Standards

Nail, head.

Nice "Wall Street" quote...LOL

 

Nope, I'm so not kidding. It's a phenomenon that has confused me forever. It's not just here that I've noticed it, either. In WV, where I grew up, in high school all the basketball players dated the short girls. The few girls who were my height either had short boyfriends, or boyfriends around the same height. Except for the 1 tall cheerleader. She refused to date short guys. *L*

I love heels, which is why it always made me uncomfortable walking around with my ex. He's only 5'5. *L* I like being tall, though, and I've got nice legs, so of course I'm going to wear my heels as often as possible! It's gotten to the point where I hate wearing sneakers now! *L*

 

Police, Military, Fire

Well I do want to add that there is nothing wrong with pursuing a
career nor education in the Police realm.....

I think I do rather well in this field although I am educated, but there are alot that I know who do choose this field and come right from highschool with no street smarts....but they learn real quick.....

I don't think I am better than anyone....and I can still be a sexy women even in uniform and not be mistaken for a dike!

I excel in this area but that comes from me and my goals from within me...that doesnt mean I wont date anyone that doesnt do what I do or chooses to work in a different field, all I know is that....

I will never find a honey where I make the money......

 

Well..

Prefer: Smart, not necessarily university educated. Met some of the the most book smart people at University, but my god were they boring! So someone who knows a bit about most things will do me just fine... which brings me to my next point.

Good conversational skills...have your own opinions...

Witty, think everyone looks for that....

Mrs independent, love that! Must have some kind of ambition, doesn’t matter what, but must be striving for a goal. No sitting on the couch and eating potato chips all day...

This one isn’t of major importance, but I think it makes for a better relationship, if we don’t work in the same field.

On the superficial front:I prefer curvier girls..You know a bit of an ass, not ghetto booty though, breasts...basically the standard package most black men like.

oh..and if you look like Kim Kardishan, might just have to ignore some of the above preferences.

 

Late night, ...

I wish I had a salsa dancing partner like you.
Most of the women there were like 5'3'' and under and very few of them were heels or dress feminine for the record. It was so awkward dancing with them that I felt like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's hard to learn salsa when you're struggling to maintain your posture because you're so much taller than them.

Oh well. The faster I get better, the sooner I get to dance with women closer to my height.

 

You seem a lot more feminine ...

than most women I've see in my city lately.

Another thing a man finds attractive is confidence. No matter what her colour, height or size, all women have assets that at least 1 man will prize. There's no reason why a taller woman shouldn't use hers to her advantage, especially if it's long, lovely legs.

 

Similar preferences to Swazi. Just the usual:

- Intelligent- a must. Creative, a bonus.

- Witty- absolutely. Sharp, vicious sense of humour (humor for you Americans huh?)is good.

- Able to make decisions and 'own' them.

- Easy going. Just because you can make decisions as above, doesn't mean you can't go with the flow when what happens isn't so important. My job is high pressure and I don't want high pressure at home, too.

- Passion, passion, passion. Between us, but not just that. He must have passion for something- whatever it is. Just some type of goal in life.

- Handsome, or at least attractive to me. I'm flexible, but I seem to gravitate more towards the longish haired types of all varieties- white, black, whatever. Not sure why. My beau has long dreadlocks that he keeps very well.

- He doesn't need to be taller than me particularly (not likely to be shorter though since I'm not particularly tall) but if he is a little shorter he shoulnd't be bothered by me in my sky high stilettos!

- Curious about the world, willing to travel.

Hmm, not asking for much, am I? :smt043

 

my standards have been challenged of late...be careful how you define what deal breakers are in your life...in the last three weeks i have been told by every male friend i have..."you sure know how to pick them"

my standards as of today: (not to be confused with yesterday)

job - just have one and be able to pay your own bills and support your kids if you have them...white collar or blue collar

character - be someone that i can be proud to be seen with

honest - the truth will set you free

sense of humor - let's not sweat the small stuff

compassion - for all living things

compatible - what's the point if we don't go together

attractive - be my attractiveness equal...who cares what anyone else thinks as long as we are crazy about each other

creative - let's stir things up together

drive/ambition - goals/strategy

be a dreamer but don't check out of the real world

expectations need checks/balance to make sure we are on the same playing field...no fair changing the game /rules without notifying the other player

educated - at least a ged...school of life men tell great stories

 

Tall women like tall men but don't mind short men.

Short women like tall men.

Tall men like short women until they start having back problems.

Short men like women.

I don't think I've ever seriously considered (or gone out with) a woman that was smaller than I was. Maybe a little shorter or a few pounds lighter but never shorter AND thinner. Dunno why....



As for standards...

Intelligence-smart enough to where I can learn things (book smarts and street smarts) from you.

