are men attracted to intelligent and successful women? a study answers that question.

Not baffled in the least. We've been clear that they are unrelated.
Still waiting for you to show how they are.

 

Apparently, we are baffled and we don't get it...ironically that will attract some men

 

Whaaaaaaat

 

I saw what your description in the other thread...you are describing "traditional" ...apples and asparagus

 

I'm not talking tradition. I'm talking about women bring things to the table instead of taking away from the table. Meaning is is she being a good partner and not arguing over everything and not belittling a man.

 

http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showpost.php?p=999833&postcount=3

whats traditional in that post?

so tell me what's wrong with traditional?

I guarantee if anything went down the first thing that come out of a woman's mouth is "you are the man what are you going to do?"

believe me, ask any woman the biggest gripe about a man is being indecisive and not planning the date. are you going to sit here and tell me that you will not be mad at a man who does not plan the date the first date at least? You dont want a man to be a man?

 

nothing wrong with traditional...it is just not the same as feminine...of course i want a man to be a man but I know how to make plans and suggestions too:shock:say it isn't so...yep, that's how I roll...that will never be my biggest gripe about a man...slurping his soup would be pretty high on the list

 

Here's an example from a reality show where a group of young women are meeting with a relationship expert to determine why they have not been successful in love. One young lady just got into a relationship with a guy she really likes, but she's dangerously close to pushing him away. She had an "aha" moment when she realized that intelligence and success and the power she derives from both of the those things serves her well in her professional life, but it could ruin her love life. She tries to control him and the relationship because that's what her intelligence and success has allowed her to do professionally. So we see him waiting patiently for her to let go and allow him to be the man. Waiting for her to trust him enough to be vulnerable, soft, receptive and feminine. (Not dumb!) Nothing feminine about a power struggle or a woman who insists on being the man in a relationship. No, it's not only intelligent, successful women who do that but often, it is. The traits that drive them professionally may not be the best traits for romantic success.

I think of Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama. Both intelligent, successful women of influence. But to me, one is decidedly more feminine than the other.

 

Lol

 

You talking about Black Love?

 

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone because I totally agree with Ches and GL.
Femininity is about adding value to a relationship by being nurturing and supporting. It means trusting your man to lead the way because you trust he has your best interest at heart as well as his own. Its being the soft to his hard the high to his low. Balance.
We aren't single celled organisms, the species needs both of us to continue on and we both bring different things to keep that going.

 

how is the twilight zone...enjoy your time with GL & Bliss

 

In a nutshell, this. I was going to say that but figured it would take the thread left.

The men in the other group weren't saying a woman can't be intelligent/successful and feminine. They were saying please be both.

 

ok that's femininity (part of) but this conversation was about intelligence and success. They aren't mutually exclusive.

 

Your perceptions of what is important to a woman about a man is waaay off base."Biggest gripe"?
"Youre the man, what are you gonna do"??
What women are you rolling with, GL??:neutral:

 

But WHY is a woman's femininity even being brought up or questioned?

 

You meant CHES. :? Please don't leave me stuck in any zone with him!! :smt095

 

Not at all but when the roles aren't being fulfilled I don't think either party is really that happy. For example Rhonda Rousey is a very capable fighter who can take care of herself but you don't see her dating wimpy men she dates men who are capable of protecting her if need be. Your position/success is only an issue when you make it an issue and a lot of times that's at the sacrifice of your "femininity"
I have no problem being my women's cheerleader as long as its not used to belittle me or take away from my self worth. That's where the success part can be a problem. Intelligence is sexy, I can't see why anyone would be threatened by that.

 

I think there is a misconception that women who are strong, successful, intelligent etc are hardened and maybe machine-like. I think this there definitely are many of those out there, but I think that has more to do with the individual personality and the environment they choose to work/be in.

 

Many are like that in their careers and different at home. They just do what they feel is necessary at work just like everyone else.