“High heels and diarrhea really don’t mix.”

Discussion in 'Humor and Puzzles' started by samson1701, Aug 16, 2017.

  1. samson1701

    samson1701 Well-Known Member

    http://jacksontelegraph.com/2017/08...amed-after-severe-diarrhea-incident-on-stage/
    Tainted Buffet At Jackson Strip Club Blamed After Severe Diarrhea Incident On Stage

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    A popular strip club in Jackson has been closed until further notice after several dancers contracted diarrhea last Friday night. The cause of the incident, which remains under investigation, has been initially linked to a contaminated buffet at the venue. While the investigation continues, the venue has not been named.

    According to reports by local media, the strip club was nearly full on Friday night when the incident occurred, and both staff and customers were reported to have eaten from the free buffet, which included the usual selection of ribs, chicken and deep-fried shrimp.

    While the results of the lab analysis are yet to come back, one source familiar with the investigation told reporters that bad shrimp was the most likely cause of the diarrhea. “Typically shrimp are involved in cases like this, particularly when they are not cleaned thoroughly.”

    Patrons at the venue who were sitting near the stage were the most directly affected by the incident, which occurred close to 11pm. According to a witness at the venue, three dancers were performing on separate poles when the first sign of trouble emerged.

    “At first I picked up a bad smell; I thought maybe the guy next to me had farted,” said the witness, who declined to be named. “However, the smell got worse and I noticed that a lot of other guys were looking around to see what it was.”

    It was at this point that the first dancer to suffer from diarrhea was unable to control her bowels any longer, and ‘a stream of brown liquid soon gushed over the stage splashing onlookers’, according to the witness. “It was absolutely disgusting,” he told journalists. “A number of guests immediately puked. I personally ran for the exit, I lost all interest in the show.”

    The other dancers on stage also suffered from diarrhea soon after and were forced to abandon their performance. “They had a hard time getting off the stage,” said one witness, who stayed to watch the aftermath of the incident. “High heels and diarrhea really don’t mix.”

    Many of the guests who had been enjoying the show and buffet also contracted diarrhea.
     
  2. Beasty

    Beasty Well-Known Member

    Who eats at a strip club?......lol
     
  3. Bliss

    Bliss Well-Known Member

    This is a fake story. The style of writing seems similar to other satire sites and the occurance sounds too outrageous, particularly since the Club was not named.

    Looking into it, indeed fake 'News' site Border Herald made it up, citing the venue in Jacksonville.
    Jackson Telegraph, another fake 'news' site copied it and changed the 'venue' to Jackson. It's just an ad clickbait 'story'.
     
  4. samson1701

    samson1701 Well-Known Member

    Bruh, I don't know how strip clubs are in other states, but the classy ones in Michigan and Canada had great food for great prices. I'm talking real, 4 star chefs. Steak and lobster for like twenty bucks. And not that bullshit Golden Coral, buffet quality crap. I'm talking the real deal. Anything you wanted cooked fresh to order. They could charge so little for food because they made it up with the cost of drinks and dances. Neither of which I was into very much. Although, I would get an occasional dance. To me, paying for dances was too much like tricking. I'd rather just tip and leave it at that. But, I don't drink. Nothing wrong with drinking. It's just not my thing.

    It was cool to pop in every once and while. You come in with your boys, have a great meal served to you by sexy women and chop it up with your squad. If you were into sports, they had the huge projected screens of whatever the big game was on and they'd have the girls all decked out in jerseys with nothing on underneath but a thong or whatever.

    But, reading this had me cracking up. Just picturing it had me over here in tears cracking up. ...lol
     
  5. Beasty

    Beasty Well-Known Member

    4 star chefs? That's different. Strip clubs have never been my thing but for the few that I have been to, they looked nice and classy on the inside. Can't see myself eating in one tho. Perhaps they can pour me a dram or two, but I'll get my food later.
     
  6. darkcurry

    darkcurry Well-Known Member

    It sounded fake as the story went along, also I heard of customers and other non-dancers eating at the strip club, but I don't understand why a dancer would. Especially knowing you are going to be performing and moving all around the stage. That is a good way for that food to come up. lol.
     
  7. samson1701

    samson1701 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I was surprised also the first few times I went. But, it was really nice. They made smut and sleeze look very respectable. ...lol

    Let me add something; I really had no idea if there were actual 4 star chefs there or not. But, that's what they would say. And, the food was great so I never questioned it. Plus, there were a lot of auto execs in there on the regular so they made sure things were nice.

    They didn't allow jeans (unless you were cool with the owners) sweats, gym shoes or shorts.

    Of course, that was aimed at keeping the "blacks" out. Yet, there we were. ...lol
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2017
  8. samson1701

    samson1701 Well-Known Member

    Bruh ... stripper logic. Never underestimate it. ...lol
     

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