she had an affair with her husbands uncle....keep it a secret?

DEAR ABBY: I recently married the love of my life. However, a few years ago, I had an affair with his uncle. It was a terrible mistake. Should I explain this to my husband or keep my shameful secret a secret? Please tell me what I should do. -- CONFUSED WIFE IN THE EAST

DEAR CONFUSED WIFE: I vote for telling your husband the truth. Better he should hear it from you now than hear about it later from his uncle.

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Do you agree with abby and tell it?

 

At a loss for words at some of the most stupid people and awkward situations they put themselves in... if she's smart, she will tell her husband because there is potential for it to come up at any given time in a drunken conversation or any other inopportune time. If she doesn't bring it up first, divorce could be on the horizon...a pretty fucked up situation to find yourself in :/

My question is did this happen before or after she started her relationship w him

Sigh

 

Good point and question.

 

Tell the truth you fucking bitch. Apparently fuckin' someone's homeboy isn't sad enough, but she goes for family.

 

That's the most important part, I think. If it happened before she met her husband then the answer is easy: no! If it happened after she met her husband I'd still say that the answer is no but it's tricky depending on whether the uncle will tell his nephew anything.

 

I think I'd take that one to the grave with me. Unless the uncle has proof, it's his word against mine and if I've never given my husband reason to doubt me otherwise, why would he not believe me now?

 

If it happened before they got together then it's not an affair.

 

This is the kind of thinking I've seen over and over again and is precisely why I don't trust women. They want to play these games, but not own up to the wrong they do and face the consequences. (To be fair, the same can be said about men, but I don't date men, so ...) She has an affair with his uncle and doesn't tell him? I think that's very selfish of her.

Even if they hooked up a few times before she met her husband, she should tell him and accept the consequences like an adult.

Rest assured, something down the line will happen and hubby will find out. Best to get it out of the way now wbile things are still fixable. Honesty is always the best policy.

Most men have no idea how sneaky most women are. Even the, so called, good ones.

 

I get that. But I'm going to destroy my marriage and my husband's relationship with his uncle to ease my guilty conscience? If he's going to be told, then the uncle and I will tell him together. Because I guarantee you, it would've been the uncle who approached me and I must've been really high to even do such a thing. Hubby will know who approached who. And that's assuming that this happened AFTER I met my husband. (BTW, my ex's uncle made a pass at me once. I was disgusted. And I never told my husband.)

 

The Husband has a right to know. She said it was an affair so she had to have meant that it was during their relationship. She is a cheat and cheaters just keep on cheating. If she keeps it to herself she doesn't take her vows seriously and has no business wasting this man's time. If this is the biggest thing she is hiding and had no issues hiding it for this long than you can imagine what other things she is keeping from her husband. If this story is true, I hope she tells him so that he can move on and find someone that actually loves him.

 

This.

She's trifling and so is the uncle.

 

Its funny no one mentioned the uncle until now

 

Me too.

The word "affair" infers they were together whenever the wife slept with the uncle, therefore he's just as trifling (if not more, maybe) because he betrayed his own family member. There is no way to repair that damage. Regardless HOW it happened, they knew they were wrong when the did it so really there is no excuse. It's not just your typical affair.

This is crazy; kind of reminds me of the husband that was killed after he found his wife in bed with her dad.

Like really... WTF!?

 

Exactly. He screwed over blood relative. Thats worse

 

That's because it was the wife who wrote the letter, not the uncle. Since she was the one asking the question she was the focus of the discussion.

 

Because typically women are the ones that end up feeling guilty about it and have to blab to somebody, sometimes looking for advice on how to handle a situation, but also I think a lot of people trying to justify why they cheated.

let me answer some of those letters I would be happy to tell them both about themselves

 

True .
Question: who gets the biggest ass whipping

 

I think the short answer is that it depends on so many things that the letter doesn't tell us. Are the uncle and nephew close? How soon did the uncle and the wife sleep together before she married his nephew? Was it just a one-time event or did it happen more than that? Is the uncle himself married? When the wife slept with the uncle did she even know that she was her husband's uncle?

Telling her husband would probably end up making her feel better at the expense of her husband's feelings and that may end up destroying their marriage. If it only happened once a long time ago I'd keep that to myself because the harm that would result from telling her husband would probably outweigh any benefits that would result from telling him what happened.