a BM or WM her own age.

Some of you guys don't seem to have a very high opinion of BM in general. Or WW either for that matter.

 

I think someone has a crush on ol DK dontcha baby girl.

 

No shit. He's killing em and I am dying to see the response.

 

meh, no nerve touched with me. i look at what you all are saying as an american issue. i've always dated whom i want regardless of skin colour, age, religion or whatever.

 

A lot of this conversation as been around older divorced WW. Let me try this one for size and see if it fits. Hypothetical people. You have a WW who went to college, married at oh, let's say 25 to a guy she met at her first job. They get a house out in a mostly white suburb, have a couple of kids. She works part time so she can be home with the kids. Now she's 40ish, and hubby dumps her for his secretary. She has to go to work full time in the City nearby. The house might even be sold, and maybe she moves into the City when the kids hit high school or college.

Suddenly, maybe for the first time in her life, she's around significant numbers of black men. It's sort of natural that they'd be in her mind, and kind of natural they hadn't been when her daily life held few encounters with black people in general, and the few she knew were BW she met through the PTA or at the suburban hair stylist or the local grocery store. Black men were just not on her radar. Is that a function of privilege? Sure, but not in the way which has been implied in this thread.

Seriously, gentleman, you have limited numbers in some areas of the country, and a woman who has never spent time around black men isn't likely to discover an interest until she *does* have that opportunity. It's not like she was a racist who woke up one day and said "Hm, I'm old. Think I'll find a black man." It's more like it never *occurred* to her before because she just didn't know a lot of black men, and the ones she did more likely than not were married (which is a mental off limits to most women - we see the husbands of our friends as being built like Ken dolls - no genitalia)

As a metaphor, I never had Mexican food until I was an adult living in Los Angeles. I was vaguely aware of it, but there were no Taco Bells or high end Mexican restaurants in greater Boston in the 70s - maybe one little out of the way place in Cambridge. It's not that I liked or disliked Mexican food before I moved to Los Angeles. I was just never around any, so I never gave Mexican food any thought at all.

Between the time I lived in Los Angeles, and dated a black guy briefly before I met my now ex husband, and the time I moved here, the only black guys I knew were either co workers (off limits) or the fathers of my son's schoolmates (also off limits)

 

Why would an older woman go for a younger bm? Seriously? Better body more stamina in bed and the willingness to be taught to your likings duh. At least i'd imagine so. There's a certain sense of superiority when dealing with younger people. They look up to you so please stop pretending as though you don't see the advantages.

It has nothing to do with having a high opinion of black me or a low opinion of them its recognizing the racial hierarchy. For example the idea of an attractive bm is young hard bodied and chiseled features and not much else. Rarely are bm celebrated for their artistic academic or professional accomplishments outside of athletics.
There are no black equivalents to people George Clooney Brad Pitt or even Sean Connery who are reveared for being distinguished. No black equivalence to the likes of Donald Trump or George Soros or even Bill Gates. So when all you are is a hard body and a dick that people don't seem to take notice of until they're not in the line of attraction for what's considered attractive in their own race it does cause one to go hmmm.

 

You make it about race instead of about meeting a person. As if she just met a race instead of she just met a particular guy that somehow touched her.

 

pfffftttttt straight away my mind went to:

 

You make a valid assertion and I don't doubt that was your experience but from my perspective its like trying to sell me a porsche with 100k miles on it. Yeah its a porsche but I would have loved it way more when it was near new with 25k miles on it. Its what they like to call in finance leveraging options and its interesting that white and mature can leverage black and viral at much lower asking price than it can its white counter part. If black and viral were of value in the past why was their little to no interest.

 

:smt042 I'm sure these guys won't be offended you didn't notice their work DK. :|

I might throw in Larry Fishburne, James Earl Jones and Forrest Whitaker who I notice their acting abilities in roles. Don't tell me JE Jones is a hard body. :smt005

 

I was wait for that lol. You got me with Sidney though. Morgan Freeman is not considered sexy and distinguished by the masses. Wise maybe but not desirable. Denzel along with Wesley have been the only 2 black guys talked about in media at all for decades. And Will Smith is as recent as a new born.
I'm not saying its absolutely true but its generally true.

 

More stamina - maybe. I don't teach. If a man already doesnt know his way around a woman's body, I'm not interested. But what you're saying about young BM is the same for young WM. As has been noted before, young WM also get involved with older WW.

Sean Connery makes me puke - he's a wife beater. The only man on that list who is remotely attractive is Clooney. You're correct that there are not a lot of BM who are equivalent in the media to him. There also arent *that* many WM who are, but that's a side point.

You're making an assumption that older WW are not attractive to younger men, even though many of the women have told you that this is NOT true. It's also putting it back on BM to say that WW "go after" them as though the women are always the ones doing the approaching, and the BM are helpless to resist.

 

GQ, go back and read my answer to this. I have to think i'm not the only one in that position. When you grow to adulthood with little to no personal interaction with people outside your race, how can you be confident & assertive when it comes to dating outside of it?! I obeyed my parents in the matter of who I was allowed and not allowed to date. I don't think obedience while I was still living under their roof makes me insecure. I was only ever approached once by a black man when I was young, and while I was quite attracted to him, I was in love with someone I expected to marry. Had I not been, I may have gone out with him, even against my parents wishes. But when I came back home (I was at college), I know I wouldn't have been allowed to continue the relationship.

And I haven't a clue about the white privilege thing. I never felt privileged and I never tried to "get with" a BM. It's not a game or an experience you try out, imo. When my marriage of 10 years ended, and (after another 13 years) I got back into the dating scene, the internet opened up possibilities that didn't exist when I was younger. Non-white men approached me online, and I now had the freedom to choose who I could date. It so happens that I prefer BM.

Sorry, but I don't see that as suspect. I see that as being presented with opportunities that weren't available to me before. And I have to think there are others out there who have a similar history.

I understand (as much as I can, not being a BM) how you feel, but I ask you to try to look at it from my, and perhaps others' perspective.

 

And who amongst them is considered sexy or distinguished by the masses JC. I'm not saying they haven't been respected in the past but at fucking 50 something and 40 something George Clooney and Prad Pitt are still sex symbols.

And show me a publication where they call deep voice JEJ sexy or distinguished like Sean Connery.

 

glad i didn't disappoint & actually gave you something you weren't expecting

btw...i find morgan sexy as hell :smt060

i'd say samuel l jackson has been up there with denzel & wes as well, so has forrest

 

I completely understand that you like younger WW. I prefer mature men, black *or* white, but since I'm not in a position to pursue a relationship of consequence with anyone, dating younger allows me to have some sort of life. Younger men are less likely to want a LTR. Color isn't an issue - I'm approached by men of both races. I do have to say I've yet to be approached by an Asian man of any age.

Again, it may not be no interest - it may be that as I said, BM flew under the radar for a long time, because I didn't run into any available BM for many years. Boston is a great city, but it's still racially fairly segregated in terms of living - since I'm not a clubbing person, the people I tended to meet were at work or functions close to home where there just weren't many BM. So I didn't think about them one way *or* another. Sure I noticed if a guy I worked with was attractive (and there was that one dad at the PTA, come to think of it), but I wasn't about to act on it because I have a hands off at work rule, period.

 

I never once said white women didn't like younger men I was trying to illustrate. ... never mind. You're going to see what you want so have it.

 

OK Will Smith does zero for me, but the rest? That works. I could listen to Morgan Freeman read the telephone book - I love his voice.