It wasnt really courage. It was more a case of being 18 and living away from home for the first time. I had to opportunity to act on it without fear of judgement. I think the media talk a lot about IR relationships like its still some big scandal. Probably because it makes good ratings. When your young being the subject of gossip is the worst thing ever so I was too afraid. The reality though is very different. I may have just been lucky but Ive never really had any issues. The few comments I have had were more from black women than white people.
Was it when you went away to university? That must have been amazing Where did you go? I've heard before that BW can be pretty nasty with comments and stuff when they see a white girl with a black guy. Touch wood I've not had any problems so far.
Yes if was. I went to Nottingham. University was a real learning experience for me, lol. I got a few nasty looks from BW and one or two bitchy comments but nothing major. Certainly not enough to put me off BM.
If there have been any nasty looks or bitchy comments towards me I haven't seen or heard them. Mind you I haven't really been paying much attention lol. So far I've met a few of my partner's friends & he's met some of mine and everyone's been really supportive and happy for us.
Think university where so many young people meet, is a great place to date.And people are more open and tolerant. Having free admission to the African club in city also helped. Lol
Yes, I've heard this many times Yes, I think it's said to intentionally malign WW. My opinion is that often it's done out of anger and spite. It's directed at us as many see it as we're picking WW over BW, and somehow being disrespectful to BW (specifically those close to us like close relatives). In many of those situations though WW will get more hatred that we would. Many times if a BM expresses that his preference are WW... We're made out to be weak and have to go for WW because we can't handle a strong BW. To me you like what you like, but I also disagree with those BM who prefer WW, and feel a need to speak negatively about all BW.
Very true. It's not only BM with WW, though. I heard it back when I was still living in NYC when I dated latina and even 1 Indian girl. An old co-worker used to share his story... He said that he didn't have anything against BW as a whole, and he still dated them, but... In his own personal experience... he was treated much better when he dated latina women. Once in a heated debate at work (we were all twentysomethings at the time) he mentioned that whenever he was at a party and/or club he'd approach a BW in a respectful manner, and ask to dance. Very often the girl would give him attitude for daring to ask her to dance. He wasn't a flashy type, or even a pretty boy type, and in his mind... that's why they were reacting this way. He noticed that when approaching a latina woman... Usually it was a good experience and at the worst... she'd politely decline for whatever reason. In dating he said it was night and day in favor of latina girls. I always respected him for sharing his story and being mindful to qualify it by stating that this was his own experience.
I get it, but I know some BW to be very open on this topic. Again, I get it and can understand you being at the ready from BW.
This issue will not go away. It has become an argument over an individual's choice to be with someone. It becomes a matter of preservation, yet it is also a matter of individual and collective perception. Interracial/inter-cultural/interfaith relationships have been around for millennia. The resentment and anger stems from jealousy over the individual's relationship and happiness. The thought that this person is in a relationship with someone who is different from him or herself is not "normal" in the eyes of others.
Also racism gave way to these feelings. If racism never existed then interracial would be seen as nothing more than love and a beautiful contrast of skin colors that a lot would agree to be beautiful.
Thats been experience. Obviously not all BW are like this but the ones that were saw me as some kind of slut who was trying steal BM and that the only reason the guy was with me is because I was easy. I agree. I dont prefer black men for any racial or cultural reasons. Its simply a matter of attraction.Obviously there are exceptions but as a general rule I have always found black men to be more beautiful and more confident that white men.
A lot of black women don't care but there a lot who do care and they want to know why. I have cousins on both sides of my family who have married interracially. I have known co-worker who have married interracially. I have some relatives who are not in favor of interracial relationships. Those who prefer to "stay within their own race" simply do because that is what know and have adapted to. I haven't met anyone who feels that it's their duty to shame bm/ww or other women of other races and/or ethnicities. If I ever do, I will give that person this poem: Sticks and stones may break my bones. Bullets, knives and bombs will kill me. Shaming tactics are childish and silly. I am grown. I have a mind of my own. Your argument is petty. Your talk is cheap. Have a nice life. Go away already.
