Old White Woman Regret

Whatever!!!

HELLO ALL!
I KNOW, I HAVE BEEN AWAY ALSO FOR AWHILE... GOOD TO BE BACK. LET ME ELABORATE LIKE I USUALLY DO.
I HAVE LOVED BLACK MALES SINCE I WAS 13, ALWAYS HAS BEEN MY PREFERENCE,& I ALWAYS LET MY FAMILY KNOW WHERE MY HEART BELONGS,FROM DAY ONE...I JUST TURNED 39 IN SEPT, I HAVE 4 BEAUTIFUL MIXED KIDS WHO ARE 19,18,16 & 10, AND WILL STAND UP FOR THEM ANYDAY, & FOR MY FUTURE GRANDSON,WHO WILL BE HERE LATER THIS MONTH. HIS FATHER IS ALSO A MIXED CHILD. I DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH ANYONE WHO IS RACIST, JUDGEMENTAL,OR CLOSED MINDED. I USED TO BE SMALLER THAN I AM NOW, BUT AGAIN, 20 YEARS LATER, SOME THINGS WERE BOUND TO CHANGE.MY KEY TO HAPPINESS IS: TO EACH IT'S OWN, MIND YA BIZ, AND GET A LIFE, STOP WORRING ABOUT MINE....BECAUSE I WILL LOVE MY MAN TILL I GET OLD, FAT, & GET A FEW WRINKLES. (and yes, he is black)
DAMN THAT FELT GOOD TO SPEAK MY MIND HERE AGAIN......
no apology for the loud post :roll: http://www.myspace.com/ghostgyrl

 

hey welcome back....

 

Hey AF don't go I am sure Nilan will understand you now that you've made yourself clear

 

Well coming from a 41 yo woman, one of the things that is never talked about is how most men of all colors and creds date younger as they get older. I get hit on by incrediable looking younger men, but I really would rather date someone my age or older. Problem is, they are dating the younger women. Not that I cannot date a man my age, just the choices have narrowed.

Sooo, if someone was already limiting their potential mates to one category (whether it be by color, religion or whatever else) I see why they would become less restrictive as they get older. While I have always dated all nationalities, I use to be much more restrictive on the age of my partners. Now, I am accepting younger suitors that I use to pass by.

 

just my thoughts..

Being a 29/bbw/tennessee, I just wanted to comment on this topic. I being a busy workin mom, (plenty of us on here i am sure). Just wanted to put my experience, with datin in general.(no matter what race) Being from a small town in east tn during early school years I also was raised(being told)not to mix races. So growing up I always had that in the back of my head, but also there was no real opertunities (sorry for my spellin) to meet bm, during my school years there probally werent but a handfull of bm(boys during school) avaliable to get to know. Then in high school being a sheltered wf married (at 19yrs) a wm i was with since I was 16, (should have listend to my father on that one). Any ways ended up gettin divorced after 6 yrs and 3 wonderful kids later. After divorcing I have dated both bm and wm. I did start datin bm, out of curosity. Not because I didnt think i could not get a wm, beacuse I was fat and older. In makin the dicision I made the choice to deal with the comments, stares, not only from people I dont know but family as well. If I could have more kids with my bm (believe me) I would. But as we get older and have kids things happen and circumstances dont allow us to do everything we want. Now I am not only in age gap relationship (22 yrs), but married to a wonderful Black Man, by choice. I hope my story helps someone understand from this white bbws point of view... only to help in understandin not meant to upset anyone!

 

Re: Old white women regret

You hit upon something that really bothers me as well! I hate, absolutely hate seeing personal ads that read something like "Looking for big black c%$k for gratifying sex." And I see these ads all the time. Many times, yes, the "couple" is looking for a bed toy for the "wife."
OMG please go get a vibrator!
So, WHY would any self-respecting BM respond to such an ad? IF you suspect they are calling you names behind your back, and it's obvious you feel used, why do BM go along with this mentality? I personally would never respond to "Looking for pink hole to stick my thang in."
Gentlemen, it's pretty obvious to me that some BM don't mind being treated like a bed toy, otherwise there just wouldn't be so many WW getting away with acting like this.
So we start to get to the heart of the matter. Provided that some of us WW are really with BM because we want to be, not because we are using anyone, not because we woke up one day and decided to "go slumming," not because we got old and fat and "can no longer attract the attentions of men in our own race," then it really does get down to preference. I didn't go out with my man because he was an object, or because he was "a fine specimin of his race." I went out with him because we both grew up in CA and we both wrote books and because he appealed to me. I decided to stay with him because he was enthusiastic, had dreams and aspirations and liked having me around.
Look, I can't make a difference in how many WW treat BM as objects. BUT you BM can. But the thing is, maybe there's a certain appeal to being able to have sex with no consequences (although I think having the bitter opinion of the writer below is it's own sad consequence), and maybe people on both sides of the color line want to be able to not be so serious about everything some of the time. I saw an ad the other day which said something like "Just come over and do her, you don't have to stay around, you don't have to talk afterwards, you can have her as many times as you want....Must be clean and at least 9" Of course, I don't know whether anyone responded to the ad. The whole situation sounds so degenerating. It is my hope that over time we can see less of this type of "meat wanted" ad, and have more respect for one another.
The writer below writes "The only white girls I ever knew.... can't fucking stand her own people" like this is acceptable. Love for certain people can't be dependent on rejection of another. I wish I thought this was only an isolated incident of a biased perception, but it's not as isolated as I wish it were.
Cheers!
Fyre


