WW have WM you dated ever reacted to u dating interracially?

[quote="Wonderwoman
I completely feel what you are saying here. All the more power to you for dating your man....he is lucky to have you.[/quote]

Thanks Wonderwoman!

 

Dancer when you mean "their" are you referring to the "BW" that responded? Or to "WW", interpretation of you dating IR (which was my original question?

I am asking in all sincerity as the original question kinda got completely lost.
When I made the comment that WW did not respond I referring to the original question in the thread.....which was, me as a WW asking other WW if WM had reacted to them dated IR, (pretty much a given, but you never assume anything)....but more importantly how are you as a WW interpreting that raction from WM. The original question in the thread had no referrence to BW, what-so -ever.

I just have a feeling that you thought I was asking you to defend the BW, WW thing,...nope not at all.

Then again,..you may have been referring to the original thread, that it was nonsense and not worth commenting on,..which if that is the case, I respect that opinion.

 

I'm sure she'll respond, but I believe she's referring to BW. Many threads have been deleted so Dancer might not have any idea about what was spewed on this site by WW and BM unless she lurked for a long time. While she talks about built up hostilities and insecurities...I sense her own hostilities are bubbling to the surface from the tone I'm picking up. Wonderwoman, while you might not participate in bashing...perhaps you've seen it in action. I believe you'll soon understand why I said the onus is always on blacks...but whites are always correct.

 

Lexington....I prefer to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Its amazing how wrongly a person is interpreted until they are given a chance to clarify themself. I am sure you can agree with that statment.

 

ok...obviously i misunderstood this whole thread! oops!
to answer your question- yes, when i tell wm i date ir, their reactions are let's just say, TYPICAL! i just learned, that when a wm asks me if i date ir, to respond like i would if he were to ask me if i like to go to the movies...with a simple "yes". because i used to get into it with them, and say, "why do you ask? why does it matter?". their answers were of no substance, so i just learned to say "yes", and move on. it gives them no room to make any negative statements. i can actually say that every wm i "talk" to, or have had any sort of interest in, really takes it personal when i say i date ir. especially the guys i've know for a long time. they even give me a hard time about it. but you know what, i have just learned to distance myself from those people...because it's not only that they are being racist, but it just makes me believe i am surrounding myself with ignorant, shallow people, and i'd rather not be around them anyways.

yes, my original reply was in reference to the ww/bw deal. i guess i just get annoyed when i read all these women arguing over who deals more with racism when dating ir. WHO FREAKIN CARES! do the math... either way, bw/wm or ww/bm, it's still 50/50. plus, i thought this website was to promote ir dating, no matter which way it is. and to have bw say "oh, we struggle more", just gets old. we're not trying to have pity parties...right? if anything, us, being strong, beautiful, intelligent WOMEN, should come together, and relate to one another on what it's like to date ir. i guarentee there are more similarities than difference. and, with the differences that there are, we should learn from them, not belittle the issues we each face!

as for my own built up hostilities...where's your proof on that? i'd like to see it. and as for the comment "whites are always correct"... hahahaha, if you say so :wink:

 

Dancer thankyou for coming back and replying...so if you allow me to paraphrase,...
To WM you are honest about your IR but dont engage in any conversation about it other than a simple "yes",..because whats the sense in arguing with people with narrow minds, they remain narrow no matter what. I like yourself distanced myself from some WM and in a large part it made me date interacially more because of the "reactions"...made it hard to find a WM that didnt react.

Some white woman I know that dated IR and had Wm react did not even see it as racism towards them. So to think we all react the same way is an oversite. Few WW in North america have had to deal with racism until we have dated interracially. I mean look at the garbage on here over the past few days,...I wont fall into it, but nonetheless its there. Hatred can be very distructive.

I felt everything Personofcolor said to me was with respect to both races on a whole. She engaged with me in a conversation about the topic and gave her persepctive as a black woman, as I was giving mine as a white woman,..nothing malicous went on betweem us, and I think we understood each other. I like her character for what she has written on this board so far.

