BM/WW - Just Friends???

Question for the bm & ww out there:

How many of you have IR friendships with the opposite gender - successfully? In my personal experiences, I have been more likely to maintin a platonic friendship with a wm than a bm. As a matter of fact, I have no bm friends, which is unfortunate because I think it is very beneficial to make friends with the opposite gender. You get to learn the opposite perspective without the entanglement of a relationship.

I have seen threads on here with bm talking about being stuck in the "friend zone" with ww. Maybe it is just me, but where are all of these IR friendships? Do you think it is more difficult for ww & bm to become friends because there is not only a gender difference but also a race difference?

 

No. I've had successful friendships with black men. I have black male friends right now.

Actually I would think you may find more IR friendships than relationships. I think there are probably more people who are willing to be friends trans-racially than those who are wanting to be involved romantically.

I know for myself, I was friends with black men before I thought about dating black men.

 

Conversations....bm/ww friends only?

As a black male I befriend white women rather easily, and just maintain a healthy distance if I sense the relationship will go no further.I am flawed in the sense that it's more difficult to simply be "friends" with a white woman who only dates white men.I accept it, but only at arm's length.To me it seems natural to befriend white women as a gateway to more because I prefer white women.



Befriending black women is fine as well, and find it easy to work with black women, especially in business matters.


Just my .02.

 

I don't think it should be any harder but when you factor in outside influences I think there are fewer IR friendships across the board than there would be.
If you look at some of the post here it's not hard to see that it's not just sex and the idea of little IR babies running around that drive people to do, say and react in ways that show disapproval of IR relationships on any level.

Having said that....
I have found that when you don't have preconceived ideas about people that it's easier to become friends but then again I am one of the few men that believe men and women can be just friends as most men believe that you cannot have a true friendship with a woman because sex is always in the way.

 

I had several ww as friends before I became romantically involved with a ww. I find it perfectly natural and easy to have ww as friends. Whether or not they date black men or not doesn't interfere with that at all.

 

BTW, brewcitychick.....did you get the stories?

 

Hey Nate! Didn't you get my reply? I swear, your email must have a block on my email address! lol j/k

But really, I REALLY appreciated the stories - and please, please feel free to email any others you may have! :twisted:

 

I have quite a few WW friends and it is just that friends. The WW I know don't date black dudes and it does not bother me one bit, they just cool people.

 

I've got BM that I'm only friends with too. Actually one of my oldest friends is a BM, we've known each other for...12 years or so...

 

For me it is easy to have WW friends. Taking it to the next level is another matter. Also,they are good if a guy has a breakup.

 

I must have bad eys or something...time for a eye doctor appointment...

 

I agree. I think sometimes my man is a little more “nervous” about my BM friends then my WM friends. And if my friends have mates, their mates are usually nervous about me. But for the most part, I don’t have any problems having BM friends.

 

I've had, and continue to have several male platonic friends, but they always seem to be white guys. Things stay platonic partly because there tends to be little sexual interest on my part, and also, wm, I've found aren't as forward with sexual advances and tend to linger in the "friend zone" long after a black guy would have put the moves on me.

On a couple occasions, a white guy friend of mine has tried to make a romantic move. Both times it was after we'd known each other as friends for a while. My reaction was like, "Hey, if I saw you that way, we would've hooked up long ago. We're just friends for a reason."

 

Conversations Between.........

Hearts, your photo depicting the "swirl" in your sig is awesome.I want to swipe that if I may.It's beautiful. RE: "The Friend Zone," I tend to take things slowly with a person even if I seem forward in the beginning. Feeling that buzz from the chemistry is wonderful, but then I want the mental stimulation as well.That may be different than the guys you mentioned in your post, I was saying that on behalf of us "slow moving brothers."LOL.
Thanks.

 

I have loads of BM friends...some through work, some are exes, some just general mates.

 

Re: Conversations Between.........

go ahead. I swiped it myself from somewhere if I recall.

 

It's not just you. I'm a BM and any friendship I have is just the next opportunity or waiting for the next chance to get in the WW's panties.

 

ive said it once and i will say it again.
im surrounded by whites 90% of the time.
its by the lifestyle/career choice i have.
so, if i didnt play nice i would be very alone. maybe living where i do (bay area) has a lot to do with things. some of the posts here are scary in the sense that they depict a wide distance between black and white.
thats completely weird to me because i've been nothing but the minority among a non black majority since the 5th grade.

 

Ladeda what part of the bay are you from.

I'm from fremont