American Black Men: USA or Foreign White Women

You make excellent points here.

 

Thanks, the more I read this thread especially Rita's posts (adore you Rita this isn't a shot at you) it's very clear what a big part of the problem is. Its how we define love. Love to a lot of people its about obligations and things. Meaningless bullshit you won't think about years from now. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship will tell you the most memorable and meaningful moments had nothing to do with what they got on holidays. The moments you fell in love rarely if ever happened when someone did some shit they were obligated to do.

 

On this we will have to agree to disagree, I believe if you have done your job as parent well, your child will choose the kind of peers in their life that will keep them on the straight and narrow, not lead them astray.

Per the article, are you saying you would have attempted to continue to communicate with a woman who was essentially accusing you of vile criminal behavior before even going out on one date? For your sake I hope you would do what the guy in the article did and have nothing to do with her, otherwise you could easily find yourself in legal trouble, she mentioned that she knew the local chief of police for pete's sake, as if she were threatening some lowlife scum, not a guy who was asking her out on a date.

Communicating likes and dislikes are one thing, and very reasonable when first dating someone, but insulting assumptions and legal threats are a whole different ballgame. What are the odds that she would have been VERY offended if he spoke to her the same way? I bet they would be very high.

 

If he said something similar like "hey I don't much so don't think you're going to take advantage of me financially"
She'd be offended that he was basically calling her a gold digger with absolutely no proof. Then the barrage of insults would come afterwards lol

Also where is this culture that encourages young men to rape. Please someone point to it

 

I've heard Jamaicans (and other Caribbean natives) whose voices ranged from full-on patois to British landed gentry playing cricket and everything in between.

I don't think that's solely driven by nationality, though. I'm sure it plays some role, but I also think that you can encounter a narrower section of the foreign population than you would see abroad in their home country, i.e. if they've already made the journey/immigrated, you're probably running into more educated, artsy women than is common among the general population. Sort of like if you hang out at coffeehouses you encounter a higher proportion of that crowd than is common among the US in general.

 

From Bruce Lee: "Be ratchet, my friend. Be ratchet."

It's perfectly reasonable to be extra cautious when dealing with such things, but it would not hurt to simply learn more about their behavior and what makes them tick, albeit, for the time being, at a distance. At least from a point of understanding this person's perspective and if they seem completely out of left field, I think it would be best to discontinue conversation. Maybe I tend to operate differently, but I'm generally stuck in eccentric places, and thus, tend to be familiar with things that may seem off-the-rockers for others.

The main thing is, study human behavior, especially in this more disconnected generation.

 

Yeah me too. But apparently a dude from Northern PA is more aware than actual Caribbean people lol

 

You guys need to hug it out. Lol

 

When I was a teen and very impressionable I read in a magazine that "american girls want to get noticed; European girls want to get discovered."

This influenced me ...

 

Sounds like there's truth in that

 

The quote is be "Be water, my friend."

Or for you it might be "Be weak, my friend."

 

That is a very profound understanding. I think it summarizes exactly how it is. Thanks for your contribution.

 

You are far from an asshole! You are my intelligent, charismatic, handsome, amazing friend who deserves an abundance of happiness but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me to hear the way you speak about women. If your opinions are truly based on your experiences or those of the men in your circle, then I apologize on behalf of the awesome American WW! Fuck the shitty ones! I firmly believe this country holds the exact woman you're looking for, you just need to travel outside your immediate comfort zone a bit more.

Definitely don't think you're an ass. :freehug:

Even when I disagree with your views (which truthfully isn't often), I still love seeing your name pop up around here. :freehug:

Your generalizations get under my skin sometimes. There isn't a problem with the way "we" define love. Don't let the selfishness of some get you so jaded. Of course there are shitty, money hungry individuals, but that's not the majority where I'm from and if it IS the majority where you're from then change your surroundings. The majority of women I've ever known or encountered appreciate the small things (time, affection, attention), fuck the big expensive commercialized holiday gifts. When me and my guy started talking about marriage I stressed to him that I didn't want a fancy ring, I'd marry him with a twist tie around my finger. Every time he took me ring shopping, I'd drag my feet and try to stay in the most inexpensive part of the store. I fell in love with my engagement ring the minute he proposed, but not because of the metal it's made with or the carat weight of the stones, but because it's from him. It could have been a silver band for all I care. HE demanded "better" than that for me, not the other way around. For most adult women, it's not about the money. It's about the promise of commitment, the life we're building together. If that's not the type of women you see or hear about, I'd urge you to change your locale. I imagine it's harder to find something genuine in a place like NY, just like it would be in LA. There's a whole country outside those cities though, filled with ww who appreciate/respect/honor/protect/cater to their bm. You deserve at least that, because of the man you are. Don't let the selfishness of some cloud your judgement of the whole bunch.

I know I'm not the ww you guys are describing in your rants, but just as you can sympathize with struggles which aren't your own, I can sympathize with all the amazing American ww who are being looked over because of a few bad apples.

 

Well hot damn I'm blushing and we know that's hard as hell considering how dark I am lol.
Real talk I know you aren't like that but this conversation is about those who are. And I think a big reason you don't care about a ring is because you've been married before. You know all that glitter ain't gold for a lot of women they're still holding onto the fairytale. Outside of destination weddings I've yet to go to one where it cost under 30k and the ring wasn't at the very least 6k.
And let's be honest you say most women aren't like that but I call bs. The wedding industry wouldn't be a multi billion dollar industry if it weren't. And again birds of feather flock together so yeah you don't know women like that because they aren't in your circle. Lots of circles out there kid

 

I totally agree. We should have those kinds of days. Those sort if activities dovexist, and more people should participate.

 

It is truly amazing how you misinterpret and twist what is being said.

Its how we define love. Love to a lot of people its about obligations and things. Meaningless bullshit you won't think about years from now.
When did I ever say love is DEFINED by gifts??? I said it is so rewarding to see someone you love enjoying and appreciating a gift from you. I never said it had to be expensive or that it had to be a diamond!!

Anyone who has been in a long term relationship will tell you the most memorable and meaningful moments had nothing to do with what they got on holidays. The moments you fell in love rarely if ever happened when someone did some shit they were obligated to do.
Brian, you know I was in a long term marriage. My relationship was longer than any you have had, so please do not presume to know what my meaningful memories are. FYI, my memories consist of many things, including how he surprised me with my engagement ring during dinner when I opened my fortune cookie and my ring fell out along with the little paper inside saying "You will be happy the rest of your life if you say yes." My ring was not big and did not cost an arm and leg, but I loved it just the same. I also loved the thought and effort it took for him to give it to me that way. It was a symbol of our commitment to one another. Alan was ecstatic to see my joy over this. I also will never forget how he surprised me with a signed copy of Alonso Mourning's book, because he knew how much I loved Mourning. Again, loved the gift, but also the fact that he stood on line for 2 hours to get it for me.

The moments you fell in love rarely if ever happened when someone did some shit they were obligated to do.....Duh....Never said that either. Many times people who are already in love might enjoy exchanging gifts. I have been fortunate to know men who gave gifts as tokens, symbols of their love. It was not out of obligation.

Valentine's Day is not the only holiday designed to give gifts. What about Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparents Day, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. If you have never given gifts (does not have to be expensive) for any of these occasions, then once again, I believe you have not understood how rewarding it feels to do so.

Life is short my dear friend. It's a shame to spend your time here being bitter. If you say you're not, I will tell you that you certainly sound that way. Try seeing the glass half FILLED and appreciating being alive and able to love and celebrate that love instead of feeling like you're always being taken for a ride.

 

Boy did I hit a nerve lol
My glass is totally filled. One more time my posts aren't a direct reflection of my life just shit I see. It happens often sorry you don't see it.
I've given plenty of gifts and most have been received well the only time I hated the experience is when someone thought I should just like you said. You used that word not me.
And again why are you making this about you and your solitary experiences. You're every woman now?

 

Sorry, TDK. That was originally posted by Brian J. I thought I was actually responding to him. BTW, I don't think I'm every woman, but I think they're are many like me.

 

Lol and how many have you dated?

 

its funny , no one had a problem with the generalizations of bw. (except ches and fg)but now......?


yeah , i said it.