In my experience . I've always dealt with white women only wanting sex from me. To the average white woman if you're a young black and not a successful athlete or a professional entertainer, you are a bed toy. An experiment, a lab rat, and opportunity to go slumming. You aren't someone to take home to Mommy and Daddy unless you are exceptionally successful. That being said, white women can and ARE in most cases

The only white girls I ever knew (on a for real basis) that I'm cool with to this day are "in-hoods", and one of them can't fucking STAND HER own people because she saw first hand what we went through behind them.....

Some white girls will date black men, while calling us niggers behind closed doors.

And other white girls are just whores, i treat them as such

I think the fact that some black men would actually date a white mans left overs proves why white men believe they are superior

 

So, I was reading this blog and it is definately interesting to me. I don't really fall into the category of older white women because I'm only 20, but I am from the south. Personally, I have never just dated one race. I have always been open to dating any race. During my freshman year of college, I talked with my parents about how there was a huge chance of me bringing someone home that I was dating, and them not being white. Although I think they would prefer I dated/married a white guy, they respected that I might not. I can see though how some older women might have been under pressure before not to date bm, so they are dating them now.

 

Don't knock it 'til you try it :!: Those 30ish white soccer moms can be alot of fun. :wink:

 

Re: Old white women regret

You have quite a flair for writing, and I like your style. Hopefully, we'll see more posts from you in the future.

 

I've been dating mostly younger men for several years now. They just seem to match my personality and energy level. I do have limits though..

 

Okay Sassy lookys like you're getting the SPIRIT!!! :wink:

 

Absolutely.. I love Christmas... that is my early Christmas present to you all..

 

*hugs Sassy*

 

Your the Man Bro. Take pride Take pride. Don't you hate when brothers date a White chick just because she's white. Take pride. Pick and choose.
I've been at this IR thing for a while. You should go after the cream of the crop, or else why do it.
Holla at ya boy.

 

Indeed, man; couldn't agree more. Generally, age is not one of the top criteria (although 20 years older is another issue). But when i date a (white) woman or any woman for that matter, she's gotta look great, literally. Now i am not saying that she's gotta be a supermodel or something but i really do not want someone who i cannot even look in the face. I cannot even imagine someone dating me because they cannot get any other man, so i am their "last resort". I am not putting down any woman who happens to love black men and is either "big" and old, but it's not my thing. Just like many people, i have preferences. I am not one of those brothas who'd go for any white girl just because she's white.

Secondly, i do not buy into the whole "Black men get the ugly, fat white women that white men don't want" bullshit. Pretty much everyone accepts that stupid myth. I am not saying the women i've dated were the most beautiful things but at least they came damn close :wink:. I have seen many, many gorgeous white women with black men; it's not uncommon here in S. Florida to see a black man with some gorgeous blonde woman. I believe that myth is spread by white men who, in reality, see the opposite of what they see.

Conversely, if the white woman is hot and is with a black man, she's either a slut, dumb, has been abused or is brainwashed, according to these fools. My oh my!!! I'm guessing it applies to every white woman who marries or dates a black man. One of my uncles is married to a really beautiful white woman from Boston and they have a girl together. My uncle's wife is really pretty and she's a graduate of the University of Chicago, as is my uncle. I have not followed her chronology as such but nothing of her past suggests she is a slut or anything. I am sure you guys have similar testimonies to put that tired "myth" (and i'm being reasonable by using that word) away for good. We all know it is not true.

So i guess my point is that love truly is colorblind, but never be blinded by love so as to compromise your wants and more importantly, needs.

 

As a white girl in my early twenties, i certainly dont fall into the category of older and overweight white women who date black guys.
But I have to agree with what someone said earlier re differences between U.S. and Europe. A lot of black people are arriving in Europe from Africa and they tend to want a white girl for fun and sex rather than a relationship.
However I know my college friends are pretty open about IR dating, and it doesnt seem to be an issue as it would have been for a previous generation.
Long live the melting pot !

 

Good point Sarah! By the way, have you posted your pic in the "Post Pics" forum yet :?:

 

As a white girl in my early twenties

Amen 8)

 

In college, a lot of my friends were dating nigerian and ghananian men, some who were students too, but some werent. Guess at the time it was also interesting to date foreign guys - and a lot of us are still meeting BM.

 

Guy, there are older women who keep their bodies in shape still attract some white men, but there are white women who can't keep their figure and attract white men so the turn to black men.