7 Reasons Why You Should Date a Younger Man

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/7-reasons-why-date-younger-man-193400697.html

You want to date someone who appreciates you. Someone with his shit together. Someone mature, evolved. Ready to take you seriously. The problem is, you think that person has to be older than you. But you're wrong. Just as chronological age doesn't always "cure" one of immaturity, a man can be all of these things and still be 24, 28, 30 (depending on what you consider young). You just need to give him a chance.

You've told yourself you don't really want a younger man. You use it as a reason to blow them off, pare back your options, and fuel embittered stories about how It's So Hard to Meet Good Men. But that's not a power position, and it does you no favors. Common reasons people wave off dating younger:

You don't believe that a younger man would want you. You've been taught that past a certain age, you're over the hill, undesirable. And you've swallowed it whole.

You cling to stereotypical ideas of What Young Men Are Like (aimless, noncommittal, out just for sex). Sure, some are. But these are not age-specific qualities. Beware of wielding stereotypes; they're cheap shortcuts masquerading as wisdom, and if you use them, prepare to be judged by them.

You look at younger men through an "old" lens. You project onto them your storied disappointments and memories. You think, Ugh. I'm not doing that again. As if all the young men walking around are just iterations of your old heartbreak.

You don't think a young man can appreciate you. Wrong. Couldn't be more wrong. One of my most popular posts to date is 7 Reasons Why You Should Want to Date an Older Woman. Oh, ladies loved that piece-and so did men. But men don't need convincing; you do.

You're worried about what people will think. Regardless of how sexually permissive and progressive we think we are, there's still a bit of eyebrow raising when a woman dates younger. There is a cultural stigma. I know because I've felt it myself. I just don't give a shit.

My current boyfriend is nine years younger than me; the boyfriend before that, 10 years younger. When I was 36, I had a brief, wonderful affair with a lovely 24-year-old entrepreneur I met on an airplane. And when I tell people that (if they ask or if it comes up), I either get a lilting "Reaalllly" or a "You go girl!" followed by a high five, which is kind of odd when you think about it. You would only applaud someone if she succeeded in doing something impossible or crazy, or if she got away with something she shouldn't have. And for me, dating a younger man isn't a game. I just like them.


WAIT. AM I A COUGAR?
As I approached my mid 30s, I wondered if this meant I was now a bona fide cougar. I didn't think so. The term conjures an image of a hungry, embattled woman with heavily coiffed hair, mummified in makeup, squeezed into a bedazzled top and looking to "score" a young man.

The cougar image is cartoonish at best, derived either from a culture fearful of a sexually empowered woman, or from the woman herself, who claims cougardom as a way to boost her self esteem via sex with a man many years her junior. But it didn't seem to fit my reasons for dating younger, nor is it an accurate or flattering explanation of why younger men are worth dating.

You don't need to make like Stifler's mom and prey on young 18-year-old boys. You don't even need to claim the cougar title. What you need to do is embrace the incredible sexual power you possess-and stop making excuses for why you can't.


7 REASONS TO DATE A YOUNGER MAN

1. He's bored with girls his own age.
If there's one complaint I hear from younger men-and the reason they're interested in older women, is that they're a little tired of the same old scene and games. They're very into the idea of spending time with a woman who brings a little more to the table-a whole world of experience and interests outside of his own. He's not dumb because he's 27. He's smarter than you think and would welcome a grown-up conversation, not to mention a mature relationship.

2. He thinks you're hot.
Stop it with the, "Oh but he probably wants some 21-year-old chick with perfect breasts." There will always be scores of young hot girls roaming the planet. You're wrong to think he couldn't be turned on by you. Guys aren't all looking for a girl off a billboard. Men like curves-and the women who bear them with an air of self-possession and desire. Guys like pleasing women and being enjoyed by a woman who appreciates them. You know your body, what makes it tick, and what turns it on and makes it happy. He's really, really into that.

3. He's not just out to hit it and quit it.
To say men JUST want sex, especially young men, isn't a fair assessment. They've been having sex for years, and it's not like they can't get it if they want it. They may be less inclined to marry right away or at all, perhaps, but that's not the same as not wanting a real relationship. And many desperately do.

4. He's not hung up on age; you are.
I haven't met a young man yet who said they would never date a woman older than him. Sure, some may be a little hesitant about how to handle or be with a woman's children, but it's not always a dealbreaker. But as for not liking you simply because you're whatever age you are? Nope. Quite the opposite; he's proud of it. You make him feel like the man he wants to be.

5. He's got energy and optimism to spare.
I'm not making a stamina joke here. I mean sheer energy-a bright, capable man who's in the earlier phase of his career and life can be a thrill to be around. He's not jaded by losses, failure, or the spectre of retirement. Any man who hates where he is in life and resents others for it is going to be a drag. But if he's young and he's got plans, that momentum can be inspiring. Even contagious.

