When you joined this forum - what was your story?

Sorry it’s probably not what you want to hear but I don’t think there’s any good reason to step out of your marriage. Having no father figure isn’t one, your father being a cheater isn’t one and not having been with a white woman isn’t one. There’s always gonna be reasons to cheat whether white or black. It’s a decision. That’s my view, am married as well. As for your „sensitivity“, spouses have legitimate emotional needs and should at least try to cater to that. Except you have decided to end your marriage.

 

Madeleine,
Thank you for your candid response. You're right, it is a decision. Although, I have not stepped out of the marriage just yet, I guess in anyone's view there's no reason to step outside of my marriage... cept' for if abuse is present. That's not the case here. People love and fall in love for specific reasons. Those reasons are supposed to last for better, or for worse etc..etc.. with children a home and all that goes with it make the decision all the more difficult. Hurt feelings, distrust, anger and betrayal will fuel the emotional disconnect when all is revealed. My first wife, I love her as well, and to this day we're are great friends, and will always be. I raised her children from ages 2 and 4, and we were together for 18yrs. She knows I still feel the way I do towards her, and deep down so does she. I don't believe this marriage will fair the same. I have a 14yo with her, and I take pride in raising her 3 children.... my children. Everyone is put on the Earth for reasons unknown, but to the Creator. I believe that seeing my children grow up to be productive individuals, is my responsibility....although it is unfortunate that this union may end as well. I love my wife, as I did the 1st, and the WW on the outside ....well, she just there because she wants to be even though we've never met, will cultivate our relationship until the time is right.

 

I guess after my introduction I should start there as well ! But then I'll have to share my whole -short- story.
It might be an odd story, I actually don't know. Maybe you'll tell me ?

I've known a guy pretty much all my life. He is my best friend and the young teen I was had a crush on him. And I was sure he had a crush on me too.
But we were young, without any experience at all and, hey, guys have to do the first move right ? But he never did so friends we were and never more.

When I was 16, outside my highschool, some people was giving flyers for a free african dance tryout so I decided to go there and even got offered more free dance lessons so I came back. And there was this guy, handsome 23 yo black guy, who wanted to be my personal trainer. But inlike my undecided best friend, this guy was very direct.

And so he got what he wanted. I kept it a secret because I was still hoping my crush would make a move. beside, this guy just wanted sex.
Then the whole covid stuff came in, lockdown, etc... so things moved pretty slowly. Yet I kept coming back to my african lover.

So now I can basically come to "what was your story when you joined this forum".

Just a few days ago, my best friends finally confessed his feelings.
And I turned him down.

So that's where I am right now x)

 

I think your story is not unique, at all
Many of us will share this too.

 

Sad indeed. Just wished you chose your best friend who wanted more beyond a friendship.

 

I don't see it as sad. I just think that people change and that I have changed as well.

 

Opportunities come, and opportunities go. But our heart can't wait forever..

 

I was bored, single, lusting for an African American future husband had a young son and plenty of money

 

How did that turn out?

 

It didn’t

 

If only I was two decades younger lol.

 

Welp I didn't speak much on this when I joined I dont think? But I'm 26 years old now I joined this site when I was in the military 7 years ago. But I just wasn't finding what I wanted in a woman. Black women hated me based on how I speak(not a point dexter mf but I spoke properly) and looked said I'm "cocky" but that is always how it was when I was in teenager. But Latin and asian and white women locally just wanted a brothas black pipe for the night or use me for free dinners, rides, gifts you name it. But here I thought I'd find a woman who actually gives a damn about a brotha who can see me for the man that I have grown into not just the accomplishments, money, and pipe size/length. But I dont know maybe I am rambling.

Point is I came on here for love true genuine love of a feminine, friendly, cooperative woman is too much to ask then it is what is.

 

Aww you’re jus a bebe!!! B%#%s will be b$@@s huh!!

 

Facts but the only bebes around here are the ones I'll be putting in ya. Dont underestimate us young brothas we are the ones who do you in.

 

1. What was your "status" when you joined up?
So when I first joined, I had just entered my very first interracial relationship at the ripe age of 45, after being married for 20+ years and having a teenage (at the time) son.
Although I always saw it as nothing more or nothing less than a "relationship" and I always saw dating a Black man as dating "a man", I was very well aware that the fact that we are an interracial couple may bring up some different experiences and situations, not experienced by same-race couples.

2. What were you hoping to get from this forum/site?
I was hoping to meet some like minded people. people in a similar situation and with similar experiences, so we could share some thoughts and experiences... did a google search and the vast majority of IR sites are disgusting sex fetish sites, so I thought this was a good one lol

3. Has either of those changed since you joined?
Not really, except the man I had just met a few weeks prior to joining the site in 2015 i now my husband of 3 years lol

 

This website is a breath of fresh air from division. As a black man I grew up diverse, and this website seems to be more than enough proof of just how much of an impact racial unity has had outside of my world. Granted, this is an era of liberalism so I know racial barriers have come down a notch, but this is also still a world of tradition, and this site bridges the gap between the races.

 

Apologies. I have only been legally married once, no idea why I posted this. Maybe I was living with someone, dunno?

I came back because Rosie was on my mind hard for about a week. I emailed her but the email bounced back. I was afraid to ask about her. No matter people differences, she was fun. Hope she is ok.

To answer OP, I am single no kids. Just lost my guy over hard feelings/stupid issues. Not sure I have it in me to start again with someone new.

 

Hope you find the brother who will treat you right soon.

 

Aha That man is too grown to be expecting any positive responses to his dilemma. Yeesh, I'm glad I know myself and know what I want at my age.

 

You're right I am too grown to expect any good comments to come of my dilemma. I also posted a thread about can a man love two women? Surprisingly I got some favorable responses but what's wrong with wanting your cake and eat it too?