I'm always late to the party, you guys live in such different timezones. Anyways, when it comes down to dating and confidence; I think it's more of an issue in the IR dating scene for public flirting. You have so many factors working against you, it's sometimes not even worth it. For me, I typically meet women in the afternoon or late at night, easier to talk to and have a conversation whether it be a flirty one or not.
haha... I would never do a "cold call" like that. The woman would have to give me some indication first. Where I'm from, too many chicks would use that as a grand opportunity to vent their grudges by shooting you down as coldly as possible. Black men, in fact, are basically raised on that kind of thing. (Yes, I said it. Let the flaming begin...) When I was younger, sometimes women would even set you up to shoot you down. If you know what women like (generally), you can have lots of confidence in yourself - the way you present yourself, conversation, etc... however as a black man, unfortunately, you can't have all that much confidence in other people to respond to you in a rational and magnanimous way. (yeah, I know: pooor baby... :smt088 . But it's true, depending on where you are... ) Fortunately, online dating helps you get around doing "cold calls" like that. :smt023
if you got a rock hard dick in your pants instead of a wet noodle, you'll embrace the 'cold call' and assertive nature of being a man like she said..women like guys with confidence that get up and make shit happen
First off, a real "woman" would never set you up just to shoot you down. That's childish shit, and I would call her out in a heartbeat if I saw that go down. Where I'm from, bm don't seem to have any issues approaching ww. The guy that approached me in line was a bm, and last week a bm approached me at the gas station lol! Maybe they're nervous as hell on the inside, but most of the time they come off extremely confident. I think it depends on a persons previous experiences...if they've been shot down publicly a few times, I'm sure that would factor in to their confidence and they'd probably think twice before doing it again! All I'm saying is that sometimes people need to step out of their comfort zone in order to get what they truly want.
Lol I always love when women suggest stepping out of your comfort zone like they do it. I bet most(not all) of you can count on one hand the amoint of timesyou stepped outside of your comfort zone and approached a guy lol
i've been directly approached by a ww three times; at the supermarket down the street once and where i work/worked twice indirectly...i've lost count the female comfort zone is to 'look' at you like they're interested, or flirt/say vague shit that you're supposed to pick up on
haha. Sure, I bet your dick is rock hard 24/7, bodybuilder. No, no - you're not overcompensating. You're probably even smarter than your avatar looks! Anyway, being smart is a big part of being assertive. Picking your battles wisely. "Cold calls" in my opinion are stupid. No woman looks good enough to just step to and risk your dignity as described if looks is all that you know about her. Women talk that "confidence" stuff all the time, mainly because they never have to do it themselves. And when they're turned down- even gently - they're often crushed and angry about it. I'm plenty confident, because I know what women want generally, I know what they say they want generally, and I bring most of those things to the table. I'm also reasonably smart, so I go about things intelligently. If you're smart you can set up the situation where she subtly gives you the "green light", right there in the supermarket. No cold call necessary. Cold calls also put the woman on the spot, which they don't all appreciate at all times. Especially if their husband or boyfriend is just one aisle over, fetching the corn flakes they forgot. Cold calls are stupid. I guess if you're a "hound" and you just want ass, you flip a coin and don't care how it turns out. You play the numbers game. Enjoy. Takes all kinds, mr. rock hard. :lol:
You're completely right, it's definitely a double standard. Unless I have a few drinks in me, chances are I won't approach a man. However, that's why I have such respect for the men that do this. I know it's not easy, but I think it says a lot about the guy if they're confident enough to take that risk.
:smt033 sometimes it just comes down to push/pull if you give a little, they give a little or vice versa bottom line bros..just go for it expressing yourselves over the internet is a GOOD start just remember that people have gotten much more with much less to work with all you gotta do is say HI or HEY to women that interest you when you can if you go to a market or store that has a lady you like working there, ask her how she's doing the next time you're there ur confidence will build just by doing that, and you'll be more comfortable approaching ww when you realize all of them aren't stone-cold racists
Life is 50% psychological, 50% reality As such, feeling embarrassed is a "choice" and honestly, a poor one at that. You will go through periods of high's and lows, where-by dimes will throw numbers (sometimes dimes) at your disposal with no attempts on your part. But then, the low periods will also prevail. Even the best looking guys out there experience these lows (maybe w/less frequency), so its nothing to lose sleep over. Most people in public places (Malls, theaters, church w/e) will watch you for a maximum of 20 seconds and will never see (or think of ) you again in life (unless accidentally). So why give a f*ck?
