Maintaining Blackness

Agreed. South Yonkers was indeed da hood (which borders the Bronx), but the other parts are much nicer than most Bronx neighborhoods.. The young lady was talking about going to Bay Plaza in Co-Op City (Bronx), and that place is straight ghettofab. I decided on going up Central Ave, actually more like Scarsdale as she was craving cheese biscuits from Red Lobster.

 

You making fun of me? Lol.

Lol. I don't really get the book club thing, that's truly for nerds. I only read for knowledge or world events. The last book I read for entertainment was one by Bernie Mack about 9 years ago lol. The last three books I read outside of school was about astronomy. A few months back.

Lmao

 

Lol I use to go to the Starbucks next door all the time. Small ass world. Yeah that's Scarsdale and even a mile south is technically Yonkers but really edgemont and Scarsdale adjacent lol. Co-op city is interesting some buildings are straight hood and then others are filled with upper middle class city workers

 

She said she meant that they were tired of not being first choice of black men, when black men are their first choice. As a regular guy, I've never been "first choice" of anyone, and don't get bent out of shape about it, so I really didn't understand the insistence. I asked her why the women she referenced were restricting themselves only to black men and she didn't go on further, so we never got to the bottom of the discussion. It just didn't make sense to me.

I heard a black man say something about Serena and I disagreed with him and boosted her right to do whatever the heck she wants. He kept using the "our women" rhetoric, as if women are some sort of natural resource endowment that nations go to war over. Smdh

 

First off the black men are usually their "first choice" because they know its their best chance at coupling in this country where they don't hold as much social value. Not to say there aren't tons of beautiful black women but the social narrative puts them at the bottom in comparison to non bw. Completely unfair but that's the reality. When they do have the chance to date non bm they usually have no problem with it in fact according to dating data bw are the most inviting and open online. Honestly it's not because they want us and we don't seem to want them (dating stats have us dating within our race at 86%) it's more about them feeling like they can't compete with non bw mainly ww in the desirability department. In my experience every other group of women don't hold out for the creame of the crop like bw do, they usually find suitable mates who are family orientated and loyal, I don't see Asian or White female professionals dating "bad boy" types in their 30s the way I see a lot of bw doing. If a lot more bw could be totally honest with themselves they would admit they look over a lot of decent men in search of a fantasy and a lot if not most are not willing to put in the work to be desirable.

 

Good points. I think that people who are open and not judgmental can have better chances dating people in general, regardless of race. A big part of why I have not dated many African-American women is because I don't like feeling abnormal. Minority groups can be terribly norm-enforcing in the US, and the idea of a relationship with someone who is constantly pointing out my failure to measure up on the Blair Underwood Soul Brother Blackness scale kind of sucks. I have noticed that non-US-born black people don't have nearly as many preconceived notions about what a person must do to qualify as "authentically black". I probably would have dated many more African-American women if I wasn't being upbraided about my lack of church attendance, godliness, soul, etc. It just gets old. The black women I have been involved with (one of whom was among my four great loves) were either counter-culture, biracial, etc, and as such weren't nearly as limiting in their notions of authenticity and it was liberating and refreshing.

 

That's one thing I have to give white women overall is that so many have the ability to let you just be. It definitely isn't always perfect but the ability to just be yourself without consequence makes for a much happier relationship. I get that bw face a lot of challenges but I often think they forget so do we. The one thing I will say I envy about wm is their ability to literally be anything and anyone it be ok. The exist outside of binaries and are rarely held to anyone's standard but their own.

 

Not in hell either.

 

Something like that happened to me before. I won't elaborate lest I be accused of "bashing"

 

Black women are boring enough as is. They could at least think of some new shaming tactics.

 

You dated a black woman?? Lmao. How long ago was that? Do tell.....lol.

 

Had to do the blind taste test to determine my favorite flavor

I've dated many nationalities of women, I just don't share that with you fools

 

Yup! Small world, indeed. Yeah, Co-Op City in terms of the buildings... Section 5 is the area to avoid. The nearby Bay Plaza shopping center is cool, and definitely good for the Bronx, but make no mistake... That movie theatre, and the restaurants can be ghetto as hell. Before I left NYC, I lived in the north Bronx near Mosholu Pkway and Grand Concourse which was still OK. After growing up near West Farms Sq and Tremont sections of the Bronx... This was actually a step up. Once I bought a car... Whatever I was doing whether it was food shopping, movies, restaurant... I was usually going up Central Ave or even to White Plains. In fact I was set to move to White Plains when I was offered a job in DC and decided to leave NY. At that point the only thing I was doing in the Bronx was sleeping, visiting my Mom and going to my favorite pizzeria (I still go there today).

 

Why do some guys feel that they have to have a trophy woman to show off to their friends?
And I think it always a white trophy.

 

Truth! When I started dating again following my separation/eventual divorce... It was BW, WW, BW, Hawaiian, WW. I didn't choose that order... it's simply how it happened, and I ended up with the second WW as we were the most compatible of that group. The crazy thing is that I've heard drama from an ex (BW) because I was dating a light-skinned BW with long hair.

 

Why would that bother you?

 

I guess I am wondering if we are just trophys.

 

Post a pic and I'll tell you if you're a trophy or not

 

I cant win.l

 

LOL just playing. And my posts about "trophies" are slightly sarcastic. There's always one who takes it serious