Charisma- overly attractive women often don't develop this aspect...good looking women can be nice and friendly but not always engaging...and often times seem distant....that's a generalization but it's what I've seen.

Humor - make me laugh...I'm a goofball as some of y'all know....I need a fellow goofball by my side. When it's time to work..I'm as serious as a quadruple bypass but when it's time to relax...I'm downright weird.

Honesty- I'll be truthful with you and always direct...be the same with me..let us always air out any differences

Appearance- I'm not real particular about this...if you are a good person who tries to take care of themselves (no need to be a size 2, 4 or 6...not a size king when it comes to the ladies) and watch their health...I'm good. I tend to be attracted to good women that are attracted to me. Very simple.

 

Ain't that the goddamn truf.

 

same here. No Kids and no ignorant liberals

 

The dealbreakers of doooom:

1. Equality. Not trying to be the manly man, but acting like a human being. If you don't believe that females have arm muscles and can open their own door occasionaly, you are out. A little bit old school stuff is ok, but too much and you send my running.

2. No homophobes or xenophobes. Or just prejudice in general.. If you say stuff like "soo, how do two girls have sex, I mean, who is the man?" you can go say it to someone else. I'm open bisexual since many years now and if a man can't understand that this is my sexuality and not something to either surpress or use when he wants a threesome, then buh-bye. Xenophobes.. well. Do I need to say more? I'm not listening to: "You know, all the gambians, they dance disco, leave the wife at home" or "you swedish people are all so cold" or "Muslims, you know they.. ". I can take it as a joke, but if you really believe in it.. you are the joke.

3. Be a good conversationalist (in swedish or english doesn't matter). I am. But I don't want to hold a monolouge

4. No kids. I'm not ready to be an extra parent. I'm not sure I even want kids. I don't even like them that much... *bad person*

5. Be modern. In terms of sex: I don't mind sex on the first date at all. If you think that sex is something I should keep from you like some sort of price... It's my body, and it's not for you to take. I have my own sexuality and you have to fully understand what that means. If you want a virgin who is saving herself for the right one, your view of the female body is.. in my eyes... euuuh. BAD.

6. Have a good taste in music and movies.. With other words if you like action movies and listens to the radio. Argh, go away.

7. Smoke. I do, like a chimney at times when I get nervous. Don't go all moral on me.

8. Drink. Goddamnit! I've dated waay too many anti-drinkers, it's horrible! It's boring! Or at least be a party animal anyway. I like to go out and dance 'til the break of dawn, I don't want a man who at eleven wants to go home.

9. Dance. I do it all the time, and I'd like your company, plz.

... and the usual, no drugheads, no alcoholics, no wifebeaters, no idiots...

phew, that was a long list. Im starting to understand why I'm single.

 

My standards? His eyes must light up when he looks at me. He must still be able to love me unconditionally without too much taint on his soul. He must be admirable (any number of qualities can apply). And we should be at the same stage in our lives.

Things that generally turn me off: elitism, classism, racism, fundamentalism, and sexism.

 

I second that. I don't even have a GED, I dropped out of highschool before I was half way through the 10th grade. However, I did go to get my GED (but didn't finish because I moved to a different town with my mom when she was diagnosed with cancer, to help take care of her) but when I took the pretests to find out where I was and what I needed to study. My grade level was extremely high. Levels higher than the last grade I attended. At the same time I was doing a college course through the mail, and passed all those exams, and have a degree on the subject with honors. My grades were an equal number of 100% and 95%. I never missed more than one question on an exam. All I have to do is read books I can get from any number of places. Anyone can self-educate themselves. All you have to know how to do is read and have common sense and a thirst for knowledge. The way I feel, as far as what I want to do and accomplish, college is an unnecessary waste of money. My cousin went to college years ago and she still can't find a job and I've met a lot of others suffering the same dilemma. Meanwhile, I'm learning and doing everything I need to in order to build my own business one day and I am well on my way. :smt038

 

You know, I don't even know that I do have standards, besides the obvious ones (I don't want a man who's going to use or abuse me in any way, shape, or form). But it doesn't have to do with what music they listen to, their scholastic achievements or lack thereof, or how they feel comfortable dressing, etc. Nothing so superficial or changeable as that. I usually find a way to love or become accustomed to anything. To cherish anything about someone that makes them unique. Nothing really stops me from giving a potential partner a chance. First impressions aren't always the most accurate. I think it takes time to get to know someone, and even more time after that. My only standard I think would be how he makes me feel inside, and his vibes and such.

 

Why does he send you running? Let him spoil you girl, he enjoys it!

So belief in any kind of a true Standard, would be taboo?

This I could agree with!

Thank God, you've got this standard, You definitely got that one right.

So in your opinion what is the girl who prefers to "save herself"!

Hard to find a man who doesn't like action movies!

If he loves you he might just care about your health, it may not be a moral issue at all.