Lexington,.... has not stepped on my toes, as I have not stepped on hers....but we are dancing pretty close...huh Lexy :wink:
Nonetheless if you listen and the speaker feels that you have heard them, next time they dont have speak so loud to be heard. If you ignore them they just turn up the volume.

As for a dating site?,...really?....How come nobody made a pass at me,..now I am really pissed!!!!!!!!

 

Re: WW have WM you dated ever reacted to u dating interracia

I date both white and black men. I'm always up front about it because it seems it IS an issue with most white guys. Some are curious and want to know WHY I dated a BM. Others view me as trashy and that's the end of that.

What I've noticed is that it's the older men in their 30's I've dated (I'm 22) that seem to have more of an issue with it then the younger guys. And it's not like they're all negative towards it, it's just that they seem very interested in why I started dating black men. Is it the size? Is it their attitude? What? The older guys always want to know...

One WM I went out with was fascinated by the fact that I dated black men and wanted me to talk about my sexual encounters with them. That was a little weird and needless to say, we didn't last long. When I broke it off, he even offered to let me sleep with black men if I would still go out with him. Yeah, he definetely had a fetish...

I don't think it's changed who I date. I still get stares, maybe cause I'm blonde too, but what can you do? If you like someone, you shouldn't let other people discourage you from going out with that person no matter what they say.

 

Ah very good observation,....older WM that you have dated having a different reaction than younger WM.... I find the younger men are open to alot more things,... sign of the times.


That one WM,..well have you ever heard of the term "cockhold",..not sure if that is how you spell it,..anyway,...your right, fetish, bordering on kink.

Glad you are doing your thing and enjoying it.

 

It's cuckold.

 

Thanks Sardonic.....I knew I didnt have that one right,..I am certainly laughing at myself over that one. geesh

 

Meh, it's no big deal. I'm sure everyone understood what you meant anyway. 8)

 

The reaction from the people I care about, towards my dating black men, is mainly, or rather almost exclusively positive. I did get some stupid comments however, related to the size of the private parts of a black person, which just proves to show the typical insecurities of men in that respect (i.e.: is mine too small? or just about right?, how do I compare to other guys? etc). When I did explain, that this was the last thing that mattered to me, it put them at ease a little, although I was not able to destroy the myth that WW date BM for that reason only.

Maybe I am lucky, but the only man that ever gave/gives me serious grief over it is my dear Granddad. But then again, Grandpa also has a problem with guys wearing long hair, women wearing short skirts and not cooking for their husbands anymore...etc. I guess in his case it's a generation thing.

I've heard some spiteful comments a couple of times, from a bunch of youths when I passed by with my boyfriend, but that doesn't hurt, nor make me angry. I just tend to think 'You guys are ignorant and stupid, and I am glad I'm not!' Also I think to myself 'If you looked after yourself a lil more, and would get a job and were able to hold a proper conversation, maybe even you could find a decent girl that would make you happy, and wouldn't have to get jealous over someone elses happiness!)

I know an area in South London, which is predominantly white, where it can be quite dangerous to walk around as a BM/WW couple, but just next to it is an area which is predominantly black where it is equally dangerous for a WM/BW couple. The only people though, who would attack you there, are those, who do not have much else to do with themselves (white and black, and the likes of YOUFREAKS). My guess is that if they found something they'd really like to do with their lives and would find their way into a university or college to broaden their mind and their knowledge a bit, they would soon find out that there are far more important things to get angry over... such as politics, social injustices, unequal wealth distribution and so on and so forth.

Alright, Fyre, enuff of the preaching...let them get on with it!

 

I have had several different reactions. Most of the time I chalk it up to insecurity. I have never dated a guy JUST because he was a BM or a WM. I have met a lot of judgemental and racist guys who dismiss a WW once they find out she has been involved in IR. The good thing about that is that you don't waste your time on an insecure little boy who often lets society form his opinions for him.....

