True, I think a lot of it is maybe us projecting backwards too. So we see a white woman with a white man and we assume she's not happy, she's being controlled, not having good sex, etc. etc, but for the woman that is in that relationship, she might not feel that way at all
Absolutely! Honestly, I have never had a healthy relationship with a white man. I was never satisfied, and that actually probably comes down to my personal attraction, but I do sometimes project that onto many other white women, which is probably not fair. Talking to a lot of them tho, it is true with a lot of them! lol
I’ve had several long term affairs with black men and they were incredible. I love dark skin and the sex was hot. Whenever I fantasize I always think of my black men.
Can I get some details LOL??? I've got family in Atlanta who have ben begging me to visit. Sorry, I know it's an old comment but I just saw it and couldn't resist.
I'm glad I somehow stumbled upon this site. I need to take time to read through all the comments, before I actually respond to someone's comments, but I still wanted to make a statement regardless. I find it odd that every sexual preference or attraction is being given its day in the sun, but we still can't equally find a place to declare our love for White women or black men. There are no Interracial Partner rallies, parades, marches, etc. If there was ever a group that needed an open platform were we support of one another it would have to be us. We are perhaps the only sexual preference that is polarized by racists views. I watch some of the youtubers, and while they may cover some angles on why a Black man might possibly want to date & marry white women (usually negative), it never seems a consideration that they are in fact beautiful sexy, and down-right irresistible. While I do like Black women as friends, I have never been particularly attracted to them. Although I did (in my earlier years) give in to social conventions, and married a Black women, outside of skin color and some of the music we listened to, we had absolutely nothing in common. Rather, I found myself living a double life, and even though I loved my then wife, my heart & soul belonged in the arms of a white-women, and it became painfully obvious over time. Believe me, it's not that there aren't black women who are attractive, etc. But it's just that... there is just something magical about white women.
Can people, especially all of you who claim to be so pro-Black Men/White Women unions on all levels, please stop referring to our relationships as "a sexual preferences". How do you expect society in general to view & respect our relationships as normal when people who supposedly are about this community don't even view themselves as normal?
In a perfect world people should love who they love and don't need feel sorry about it. A IR isn't take the easy way because this couples will always deal with some shit and it doesn't stop after marriage or kids, people will always give some opinion about them that no one asked.
Exactly! We get mad at people sexualising our relationships but apparently we are doing it ourselves. Edit: Maybe we shouldn’t get too mad at them after all, they are simply telling us what their relationships are about, right? Maybe they haven’t got to the stage where they are in it for more than some sort of sexual attraction, so...
Sexualizing, trivilizing & playing into all the stereotypes we say we don't want society doing to us. Funny how some people do that especially when they have the option to tap out if/when things aren't all faerie tale fantasy how they build IR relationships to be in their heads.
Welcome to the forum! If there ever was an ir rally, parade or March I’m definitely not attending. My standpoint is that I’m very normal and regular so I don’t need a rally to convince other people that what I’m doing is normal. I’m convincing them by acting like it’s actually a very normal, regular relationship because it is. Understand what I mean?
I'm not mad at anyone just starting to venture into IR relationships and trying to figure things out. I'm looking at the dabblers who have been "dating" IR for years or decades but still sound & act like clueless idiots at every turn.
LOL!!! @Madeleine , I had the same sequence of knee jerk reactions. People do have the right to like what they like relationally AND sexually. But I agree with the larger point that @Ra and you were making: these relationships should not be exoticized or romanticized. Problem is, one of the things most people are too scared to examine in themselves is how much of their personal relational/sexual attraction is influenced by toxicity (eg, racism, objectification, colorism, inferiority complexes, pride, you can go on and on....). One of the differences between IR couples and some other underrepresented groups is that they (I can't say "we" 'cause I'm very very single LOL) don't need rallies or marches to protect their basic rights, etc. To the extent they need anything like that, it's pretty much subsumed under the minority civil/economic rights struggles. What IR couples need, as you've both said, is complete normalization. That's what will slowly (too slowly) help show these relationships to be less exotic and more like the normal, unremarkable, healthy options they are. Fortunately there's been lots of progress on that front. But we still have a long way to go.
It took me 36 years to figure out what I wanted out of a relationship. It’s not who I married. I pretend i want to stay so we don’t kill each other and because I’m building my finances and myself to get the hell away. The best relationship I had was outside the marriage and I shouldn’t have let them go.
