how long should u wait before having sex

I agree with Ches and Raider here, back in the stone ages when I was still single, I was usually the one saying lets wait until we get to know one another well before taking things into the bedroom. I wanted to be sure that I had a VERY good idea of who she was, both pro and con, before I took on the life changing risks that come along with sex. I had then and still have very fixed goals in life and did not want things to get derailed by the awesome responsibility of becoming a parent too soon/becoming a single dad.

I am not saying being a single parent is a bad thing, I have huge respect for single parents who are raising amazing kids on their own, just that it would not have been right for me at that time in my life.

There is an old saying about golf, "If you want to get to know a potential business/social partner, take them golfing". The logic behind that saying is that you will see a full range of emotions and character over the course of 18 holes, from anger, to joy, to ethics (cheating, whether they keep accurate score or bump their ball to a better spot to hit from, ect.), to how they treat the staff, if they take the time to enjoy the nature around them, if they can keep up a conversation for 4 hours, if they take suggestions well (if they are open to it), if and how, they offer suggestions (if they are a better player), ect.
That advice has never failed me as you do in fact learn A LOT about a person on the golf course, I still take the same approach to all relationships. I knew I was madly in love with my wife/then girlfriend, when I let her borrow my favorite wedge and she ended up losing it! http://whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_razz.gif

 

I think life throws certain curve balls that show you a person's character but it may be years before you see that. Also in my experience duration of waiting doesn't really show much after a certain point. Like I said to Ches its very rare there's any character trait you're gonna show me in 3 months that I didn't see in the first 3 weeks.
Like the golf analogy might have to apply that to other things I enjoy.

 

I guess if I am approached I prefer to start off as friends. In another thread I mentioned that I attracted abusive and manipulative women in the past. So going about it this way works for me. I understand not everyone needs that much time.

It also takes me a while to develop an interest in a woman. As I mentioned before, I don't approach women anymore. I notmally end up getting approached.

 

Fair enough. I'm not judging just trying to understand the line of thinking. Whatever works fam

 

From my limited experience in this matter, I know that the woman knows that the guy wants to have sex with her. Here is where she takes control of the situation. Everything depends on her decision to go through with it with the guy. In her position, she is in the driver's seat, or the guy simply wears her down or quits. But there are those guys who enjoy a challenge. For me, I just want a straight, no bullshit answer. Is it yes or is it no. It's not that difficult since the woman whom I have asked out has already made up her mind. And the answer after a couple of days is always no. This was where I learned the realization that she wasn't interested in the first place. And I cannot change her mind.

 

Was that a one time experience? No doesn't have to mean never. It may just mean no, not right now.

 

It was more than once. And in some cases, the woman just simply wanted to reject me because she can. I was insulted twice by girls in middle school. Even laughed at. They didn't change their minds a few days or a few months later. They were often dating someone else at that time.

 

I am sorry to hear that. Some people can be very cruel. I was made fun of and ridiculed in my youth as well. Oddly enough, the moment we graduated, they miraculously became interested. In those situations, it has very little to do with looks and a lot to do with popularity. Oddly enough, it can still be like that depending on where you live.

You seem like a good guy and in the right area where the women aren't petty, you will probably have women falling all over themselves for you.

 

[YOUTUBE]HWZisnZ-RGE[/YOUTUBE]

 

I would just like to meet someone that made me throw my principles out the window.

 

Throw my ticket out the window
Throw my suitcase out there, too
’Cause tonight I’ll be staying here with you


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And this another reason women are unhappy in general

 

Popularity was often the case in middle and high school. On campus, people knew of me but not enough about me. I was shocked when I had been voted "Most Likely To Succeed" in the senior favorites. I didn't expect that. At the same time, I didn't care who voted for me. When I graduated, I was glad that part of my life was over. I had seen a few of my classmates over the years in the same town we lived in. We have grown up at this time. Some people have changed, others haven't. Some are married, others are divorced(I met one classmate who was married twice and in school she was the best majorette in school). I often argued with my family about going back to the state of New Jersey to start over. They told me that there was nothing there but that was their opinion. I saw something there that only I could see. I was moved to Florida under duress. I was a kid and I had no say in the matter. My brothers and sister were fine with Florida. I simply made do and made the most of it until I am able to move out. I have felt that the right location can make a difference. However, I would still be a stranger in a strange land no matter how friendly I am.

 

Y u say that

 

For a number of reasons, one being third-wave feminism.

 

Too many women who think being oppisitional means being strong and independent. No direction, no code, no honor. I see it as a cultural thing with men too but no to the same degree or frequency.

 

Yep

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...cate-of-purity-to-father-on-her-a6704476.html

Bride Brelyn Bowman sparks online debate after presenting 'certificate of purity' to father on her wedding day
------------------------------------
The bride's father, Pastor*Michael Freeman, said*all three of his children had signed undertakings they would save themselves for marriage...........(read the rest)

 

Women are still playing the waiting game in 2016?!?

 

Sure ...didn't you know there is a whole big thing about it. Steve Harvey is promoting the 90 day thing.