Yeah, I feel ya. My position now is... no one gets to decide whom I can be friends with and date. Funny thing is I can remember catching it from BW about other BW (one was very light-skinned and the other had very long hair) and Latino women I was dating. Sorry that you're having to experience this ridiculous behavior.

 

I don’t get the dirty looks anymore (that I know of) because I must give off a vibe that makes me unattractive to the average bw. One thing I have noticed myself doing, however, is that I make a conscious effort to be pleasant to them as well, such as being sure to hold doors open, smile and greet them. My decision to date someone is not meant to be taken as scorning them, and I guess that is a common misconception. My gf also has several bw friends, which helps.

 

I even get those looks if I’m just casually/visually flirting with a WW even if it’s just in passing or a general conversation. Sad honestly.

 

Same no reason to not be courteous. Sometimes though it does lead to some if the same one happens to encounter me hanging with, talking to or even worse flirting with a WW. In some cases after they remain cordial, other times I get hit with a or every time paths cross.

 

Always be courteous, I don't really have anything against bw I just don't find them sexually attractive on a large scale, I still treat them with respect.

 

Definitely don’t have anything against anyone because of who I choose to date. I think I just go overboard as some form of overcompensating due to an assumption about what I think people are assuming about me because of my relationship choices.

 

I used to do the same but I realized if they want to make false assumptions about me they will regardless of how much I go out of my way to overcompensate they will. I treat them with respect like I do others until it’s warranted I don’t but after that I’m at peace with whatever they think.

 

Good point. I don’t go overboard, I just mske it clear that I don’t mean any ill will, and then leave it there. If that’s insufficient for them, then oh well,

 

If you ask me, no addiction ever is worth having. It makes people desperate and depended on the target of their addiction.

 

I’ve kept my white preference a secret for years, though it was more because I didn’t felt the need to share that with folks. I do admit it now, though it’s easier said than done in my case.

Facts! That's why I searched for a site like this one. Being around like minded people makes me feel less alone.

 

Addicted is a strong word. Especially lumping everyone into one category. A black guy i use to see a while back made a comment that I still think about because he thought it was a compliment, but I totally did not take it that way. He said he was addicted to white women because we perform in bed like its the last minute leading up to having an orgasm the whole time we have sex. Honestly I took it like our whole purpose was to just please black men. I dunno. Maybe I was wrong.

 

No, you weren't wrong.

 

For sure knowing you’re far from the only person that shares the same preference is huge. Used to feel alone too until I found others in a similar position. Felt less alone and more understood/supported.

 

Like Ra said not wrong at all. To me that’s no different than the women who say they like/prefer black men for a similar reason based almost solely on sex and not the genuine connection. Both give IR relationships a bad name.

 

Very true. I totally agree.

 

It’s important for white women and black men to see each other beyond their race. Otherwise, it leads to fetishization. However, that situation could’ve been the guy just being innocent about what he said.

 

Yea his intent wasnt bad, but i didnt really take it as a compliment.

In terms of this conversation it seems like there's a fine line between fetishes, "addiction" or whatever, and having a preference. Like all the characteristics I like in a man (being attractive, confident, motivated, treating a woman right, great in bed, dick size etc) has nothing to do with race. White men can have all that, but I feel more connected with black men. I have a stronger attraction to black men, I love sex better with black men, i feel more comfortable with them. I wouldnt say Im "addicted" to black men though. I've had some sex that was addictive, but I wouldnt say Im addicted to a whole race because I've met some asshole losers white and black.

 

Oh I get what you mean by feeling more comfortable with Black Men. It’s good that you have that mindset.