This will only last so long, I hope your guy doesn't keep it up when you are to tired to.

Good one, I don't disagree on everything!:wink:

Now, that's a contradiction to the rest of your post.

Actually, I'm surprised you're single, there are many, loosers who will fit most of your description, and you are welcome to them, I don't know many women who would want them.:vom:It takes all Kinds!

I do respect your opinions though, More Power to you girl, Be careful what you ask for you may just get it. :smt043:smt096:smt043

 

Top dealbreakers:

1. Kids. I've done it in the past, but I've grown tired of being second. I do however believe that if a woman has children very well should make them her first priority. Any woman that puts a man before her children is trifling so I'd rather deal with a woman who has no kids. And another thing, I've had to fuck up more than my fair share of jealous baby daddies. I don't need that drama in my life anymore.

2. Bible thumpers. I respect your beliefs so respect mine. I've broken up with too many women for trying to drag me to church and/or trying to preach to me.

3. Bisexuality. Millions of men think that 2 women lickin' and lappin' all over each other is sexy, but I am not one of them. There's enough competition with men, I don't want to have to compete with another woman. And besides most bi women want their cake and eat it too.

 

Hmm.
I'm not sure I can give you a proper answer on what you just said without upsetting people quite a lot.
Lets just say it like it is. I'm not from the states, that means that I am waaay less traditional then most people here. We don't even have a dating system, so all the etiquette of dating I've learned from movies. It's not something we practice. I've never been asked out to dinner or been "taken" to the movies accept for in long term relationships. But not on a date. If someone would it'd look a bit weird. So thats where I'm coming from.
I also realize this is the completely wrong forum for me, since I'm a queer feminist. I figured I'd join anyway because sometimes you find nice people anyway, even if it isn't a match all the way, and I figured I tone it down.

The description of dealbreakers WAS toned down. scary, huh?

So, here we go, I'm giving it a try:
I don't want to feel less capable of paying, opening doors, pulling out chairs or anything else. Also, the more the guy tries to "spoil" me, I feel like I owe him something. And that doesn't feel right.
And, I never talked to a man who likes having to pay for everything, or likes spoiling a woman.. it's just part of the game (those traditional spoil-stuff happens here too, not as much anymore, but it happens.)

Believing in true standards, I'm not sure I'm getting you right here, I just dislike judging people for reasons like skincolor, sexual orientation and heritage. I don't like people judging me for it, and I don't want to judge others like that.. I probably do it from time to time, but its nothing I'm proud of. Whats wrong with that?
(Because I'm begging that you aren't implying that there is something morally wrong with homosexuality or bisexuality..?)

I'm not ready to be a parent. I know that. The fact that I expect my partner to be politically aware and a good person is NOT the reason for that.

My view on a girl who is saving herself: She is letting herself be fooled by a sexist society. Or rather, she has a traditionalistic view of moral standards, in whitch I don't believe and I think that the upholding of a language structure that implies what she does as better then the other options is strengthening the patriarchal hierarchy within the monogamous culture paradigm, and also strengthening the power structure of a traditionalist society whitch isn't welcoming for most humans and creates prejudice, hate and values that are impossible to combine with a modern human society knowing what we know of underlying behavioral structures and what they are coming from.
Thats my view. And, no, I'm not the only one.

And well, I didn't mean that he shouldn't like action movies, it just shouldn't be the first preference. I just like some intellectual stimuli, and an intellect isn't buildt with the help of car chases and bombs.

Interesting that you think that modern men with an open mind are idiots. And also interesting to see that you think I shouldn't be single because there are so many loosers that fits the description.
Maybe it's a language thing? I always thought loser ment traditionalist scumbag man with no insight in feminism. You know, one of the guys who got stuck in the beginning of the last century. But seems I was wrong.
And if I am, it's not the men that are losers that fits my description. It's me. And all other women who doesn't fit the old traditionalist view. fair enough.

 

Good reason not to like it up to the point "bi women want their cake and eat it too". Being bi, I here that all the time, ALL the time. And knowing quite a few other bisexual woman, we can all agree on one thing: You are wrong.
Why is it ok to say that about sexual minorities.. just switch bi woman to japaneese, jews or polish or whatever, can't you see it's equal to racism? :smt085

 

A lot of men have the wrong idea about being bisexual. I've been called everything from a whore to a straight up lesbian because I don't hide that I'm also attracted to women. I had a long argument with a friend of mine who didn't believe women could ever be bisexual...he said that you can only be gay, or straight, and if you think you like both then you're only going to do a chick when you're drunk in order to show off for guys. He's an idiot, as I'm sure you can tell.

Haven't you noticed? It's ok to talk about anything or any group of people as long as it's not you yourself. Those are the categories that are taboo. Everything else is fair game to be ridiculed.