Single men in DC spend an average of $177 on first date

lmao say what you will but that was hilarious.

 

Lol @ you playing playa

 

I think that's another piece that I'm struggling with as well.. Dinner as a 'high pressure' situation vs. other activities. One of my recent first dates that was as 'low pressure ' as it comes was dinner followed by a walk on the beach. Eating a meal is not like meeting the parents or anything.

I think personal means should also be taken into account. $150 might be 10% of one mans Bi-weekly take home 5% of another's and 2% of another's. If the latter mans lifestyle affords him to be able to take a first date to Cirque followed by a wine bar, or something like that... Why should he 'dumb it down' to ordering pizza and finger banging on the futon in his parents basement? Men, stop fooling yourself, your means are a part of your overall eligibility profile. As Kanye said "now I ain't saying she a gold digger, be she ain't fuckin wit no broke n****'. Nor should she, nor should she be judged for it any more than TDK desiring that his woman meet certain physical standards.

Dating for me is also an opportunity to do something that I enjoy. Doing something more enjoyable than sitting around starbucks gives me the opportunity to determine chemistry just as well.

One of my good friends wife set me up on a date last year with a friend of hers. We decided to start with appetizers. The girl looked at the menus and said 'I heard the kavichy is good here.' Struggling to locate kavichy on my menu, I asked her to point it out., she pointed at ceviche. For me, that was a huge turnoff. I don't think it speaks to her intelligence, per se. But something that simple, combined with a few other things that occurred on that date told me that we are in different places and would not be a good match.

Conversely, I went on a date a few years ago to a wine bar with a Romanian girl. She knew which type of wines that she liked (outside of just red or white). She could explain why she did not like Pinot noirs and why she did like cabs. She knew how to pair wines with foods. That in itself was a great no-pressure conversation, followed by hours of good conversation covering other topics.

Perhaps that's why I'm single then.., perhaps I am too picky

I still don't think a first date has to be $200, but I still don't understand why people are so threatened, offended or pressured if it is. $200 first dates have gone so far as to serve as a filter in some cases for me.

 

I'm on the dinner-on-the-first-date-is-a-no-no bandwagon. A formal dinner implies (in my mind) that I'll be spending an hour or two with you. If after 10 minutes you prove to me that there's no way in heck we're a good fit, I'd like to have back those additional 50-110 minutes of my life. I don't like wasting time so I definitely don't want to waste someone else's. Meeting someone, communicating on the phone/email for a while before the actual first date is all well and good, but sometimes you learn very quickly on that first true date that there really isn't a love connection. That's why for me, I have always preferred something super simple...coffee, smoothies, a quick activity. If it's going well, we can hit up a taco bar or something but I definitely don't want to feel stuck at a table with someone, looking awkwardly around the restaurant for a quick escape.

 

I can see spending a couple of hundred on a first date. Lol. Let's go skydiving!!! If you go, that's our first date and we have something unique in common. If you tell me "fuck you", well,,, fuck you too.

 

I've actually never had a first date were I didn't already have a feel for the person. I guess with me its established during the first or second conversation.
PS: my skydiving post was bullshit.

 

I've never had a problem with dinner as a first date. No man I've ever met has been that disgusting that I couldn't tolerate being with him for an hour. Even the guys with whom I knew almost immediately that I wouldn't go out with a second time were still tolerable enough to enjoy conversation with. And if, by chance, I would be with someone who was an absolute horror, I'd seek out the server, pay for my meal and leave.

 

I can dig it, but not for a first date. If we at the point where we are spending weekends together (usually dont take long, but its indicative of chemistry) then we would probably go to a restaurant like that as an unplanned event while we are kicking it. At that point it doesn't have to be serious at all but thats when I would want to know stuff about her like taste in wine etc.. so I can maybe surprise her from time to time and spice up the fun.

Anyway its not being to picky to rather spend time with someone that has appreciation for similar things/events that you do.

 

Thank goodness I've never experienced someone utterly disgusting but I know pretty fast if he's someone I can connect with and if we're at dinner I'm obligated to see it through to the end, knowing full well it'll never end in a second date. I always try to pay my own way, they always refuse my money then when dinners over they ask about a second date. I awkwardly decline had think to myself "bet you wish you'd let me pay my own way now huh lol". I'm a wimp, I hate letting dudes down. It's much easier to do after a simple smoothie or coffee date imo!! I don't do awkward well so I'd rather not even put myself in that position. That's just me though.

