A Good White Woman Will Force You to Change

I come to the belief in other WW/BM relationships that i have and still know of where the black men in those relationships seem to happier and constantly trying to improve themselves is because they have good strong women behind them who support them. I know in my own situation my own woman wants me to succeed. She constantly hammers me to be better than i am. I ask her why she want to change me? She tells me that she see things and knows things from her world that she feels i must be better to compete against. I asked her once why me? She would jokingly tell me she loves an underdog. She admires and respect black men who goes against the odds. She feel she must be a part of a man's existence who grows unafraid and she want s to be beside a man "who is a man". A good white woam who stands with her black man is something to be admired for what she herself have to endure from family, friends, others within her white world of relationships that would see her as a traitor. The black man is not alone in public scorn. His white female friend, lover, and wife is also scorned. It is what i believe to be the reason why the two are bonded against the world. My girlfriend once told me "It's you and me against the world".

 

the same goes for a good bm..in which mine has pushed me to better my life.

 

This is really interesting!
I thought the general idea was
"love your other half the way they are because you should love the person for what they are, not what they could be.

However, my crisis is that...I need my other half to be motivated. I'm not talking just a little motivated, i'm talking inspirational, off the wall, changing the world kind of motivated. motivated and organised.

My bm is not really like this...but I can see he has potential...but it completely turns me off to have to even push him...It just makes me think - don't you have any desire to improve yourself? If not, then I'm certainly not going to waste my time. I want someone who is self sufficient...and can survive by themselves despite anything. I want someone who will push me, by inspiring me and unintentionally encourage me by being amazing.

So, I don't want to "cut off my nose to spite my face"...But, it's interesting to see the other side of the coin...which is someone who wants to be pushed.
ahh...the dilema's of relationships!

 

DUMP THAT SORRY MOFO :lol:

 

Blacktiger,
I completely agree. I also believe it goes both ways. I have pushed/nudged/helped along, whatever you want to say, my husband to go through school, take certain jobs, making good decisions, anything that will make him a better man. At the same time when I'm down and don't think I can handle something, he says to me "what?, you can't do this? I don't think so, that ain't my wife. " Then he'll remind me of things I've gone through and how life has been at time and I'm good. All I need is a little pep talk and I'm on top of the world.

FEHG,
It sucks that you have to go through this. I used to have a man like that and I don't know what to tell you. Nothing I ever did seemed to make a change. The only thing I can suggest is give him a choice. You have to be strong and stick to yourself. I would say do these things to make it fair around here or I'm gone. Simple as that. He's making life harder for you and you don't need that. Flaminghetero is right, but I'd give him the choice first if you really love him.

 

Needless to say I'm going to disagree with this.

I've seen a few Bonnie and Clyde IR couples.

However.
I can believe that perceived social pressure can make a couple stronger and work harder to move “up” in order to get away from those that they feel are a source of trouble.
I can also believe that most IR couples meet in college so there will be [should be] a certain measure of “success” there.

Simply being of another race is not enough for me to believe.