How honest should you be when just dating?

Okay, so a well meaning friend created a dating profile for me and I started getting hits. I went out with a very nice man Friday. I thought is was a diasaster. Long story short, he lives about 45 minutes from me. I had early dinner plans with my best girlfriend at 6:30 Friday night. She coaches field hockey and had an 8AM game. She lives where he does and my friend and I agreed to meet at a sports bar we frequent that is halfway. He asked me what I was doing that evening, and since my friend had said she had to leave early due to her game, I agreed to him meeting me at the restuarant/bar for a night cap.

Well, my friend met a guy there and got trashed and could not drive, so my date said we had to drive her home(which I would have done anyhow). So I took her keys, he put her in the car, and followed me in his vechile to her house. he carried her up 3 flights of stairs and was so sweet. We drove back to the restuarant in his car and had a nightcap and talked and got along well. I thought his behavior was nice and invited him to dinner at my place tonight. He came over and we had a nice time, and he left about 9:30. We agreed to another date Sunday.

In the meantime, another guy is hitting me up, who is also nice and sucessful. We talked on the phone about my date left and he wants to arrange a date. I agreed. He asked if I was dating anyone else. I told him that I had gone on a date earlier in the evening as he was put off. He said that he prefers to focus on one person at a time. I replied that I am use to serial relationships and that I am getting to know people and want to see who I am the most compatible with.

My question is : "Was I wrong to be honest?" I made it clear that I want to take things slowly, not get intimate, and get to know people and not jump in. I mean should I lie and say that each person is the ONLY one? I personally would rather know the truth.

 

Just right.

It lets him know if that isn't what he is looking for.
Time to hit the road!

 

So you are in my corner that honesty is the best policy?

 

yes.

You saved time for both him and you.

 

thank you . both my brother and best friend said that until a commitment to be exclusive is made who cares? I feel that a direct question deserves an honest answer.

 

Agreed, better to be honest. If you reach the point where you have to decide between #1 and #2 and they don't know you're seeing others, the "I'm officially dating someone else now" conversation would likely be awkward.

 

Good for you for not falling for that lame ass game.

 

I definitely feel like you handled yourself well. I agree, honesty is best, and there's absolutely nothing wrong w dating more than one person and taking things at your own pace. If they don't like it, they have the option to leave. Good luck!

The first guy sounds very sweet...too bad about the bum start first date.

 

I think if you want to attract a person who also values honesty you did the best thing. It's quite tempting to forsake principle for an immediate advantage, but I think what you did, if this were the norm, would save a lot of people a lot unnecessary tug-of-wars.
As a guy, I'd much rather hear this upfront, as you did - even if it made me momentarily feel uneasy. At least there would be no illusion or pretence. Inevitably this would out at some point in the future, it could not continue without mention indefinitely. Even if you managed to keep it from him, when he'd eventually figure it out or hear about it, he'd think you were two-timing him.

Modern times call for modern attitudes - so what's good for goose is good for gander. Understandably some guys are not quite there yet and get mad - but they'll arrive soon - just don't get caught up waiting.