 

I actually think we come from different schools of thoughts on this and it may have to do with my chosen profession. Everything to me is a cost benefit analysis. Like others said it also comes down to who you choose to spend your time with and how much your time is worth to you.
I've had so many bad dates in my life and part of what made it bad is I was paying a good chunk of money that could go to better things. It's one thing to have absolutely no chemistry with someone but adding 200 dollar price tag to it adds insult to injury not to mention the time commitment of sharing a meal.
But like said to each his own

 

Some dudes will do anything for some pussy....

That ain't me though. I definitely pay far less these days on first dates, for a few different reasons. I think TDK mentioned that dropping mad coin never panned out well for him. I second that. I used to take chicks to Baseball games ( do you know what a ticket at Fenway is?), Basketball games (Celtics no cheaper), and the nice restaurants that I like to hit up. What's the point if you aren't gonna be around this person 6 months down the road? Cheese gone.

Then you have the whole gender equality issue. I'm all for equal pay and all that, seriously. However, sorry ladies, all that holding doors for you, flowers every week, chivalrous bullshit is gone/dead. Does that define a gentleman? Hell no. I'm a gentleman with a brain. Nothing wrong with doing nice things for someone you care about, but if you care about someone at that level after a few hours, you got larger issues.

This theory of "female entitlement" is a very valid point to be made. Men gotta maintain some kind of dignity, and if we are giving up the aspects of the old guard in favor of creating an even playing field in the modern world, this whole idea of women as princesses and items to be cherished get kicked to the curb as well.

It's a simple balanced equation.

 

UGH. No sir, it's not dead. Thankfully, there are still men who open a door for a woman.

And...there are still women who are not offended by a man who is thoughtful and makes an effort. Some of us very much appreciate it!

I think it's really sad when my 11 year old son shows more manners than supposed grown men.

Equal pay for equal work doesn't mean that there are not any differences between the genders.

 

Indeed!!! Great post! :smt023:smt023

My son treats his female friends better than I've seen men treat their girlfriends/wives.

 

My 26 year old treats women really well. It's not because of any of the BS guys are talking about either. He does it because he wants to. If you want to be treated well, you treat others well. He was raised with people who respect each other and are kind to one another, even if they aren't in a relationship together.

Several of his friends are that way too.

 

I'm in your group. I feel my time is worth more than to sit through a dinner with someone that is tolerable enough, sorry Ches, don't mean to single you out, but you put it perfectly - to what I'm not willing to sit through. I don't understand why I would do that to myself, and the other person. That is why I prefer other means to "cull" if you will. That way, I can also cull a way the ones that look at that dinner as north put it "charity dinner..." Lol

 

The thing is, I've already gotten a feel for the guy by talking on the phone. I rarely accept a date if we haven't talked first, but on occasion I do. So I already know if I can get through dinner with the guy. I'd rather be sitting in a restaurant with my car just outside than walking in a park and decide I've had enough and then have to hike back to my car, with or without him.

 

Well, ches, so have I: talked on the phone etc, obviously. I NEVER go on a first date with out talking/txting/ emailing first for a bit. But I don't think chemistry over the phone , emails etc nessesary correlates to chemistry in person. I'm not doing less than you are before the first date.
We simply have different opinions on what it is worth to go on a dinner for a first date. I dont want to "get through " a dinner. We simply think differently in this. You do what works for you and I do what works for me, neither is wrong.

 

Agreed! I don't need to be handled with kid gloves but I sooooo love a man who treats me like his princess. Open my doors, hold my hand, offer me is jacket, protect me like I'm worth protecting! I can't get enough of that kind of man. Those men DO exist and I thank God daily to have one in my life!

My baby is 6 and since he was about 2.5 he'd always let his sister and I go first in everything, try to hold our doors, etc. he's such a little gentleman already. While I fully believe women need to pull their own weight in relationships, I equally believe in men being gentlemanly and protecting of what/who they hold dear! It's a beautiful thing when I see men (especially young men) behave this way.