6. What he lacks in money, he makes up for in resourcefulness and ambition.
If you happen to date a 25-year-old who just sold his start-up to Yahoo, then money is no issue. But for most, money is tight. My boyfriend is a musician and composer who also works a part-time job, and he doesn't have a disposable income. But he's scrappy and resourceful. So no, he's not springing for big dinners or trips to St. Bart's. But he cooks an outstanding meal. Sometimes I'll cover the check when he's in a tough spot and I'm feeling like sushi. But the idea that a man will ciphon off money is only as true as the person's character, not age. A man struggling to make it knows the value of a dollar, and that alone is far more appealing than the one who throws money at you in an attempt to impress.

7. He'll make you feel like your old self.
I don't mean "old" as in aged, but old as in best version of you. The fun, spontaneous you. Any good relationship should do this, regardless of age. And no one can make you feel old-that's on you. Let go of your inhibitions and run around a bit with an energetic 24- or 31-year-old, and what you may discover is that the world feels a little bigger, and the night a lot younger.

 

Hmmm....interesting.
Gave me something to think about.
Thanks for posting this.

 

great. I hope everyone would read and enjoy.

 

Its funny really, I've been out with older guys and younger guys, and of course its nothing to do with the age, its the GUY! Some older guys are immature ''boys'', and some younger guys are serious, thoughtful and all that other stuff we want.
But I'm at a time in my life now when I want a man to be older. I don't know, its a lot in my mind, but I want to feel I'm being taken care of, and to me, thats what older says! Yes, I know its stupid, but with the life I've led, and the ''relationships'' I've suffered through, the heart now wants what it wants.

In my first marriage, we were the same age, which was fine, then I got my head on and wanted younger men, for the whole ego boost, and yeah it was fun, and then I married a younger man, but he was a complete loony (nothing to do with his age, he just was one!), and now I've finally escaped him, I've decided to go older. Its just sexier to me. Maybe because its the opposite of him. The mind is a very strange thing sometimes. Well mine is anyway haha.

Third time lucky huh? lol

 

interesting. the whole "i want to feel taken care of."is a whole deeper convo.

 

Hm, I don't need any man to take care of me.
If I'm with a man, it's because I enjoy his company.
I want someone in my life that I can laugh with and who enjoys the same things.
Someone that I can be myself with, and not put up an act or play games with.
Someone who has similar interests and the same goals in life.

So the only reason I always looked for guys older than me, is because I expect younger guys to be into partying and chasing women whereas I expect older guys to be more willing to settle down with one woman.
But maybe that's not so much a matter of age as a matter of personality.

 

so would it seem in general the time period men we r talking about....like the 20's versus the 30's and so on. also how much younger

 

oh definitely. It mainly just comes as fall out from my last 'relationship' where I had to pretty much take care of him 24/7 and only got abuse and chaos in return lol. Just want to kick back now and have a man that actually IS a man. Again, I know that doesn't necessarily come with age, but thats just how my mind works now I'm afraid.

 

Good read.

when I first saw this thread, I thought it was merely sexual in context and a bunch of bs. I'm glad I took sone time to read through it.

I believe age is merely a number. I try to listen to my heart and observe the way a man treats me, over how old he is or what type of job he has. Yes, its nice to be swooned, wined and dined by a man w his life in order, money coming easy...but those things really are superficial to me. A man can spoil me in other ways like fixing me dinner, a bouquet of flowers, or even a love note.

I just want him to be as much into me as I am into him...the rest will flow naturally.

 

This!

 

a man knowing how to romance a woman properly must b mature and confident

 

I wish more women thought like this. As a guy who tends to like older women, it's rather unfortunate. I feel like most of the older women I find who are into younger men either have kids, are smokers, or just can't relate intellectually. Dang.

 

I wouldn't

My soon to be ex husband was ten years younger. I didn't think it would be a problem when we married but tbh it was. I often felt like his mother and I hated that.

I would date someone up to five years younger but they would have to have their shit together for want of a better way of putting it.

I like experience and confidence and sometimes younger men look to get this from an older woman, and that just makes me feel old tbh.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it if you are the right people for each other, but for me I like a man to be in charge (within reason), and I think he'd have to be older or around the same age..

 

u dont think younger men can be leaders

 

So much all of this.
When I met D I basically wrote him off as way too young. What could he possibly want with me as many years apart as we are.

But his personality is amazing and he's so not jaded and cynical. And I swears he's more appriciative of my age and curves and all the things that come from not being 21 than any older man Ive been with. He's not cocky or arrogent and he completely babies me but not in a condescending way.
I never thought I could take a younger guy seriously.
But he's so different from what I'm used to.
He's more mature and adult like than I am a lot of the time but its not that stuffy 'this is the way things are' boring kind of adult.

I'm liking it in a lot of ways.

 

love the read...lippy prefers younger! i am finding some of the older more self accomplished black men to be way too self righteous...almost boastful...as if we need to know how much they made on their last client...to me that is a turn off...

 

I joined a couple cougar dating websites last week

 

Sounds like a brother. Good work

 

sounds wonderful

 

Women should go for younger men and men should go for younger women, that will leave a particular group fucked and they are those who don't give a rat's ass about the age of the one they are attracted to