are men attracted to intelligent and successful women? a study answers that question.

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are men attracted to intelligent and successful women? a study says yes until they get into the relationship. why do you think this is so?

on the flip side would a woman date a man less successful and intelligent?

 

My personal experience is that a lot of men feel challenged by smart women.
They are attracted to smart women, but somehow feel threatened if they find out that a woman has a higher degree or has better skills in a certain field.
That's just what I experienced over the years though.
I probably met a lot of insecure men.
I think a man/woman who has a healthy self esteem and is happy with his/her life, will not feel threatened by success or iq that easily.

 

We just had a similar discussion in another group and I was encouraged to see most men post that while they are attracted to intelligent, successful women, at the end of the day, they really want a feminine woman. Not a man in a skirt.

Besides, do any of us really seek somebody who is stupid and unsuccessful? Lol.

 

Well, to me that's discouraging.
To me it only means that you have to play dumb once in a while (or at least not show that you are smarter) so the man can feel superior.
I'm not good at playing these kind of games.
I have no problem with admitting my lack of skills and asking for help when needed, but I have a problem with playing dumb just so someone can feel better about himself.

 

That's how I see it. Smart women can be attractive, but I don't want to compete with my partner for my place in a relationship.

Generally I'm more attracted to average or even semi-slow women. That sounds odd, but my reasoning is that these women tend to be a bit more humble when it comes to their expectations. Smart girls tend to have this "If I can do it, you can do it too" way of thinking which gets old real quick.

 

I don't think that's the spirit they intended. They still want a feminine woman even if intelligent and successful, meaning they still want to play the traditional role of leader, provider, head of household, etc. and like the idea of a woman in a traditional role, too. In other words, be intelligent and successful, but still be a feminine woman. Not a man in a skirt. Not that a woman needs to dumb down.

 

This all day. How sad that a man feels better if his woman is less intellegent, or pretends to be. I'd imagine that dumbed-down or fake scenerio would get old real quick.

A woman seeks out her level of intelligence, so if she's not too bright, she will attract - and get - the intelligence level of the man suited for her.

 

How is it a similar discussion? The OP comment was, are men attracted to intelligent and successful women.
They (or you) correlated it to femininity or lack of it,, going so far as to imply it's akin to men in skirts. Since when?

 

Did you read my reply to Unique?

 

Flip side, he does not have to be successful, but he has to be intelligent. I just can't otherwise.

 

Why did you and what did you edit from it?

 

Yes! I don't need or want a rich man, but I need a man with a certain level of intelligence.
That's just a must for me.

 

I added one sentence to try to make my point clearer. The men in the group were expressing that they don't need the strong, independent "I don't need a man" type of woman, which some intelligent and successful woman do become. Be intelligent, be successful but keep your femininity.

 

It's the primate section of our brains at work.

It isn't really about the intelligence of the woman, it's about the perception of a challenge to the mans role as the alpha in the relationship.

We like to think that we are "more evolved" but we're not.

 

I think I somehow became that woman over the years.
Not because I really want to do everything by myself or because I think I can do things better, but I have been let down and disappointed by others so many times, that I learned how to take care of things without help.
I know this might be intimidating to some, but it's just who I am today.

 

intelligence is important to me...$ success not so much...I like to be challenged...I love conversation on world issues...I am very feminine girly girly as well as being career minded...i wear pants, skirts and dresses

I think we attract what we put out into the universe that we are seeking in a mate...

 

Being intelligent has nothing to do with being strong, unless you mean strongly intelligent. There's a lot of unintelligent women who think they're strong, or are.
Being successful does afford a woman a level of independence, however, associating that with "l'm strong and independent and don't need a man" Is a stereotypical cop out. To also add that it correlates to being unfeminine is quite ridiculous.

 

So is it safe to say fragile egos are at play here?

 

I wouldn't say that.

Look, I'm willing to bet that if you asked the men in that study why they felt the way they do, they couldn't come up with a real reason. That's because the reason isn't just psychological it's also biological.

The biological differences between men and women are more than just our sex organs. There are deep primal reasons why men and women behave the way that we do. A 100 years of societal changes isn't enough to rewire thousands of years of biology.

 

I wonder what the racial demographics were for that study, as well as broken down by social class. Oh well.