stats on women abusing men...the big secret

Not always. It's not always as simple as leaving and again no one would ever say this shit to a woman

 

P R E A C H

 

But it DOES happen doesnt it? As an adult staying and enduring humiliation by being cheated on especially you women is a choice but a LOT of women stay don't they. Don't be so quick to judge people who dont up and walk away after they have been abused.

 

Very rarely is it "simple" to leave a situation like that but it's always an option. My little sister chooses nothing but abusive relationships (emotional and physical). She's a "fixer"...she believes she can fix these men. Her and I have had countless conversations about it. I could give you 100 reasons why she doesn't leave, ultimately it's because she chooses not to. I love that woman to death and she knows she deserves better but she stays. That's her choice. So yes, it's always an option and I won't sugar coat the reality of that just because of the gender of the person I'm speaking with.

:smt023

Abuse absolutely happens. The idea that any adult (man OR woman) "has to suck it up" is absurd though. How we're treated by other people is based in large part on what we accept/tolerate. If you stay with a spouse that cheated, don't cry later when he cheats again. Should've had enough respect for yourself to leave after the first time. I don't think expecting people to value their worth as a human being is wrong. That's what walking away boils down to.

 

So those spouses who didnt walk out the first time after being cheated on do not have a sense of self worth just like those who stay after being abused the first time. Got it:smt023.

 

Well God bless you and Beasty you have it all figured out. If only people would just suck it up and leave. What a concept.
Well hopefully you guys open up a shelter and tell all those people to straighten up and fly right lol

 

The opinion I've expressed here doesn't mean I have no compassion for those who find themselves in an abusive relationship. Quite the contrary. I've actually donated my time with the same resource center since high school and I donate money to homeless shelters and victims of domestic violence every chance I get. I do everything I can to help people in those situations...but I can't be the only one fighting for their safety. They have to be an active and willing participant in the process as well. If you want help, I got you. If not, it's out of my hands, so carry on.

Abusers of any kind have only as much power as you give them. Leaving takes that power away from them and restores it where it rightfully belongs...with the individual walking away. But apparently we shouldn't encourage that. Instead, just empathize with abuse victims and accept their reasons for staying in that situation. Good plan.

 

You need to stop spouting theory and smell the roses. You make it seem as if its a walk in the park to just up and leave and that is very disingenuous. When it comes to relationships, people have invested their all so it is not that easy for some to just get up and leave and to insinuate that they do not have self respect is condescending. Not everyone has the strong conviction to leave initially, some need to be coaxed into leaving because they will do everything to cling hard to something they have vested emotions in. Do you know the number of people who would have been divorced if they just got up and left their marriage just after a spouse cheated or abused? No one is saying accept abuse victims reasons for staying put but listening to their side of the story would probably not make you flippantly brush them all as sorry sods. Are you honestly telling me that Hilary Clinton is some pathetic sobbing spouse who should have shown strength by dumping her husband?
It is not black or white because this is real life and not a storybook and people will always have reasons for being reluctant to leave. Women especially think of their kids sometimes and want tor try another time and see if the person they once loved would change and not hit them or cheat on them anymore. Is it the wisest thing to do? No but who said human beings make the wisest decisions all the time. It's great you have a strong will and would walk away if your man cheated on you or hit you just once and i applaud you for that but everyone is configured differently and it might take some more than one aberration on the part of his/her significant other for them to walk away.

 

I absolutely agree that not everyone is built the same but I think anyone can be strong enough to leave. The idea that a woman would stay in an abysive relationship for her kids benefit is so far beyond comprehension, I can't even explain it. Divorce is too much to put your babies through, but raising them in a house where their mom is verbally/physically abused and/or cheated on, is acceptable? How do you raise your daughter or son in that environment and expect them to know what a healthy relationship is? You don't, and I think that decision is nothing short of selfish.

And no, I don't think Hillary is pathetic. I don't think anyone who stays in a bad relationship is pathetic. She made her decision to remain with her husband, she has to live with it. Regardless of what you may think, I don't view these types of women as "sorry sods". But I do believe we have to lay in the bed we make. If you choose to stay in an abusive relationship, you've chosen your bed.

 

SMH. Yall keep moving the goal posts and adding different criteria.

Now cheating is on par with PHYSICAL spousal abuse.

If Bill Clinton was slapping Hillary around after work in the Oval Office, you can bet that marriage would have been over 10 years ago.

There really is no 'other side' when one spouse hits the other.
Cheating is sometimes more complicated than that in a relationship.

Men aren't abused at nearly the same rate or percentage as women are.
Stop trying to spin this shit like it's equal for both sides.

A man who lets his woman beat on him and still stays does it for different reasons than a woman who doesn't leave her abuser.

 

Men are not abused physically as often as women but it doesnt CHANGE the fact that it is still abuse and downplaying it doesnt make sense. This is the stupidity perpetuated in black community that men must be tough and must not show emotion or complain and that is clearly a running thought here where some people think it is impossible for you to be physically abused by a woman because you are bigger than the woman. What has gender and size got to do with physical abuse? And we wonder why black men have pent up anger and end up doing something stupid and sent to jail. I admit the cheating part is not the same as physical abuse but it is redundant to think just because one is a man it is impossible to be physically abused by a woman just like how some retards think it is impossible for a man to be raped by a woman.

 

Just because your Sister functions one way, doesnt men this applies to all people in abusive relationships You know nothing and really should read about how abusive relationships work in general and why people dont leave. Its not as simple as you apparently believe it is and your Sister is not the posterchild of the normal abusive victim and not the norm. Clearly there are people who close these type of relationships but its far from the norm of abused spouces

 

You two just won the Internet

 

Show me where I ever said my sister was "the norm". I've had two family members (through my marriage) that were murdered by their abusive spouses...so tell me again how much I don't know about abuse FG. Your post is comical at best with your assumptions that couldn't be further from the truth. Maybe you should read up on why this shit happens and more importantly how it's perpetuated instead of just assuming you know what the "norm" and it's poster child looks like. I've seen minimal staying, all the way to the extreme. I've heard every excuse under the sun for setting in that situation. It boils down to CHOICE. Nothing you say changes that.

 

True. The revolutionary and civil wars are both over. This is a free country.

 

People act like the choice to leave an abusive relationship isn't always an option, just because of the effort and strength it may take to do so. Foh. Everyone has choices. Just because they may be 100x harder for some, doesn't mean they have any less of a choice in this life. And to refuse to acknowledge the impact/difference size can have is disingenuous to say the least. People can fight until the cows come home but it won't change the facts.

 

Right on. Especially about the size difference. I don't know why people are loosing their common sense about the issue of equality. Just because a woman deserves equal pay for the same job doesn't preclude a man from being a man and exercising responsibility with his size and strength.

They can miss with that stupidity.

 

So if an abuser comes to your house despite a restraining order and attacks u or your property then is that your fault?

 

I don't know what the issue is here, but you didn't get that from my post(s).

And I have no qualms about being insensitive to the dumb way of thinking presented by most of the guys in this thread.

 

Exactly. All of this. Societies desire for gender equality will never trump human nature and how we're built as men and women. I don't understand people not being able to recognize that.