No one's talking about Steubenville?

Why are just males being blamed when it comes to perceptions? There seems to be an unaccountability towards certain women who have contributed to the confusing so-called "culture" of rape'? Many are not leading by example.

Please check why the stupid '50 Shades of Gray" (written by a woman) is so damn popular with millions of fellow women.

Note this MAN's review of it...certainly not from a woman, though women have spoken out about the book apparently "glorifying" rape.

Women are swooning over this. And you wonder why those young men you Googled get mixed-signals.

Look at porn too. Over the years it's gotten much more forceful, and women are a now big part of that viewership and purchaser of. It's also everywhere you turn online.

Not to mention that one of the most popular sexual fantasies acted upon is to be raped or rape by a sexual partner.

Hollywood Movies too perpetuate the man forcefully taking a women despite her half-assed objections. There is also a plethora of movie scenes (and real-life) where a person (male or female) drunkenly awakens from a previous night of sex and they don't remember it and wonder who the hell the person is lying next to them or instantly regret who they had sex with upon realizing 'oh no, we had sex??"
And this is lauded in both dramas and comedies.

All that has to go to eliminate the murky lines, IMO.

 

like in said so many times in this thread, women are a part of this culture.

 

But this what I presume is the rape culture they keep talking about but like you said if both media and women as a whole promote and egg this on what are the steps to eliminate it. Apparently women want aggressive sex without permission or consent. Which women are men suppose to listen to?

 

Their different women and you don't know. That is part of the problem. Big part of the problem

 

I am working my way back through this thread since I was last in it...there is a lot to read.

 

So basically it comes back to we don't know which way to turn on this topic so men take all the responsibility and just gamble with their futures. Shit maybe we should just do arranged marriages or do as the Amazons did and just mate like rabid beasts for a month straight once a year. Boy babies live with men females live with women because it really seems at times we just can't coexist.

 

Clear as mud

All I know is on this forum alone I know of 5, yes 5 women that have been raped. Out of those 5 who have opened up about their rapes, 2 have been ridiculed, 1 was called a pig and the other was asked to describe her rape. What does that say to you exactly?

 

Smh. If a black person walks to a white person and says" not all white people are racist but you can be a racist because statistics show that racism is perpetuated by whites" or if a man walks up to a woman and says" all women are not prostitutes but you can be a prostitute because statistics show most prostitutes are women" in both scenarios the people being spoken to will be angry. People can claim here that they wont but MOST will be angry at those statements. Period.

 

If you can refer me to the posts I'd love to see them because only a fucking scumbag would do some shit like that. Decent men don't ask a victim to describe their rape or call someone a pig. I'm willing to wager said men don't post here anymore

 

Statistics are statistics, they are not an opinion. If it offends you that 6% of men rape, and we don't know which six percent because most of the time when we are raped its my loved ones and friends...take it up with the rapists. YOU find a way to tell them it's not cool. Because it is NOT OK for all women to have to live in a smaller world than men do because of those rapists. Telling women to wear the right clothing, not drink, not go to parties (doesnt matter if she knows everyone there because most women know their rapist), avoid public transportation or whatever other stupid limitation people want to put on women so they can "avoid" rape is not only unfair, it's stupid. Because rape is NOT a "stranger in the bushes" problem in most cases.

How do we avoid being raped when the people who do it are our friends and loved ones? You keep skipping that question.

 

Wow. No, dude, it's us walking the streets who are taking our chances.

I have no problem co-existing with men. But there are men, and there are males.

 

Your example is extremely stupid, but yes, if someone came up to me and assumed I was a prostitute because most prostitutes are women, I would most likely laugh. Dumb ass example. Try again.
OK, your perception of your self is more important than reality. Noted- news, if your daughters view someone like you, not a rapist, never a rapist, butx still suspicious, would you not commend them, just in case? Or would you insist they trust the dudes?

 

Then avoid men altogether and travel in pairs because as much as it sucks what else can we do to make you safer?
Dudes who rape don't follow the rules to begin otherwise they wouldn't be rapist in the first place so I don't think educating them will do anything.
I also have to say I have a real problem with the word "knows" when referring to attackers that victims say they know because again it paints a picture that someone you were close with for years will all of the sudden have a bad day and go into rape mode. Under that premise why trust any male at all. Not your father, not your spouse, not your uncle, not your son, not your clergy, not your coworkers because everyone is waiting for the right circumstance to get you. How can anyone be relaxed under that kind of stress. Because like you said its not some stranger in the bush, its someone you most probably know so how on earth does any woman ever feel safe around men.

 

This is where i say you are being disingenuous. What is the difference between my scenarios and that of what Pixie said. Yet you were trying to explain Pixie's statement saying she didnt mean all men. If my examples are extremely stupid then hers was completely retarded. I would not insinuate to my daughter that ALL men except her father can be rapists because rapists are men.

 

I ask you this: are you more concerned about your own perception and reputation than you are your daughters safety? Should they trust all men because their dad is a good man and most men are good. Or will you teach them to be suspicious of all men until proven OK? Or will you just say that this suspicion is ungranted and they should just trust men because most men are good?

 

Twilight, too. Edward is extremely controlling and manipulative of Bella throughout the first 3 books. I can understand why teenage girls wouldn't see it that way, but what boggles my mind are all adult women who are gaga over this series.

Yep. There has been at least one "50 Shades of Grey" divorce due to the husband's unwillingness to act out scenes from that book with his wife.

It's sick.

 

I forgot about Twilight, throw in Vampire Diaries where the Damon character constantly does what he thinks is best for the protagonist giving her very little agency but the girls/women think its really hot. In fact his brother is Stefan is often seen as weak and boring because he's always asking her what she wants instead of doing what's "best" for her. True Blood is another example of this shit. Its rampant in mainstream culture and men aren't the ones making this shit popular.

 

Elena fights back against that, and also Damon is viewed as being bad for doing that stuff. He doesn't get away with that.

I have never watched True Blood so I can't speak of that.

 

Damn straight. As I have said all along, this is not a culture fed by men, women are r esposible also, no doubt about it. It is an extremely difficult and complex topic.most perps blame the victim, but only in rape do you see people backing up the perp. Both men ,and women.

 

Well I'm talking more to the fanfare read some youtube comments and its ALL about team Delena. Have you watched the show lately? I don't want to spoil anything for you.

Well Vampire culture in general is all about a older more worldly man coming into a young girl's life and consuming her completely dominating her. A lot of women find that shit really sexy.
Or even look at the men women revere in our culture. It's commonly the guy who has bad boy side to him that generally treats women as disposable but for some reason women in general ignore it or believe they are special enough to change him