 

interesting topic

I dated Black men when I was in high school and the reaction was swift and certain when my Irish Catholic family caught wind of it. I got my ass kicked by my older brother -- with the tacit approval of my mother. I stopped dating IR out of fear and eventually married a nice safe acceptable white boy. But that tingle in my tummy just never was replaced. Now, fully grown, I've returned to my roots, so to speak. I date Black men, having reached an accord on it with my husband. He knows his acceptance is the only way we'll stay married. And with two kids we're not looking to break up the home.
But now I revel in the looks and occasional comments I get when I'm seen with a Black King. I don't go out in public within distance of where we live. But I do make it a point to lord open affection on my Black men when I'm out in public with them, especially when we travel in to NYC. Revenge is so sweet.

 

yep been there!

Now dont laugh! Please! LOL :lol: When Hootie and the blowfish first became popular I didnt know he was a BM singing, and when I found out I think my infacutation with the group grew even more, as I have always had a secret attraction to BM.

Did he have a reaction to your interracial dating?

My husband at the time asked me if I had ever been with a BM and I being the smart@$$ I am, siad yes, he was absolutely mortified!

If so how did you respond to his reaction?

I was shocked, discusted, and appauled. To save face I started laughing and he still had the look of not knowing whether or not I was telling the truth LOL I did ask him what the difference was and he wouldnt answer me, I think it's all an insecurity issue with them honestly Im not sure.

Lastly, did it have any impact on you dating interracially?

NOPE Im here aren't I? If anything I have choosen to persue Men of color even more so. I dated a latino/hispanic/white guy for the last three years and honestly I can't think of myself ever going back to the white boys!

 

Humanity

The reality is that like dancer44 said- we have more to learn from each other and give to one another than anything. we as a People just have to realize that. There are differences when it comes to culture and people
all around the world but the beauty of the world and its people
lies in those differences. Some times the difference is great and sometimes there is more similarity than we know- take the time to learn. Beauty was given to each culture, each "people"
in a different form. It is up to us to see it- and those who don't are ignorant. From WM/WW, BM/BW, asians, arabs, indians, native americans, hawaiian- you get where i am going- each of us and our people our culture are beautiful. ther is NO such thing as a "Superb" race- but the world and its people has made it this way. we are all queens and kings!! those of us that recognize and appreciate the spirit within us!!!people that want to label women that date outside their race as damaged goods are complete IDIOTS-FOOLS! and i am not discussing insecurities because we all have them- DON'T LIE!!!
I am arab/white- and would like to break the stereotype of arab men. They are not ALL bad men. my father is an amazing man- king - who treats my mother like the queen that she is with the utmost respect. I have spent a hell of a lot of time in the Middle East and understand my roots and believe me my father is not THE ONLY good one. Don't get me wrong there are bad ones- but DOESN'T EVERY RACE/ETHNICITY HAVE THEIR BAD ONES. one or sum does not speak for all and DONT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON TV !!!!

 

<would like to break the stereotype of arab men. They are not ALL bad men.>

I would love the day this stereotype is buirred forever! My exboyfriend had the worst view of arab men, we faught tooth and nail over it, and honestly it chizzled away at my respect for him right next to the swift smack upside the head he gave me that made me walk out the door!

You make perfect sense there felion! Your father sounds wonderful! You got any brothers ? I have always believed we are a product of our parents! If your father is that wonderful hummmm could imagine what your brothers would be like

 

LOL

Ya!! but he is still young blood

 

Arab men hate BM and even disown and mame their own daughters for so much as looking at BM..

Yet they cetainly don't mind kicking it with BW..

FUCK THOSE RACIST ANTI-BLACK MOFOS

Even to this day they are raping and murdering their way thru Africa..Look at what's happening in the Sudan..

Arab men don't have shit good to say about Brothers..

 

True word. Nobody respects the black man. Everybody (enthic group) thinks their better than us.