It's more the majority male stance of not giving up their name and taking their wives, out of tradition. If we stood by tradition, the modern woman would still be treated as a commodity, unable to vote, have a voice and not able to join the workforce. We are breaking with tradition. Both people in a marriage work outside of the home and contribute financially. We are not the property of another, we are a partner, equal in every way. We are fighting for same sex marriage. So why can't this tradition be done? Why is it women giving up their name? Yes, the name I have is my fathers, and that is my name, but why can't it be the man that I marry as well? Why not be flexible? Just a question.
Pfffttttt last time I checked, men benefit with a longer life through marriage and the wife has the opposite. I can see who benefits from marriage Ol Ricardo just upset cause he wanted me to take his last name
So some men are not prepared to take their wives name but maintain a tradition that is over thousands of years and suddenly they are not progressive. Interesting. Maybe the most progressive thing to do is do away with tradition all together by maintaining their names , no wedding rings and no ceremonies just signing at a court and that's it.
Never say that in the presence of most women else you would be called an asshole and very unsuitable for inter gender relationships and coupling
You and I would never last lol. I can appreciate where Tarshi's coming from about the tradition factor here. I'm not a huge traditionalist but just as she's proud of her name, I feel equally honored to take my husbands name. That name change is very significant to me. Truthfully, I loved my married name. It just flowed. However me having another mans name was a big issue with my bf so I wanted to respect that, hence me going back to my maiden name. I think a man giving me his last name is just solidifying our, God willing, life long commitment. Tradition or not, it's something very special to me, as a woman.
Just to play devil's advocate here, would you be ok giving up the tradition of receiving an engagement ring as well?
http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26883&highlight=proposals I took heat for it before.....
I don't really care what other people chose to do. That's why I said they could just change their names to whatever they wanted (or not) as well. Let's be real - people chose what things they want to carry forward and which they do not. I think it's up to the 2 who are getting married. I happen to be more traditional and would change my name if I marry again. I didn't change my name back to my maiden name after divorce because of my children and thinking it would be easier for them. I've thought about doing it more recently and I'm still deciding. But I would definitely change my last name if I were to get married.
If I had really thought about it at the time, I would have kept my maiden name and let him keep his, nobody has to change anything. It really is just a symbolic token of the marriage and has nothing to do with the marriage itself. When my driving license and passport are up for renewal again I will probably change back to my maiden name, but my o/h doesn't bother to demand I change it back. We both hardly give my ex a second thought (same with his ex) his name, her name and our names it's all irrelevant to our day to day relationship.:freehug:
Hey sweets! good to see you!! I think it's a bit odd that someone one is dating would want that name changed back to the maiden name. I mean I can see them wanting the last name changed if they got married. But I don't really think they have any business to be concerned until that point.
All sounds a bit demanding to me lol I think if himself started telling me I had to change my name back because he "didn't like it" I'd probably laugh. I just feel to long in the tooth (only in my 30s) for that marking territory shit. Totally unrelated topic but another thing I'm too old for, I spied a parent at training with a ton of love bites up her neck and she was my age.....I mean really?..... and to add even more of a horror factor the father/partner had a matching set WTF! At first I thought she had some kind of skin condition (its been that long since I've seen one, I personally never allowed anyone to chew on me)
For my guy the issue was me carrying another man's name. He wasn't concerned about it when we first got together, of course, but as we started the marriage talks he voiced his displeasure with me still having my ex's name. To him, sharing ones last name is a big deal, as it is to me, so I could understand his point. It's like a connection still to the past...at least that's how it's viewed by some. If ever remarried I knew I'd change my last name again so giving up my former married name wasn't an issue for me.
I must be a rare woman. I never had an engagement ring when I first married...I survived. I think a plan band is all you both need. I've never been impressed with bells and whistles.
I totally get him not wanting you to keep your former married name when you marry him. But did he actually expect you to change it prior to marrying him? I would just never think a man would take issue with a woman still having her married name after divorce if she has children. Some of us have businesses, etc with those names and it can be a huge ordeal to change the names. I think an awful lot of women don't change it back especially after long term marriages and children. It seems to be more typical really.
