Do nice guys finish last?

Being a 'nice' guy isn't the same as being a wimp, a punk or a pushover.

You can still be a decent guy and still know how to tell a woman NO!, or when you feel she's not respecting you the way you feel she should.

Nice guys DUMP CHICKS ALL THE TIME. Because most 'nice guys' know they're too good for the average woman and can easily replace them with one who will appreciate what they have to offer and won't fuck shit up by playing games.

Most nice guys are missed by high maintenance women after they are gone.
IMO self confident 'nice' guys have a very low tolerance for bullshit from women. These dudes expect their women to be on 'their level' emotionally and in terms of maturity.

If not the relationship is just too much stress and a nice guy will say;'sorry hon but I just don't think I'm what you're looking for. Have a nice life.':toimonster:

 

Brilliant way to turn it around. I wish you had been my adviser during my breakup. Lol.

 

Ha ha. Nice guys get kicked around because they're slow to learn that the way to success is what you see above. Good insight there.

If you're a nice guy, best thing you can do for yourself is have high standards and remember that when it comes to women, water definitely seeks its own level. Gotta be quick to give them the boot at the first sign of red flags (especially red flags you've seen before), and move on.

Not-so-nice guys are selfish by nature so they have fewer problems. They appeal to those women who think that the more something costs, the more it's worth.

At the extreme end are the sociopathic charmers who have no trouble with women at all, much in the way that all of us have a lot of confidence and easy with women when we really don't care how it goes. Women respond to that easy charm.

 

It depends on what you're looking for. That bad boy shit might work on very young women and/or get you laid, but a real grown ass woman who knows who she is thinks of bad boys as toys. We might fuck you if we are bored, but we aren't going to open up to you.

There is also the "nice guy" who isn't. He is the guy who bitches about how he is a good friend and gets "friend zoned." The truth is that for him, being a nice guy is a means to an end. He isn't nice because he is nice, he is nice because he thinks if he puts X amount of nice in those pussy dispensers owe him something. He isn't a nice guy, he is the same as the bad boy - he is using a tactic to get into your pants.

A really nice man, who is charming and funny and warm and confident in himself, who is nice to people because that's who he is....he never finishes last with real women. He is the one we want for more than a passing lay.

 

Being "nice" is not what most people think it is. I am not a "nice guy." I am however "kind." There is a difference, which is that being nice has to do with being a people pleaser, and doing/saying things that make people feel good. When someone says so and so is "nice," they mean that this person behaves in a way that offers their emotions comfort, which is at the expense of the nice persons feelings. A nice person makes others happy over their own happiness. The problem with this as a man dealing with women, is that it IS in fact a weakness, and women are right on for recognizing it. A nice guy does not possess the traits of someone who behaves how they see fit in opposition to the masses of the world, a LEADER possess these traits and that IS what a woman wants in a man. You don't have to be a jerk to be a leader either, although many may view you as a jerk because you are not easily manipulated or moved in a way that puts the importance of pleasing them over your own ambitions, which is the problem with being "nice." BACKBONE....

 

Agreed. Just another spin on it. Because terms like 'nice' and 'kind' are so interchangeable, the definitions sometimes get lost in conversation.

But everyone understands the difference between a man who's passive and has an poorly defined self-image compared to a self-confident, emotionally grounded person who still doesn't go out of their way to hurt other people.

When a woman thinks a guy is 'too nice', I think she means he's trying too hard to make her happy at the expense of what HE wants in a relationship.

 

Agreed ^

 

Pretty much.

 

a simp

 

To a bad boy, the play is all he wanted from the relationship to begin with so... I think the good guy lost out in that.

 

Yeah but when a 'good dude' sees a girl he wants get played like a ho' by a bad boy, many times he will lose interest because he no longer respects the female.
Unless he thinks he can slip in and get a piece before walking out too.

 

I never understand why so many women seem to want to go for ''bad boys''. I mean, in my opinion (totally just how I feel, generally speaking, not commenting on particular people or anything), those women don't want anything long-standing in the first place.
And of course, there are as many bad girls as bad boys!

Anyway, I've had my fill of bad boys, and never chose them because of that. I have always craved a nice guy, and like has probably been mentioned before, that doesn't mean a wimp, or a pushover, or someone you can walk all over and take advantage of.

A nice guy to me is someone who takes care of you, genuinely cares about you, would never choose to do anything to hurt you, loves you for who you are, respects you etc. I don't need to be showered with gifts and find him serenading me below my bedroom window lol.
But a nice guy, like a nice girl, needs to be with someone who appreciates all of that, or its just never going to get them anywhere x

 

LMAO @ "tryin to get off crack..."

 

IMO nice guys usually do finish last, but it's not because women don't want them...it's because most nice guys (that I've known) don't speak up and approach the women they want to pursue. Bad boys approach every single woman, in the hopes that a few will fall for their lines. Nice guys seem to sit back and wait to see what falls in their laps. Women love nice guys, most women want a nice guy, but we need someone who isn't too shy to approach us!

 

How long you been out of the dating game boo lol.
I think the issue for most nice guys is partially what you said, not having the courage to approach women but also never getting the signals to do so. Its not all on men to have courage its also about the signals you women send out. Eye contact, flipping your hair, or trying to be in our proximity. Its what girls do when they're interested but thats usually based on visual markers and nicer men don't tend to dress or act in such a way that they stand out either.
What I've noticed to be the biggest obstacle for men is years upon years of mixed signals, I've learned the worst advice you can get about getting women is from other women. How is someone who barely knows what she wants going to advise you on what others might want (most not all ladies).
Women tend to be torn between what they find immediately sexy desperately hoping that they can turn it into a long term situation rather than truly seeking out dudes who truly match their criteria. Like flashy good looking men out at the club aren't looking to settle down, men who have recently been divorced or just broke up with someone usually don't want to settle down right away, and most importantly a dude who hasn't had a long term relationship in the last five years (save for military service or a comma, possibly graduate school) isn't ready to settle down, those are the type of men who love to play.

 

true, women do tend to give the worst advice on getting women. BUT women make great "wingmen". Once I was out of my "bad guy" stage (i just cant do it anymore) I had to start going out with my attractive lady friends and that works just as much. I think they assume youre a bad guy cuz A) youre with a attractive woman and B) youre still flirting

One thing Ive learned is women beget women. Matter of fact Ima make a thread about it.

 

lol that shit only works if you're a guy they would have been interested in in the first place. Having Mila Kunis on his arm isn't going to make Craig Mack or Shabba Ranks hotter to women

 

Yea, I've been out of the dating game for a minute lol! However, I've seen many nice-guy friends get passed over and it's always because they lack the balls to speak up. Bad boy swoops in and gets the girl.

Women do give signals, but nice guys are usually too busy getting friend-zoned to act on them. I've seen it many times!

 

No woman puts a man in the friend zone if she's truly attracted to him, that shit is saved for the guys they like getting attention from but don't want to fuck. My girl schooled me the other day, men may hunt but women set traps and that shit is so real lol

 

I would like to think youre right, and I hope so... But from personal experience when I already have a girl with me, its easier to get more. Could be that they may be apprehensive, but once they see that I'm down with WW they lose the nervousness about it. And I like to think I'm more handsome than Shabba Ranks and Craig Mack, by a long shot. But you never know what goes on in peoples minds.

Once I took my buddy with me to a girl I was seeing's apt to kick it. And her room mate said she didnt even find brothaz attractive except for Usher, Taye Diggs, and my homie... I'm like "this ol Tiger Woods lookin mofo?" :smt043

Thats when i knew attractiveness is arbitrary
I dont know...