Should white mom be paid for brown baby mistake?

What is the price of being forced to raise a brown baby?

It's an unusual question, arising from an unusual lawsuit prompted by an insemination gone wrong. And it has set off an extraordinary discussion touching on sensitive issues of race, motherhood, sexuality and justice, though the debate begins with one basic premise: You should get what you pay for.

Jennifer Cramblett and her wife, Amanda Zinkon, wanted a white baby. They went to the Midwest Sperm Bank near Chicago and chose blond, blue-eyed donor No. 380, who looked like he could have been related to Zinkon. When Cramblett was five months pregnant, they found out that she had been inseminated by donor No. 330 — a black man.

"The couple did not get what they asked for, which was a particular donor. The company made a mistake, and it should have to pay for that," says Jessica Barrow, an information technology professional in suburban Detroit.

Barrow is black and lesbian, with a white partner. They considered insemination of the white partner before choosing to adopt. When looking at donors, they wanted sperm from a black donor, to create a biracial baby that would have shared some physical characteristics with both of them.

"They're not saying anything racist, they're not saying we don't want a black baby," Barrow said of Cramblett and Zinkon, who profess their love for their now 2-year-old daughter. "They're saying, we asked for something, you gave us something different, and now we have to adjust to that."

That "adjustment" is a major justification for Cramblett's lawsuit. It cites the stress and anxiety of raising a brown girl in predominantly white Uniontown, Ohio, which Cramblett describes as intolerant. Some of her own family members have unconscious racial biases, the lawsuit says.

That leads some to believe that Cramblett is asking to be paid for the difficulties that many black folks — and white parents of adopted black children — deal with without compensation.

"I don't think I deserve anything more being the white parent of a black child than any parent of a black child does," says Rory Mullen, who adopted her daughter.

Strangers have asked Mullen why she didn't adopt a white baby. One remarked in front of her white then-husband that Mullen must have cheated with a black man. Too many white people to count have pawed her daughter's hair.

"It's hard, but being a parent is hard," says Mullen, who lives in Southern California and is author of "Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care: A Parent's Guide to Beginning Natural Hair Styling."

"Being a parent is going to throw things at you that you never expected, and we make a decision that we're going to roll with it, because we love our kids and they deserve it," she says.

Mullen agrees that a company should be held liable for promising one thing and doing another. But she thinks the fact Cramblett waited more than two years to sue indicates that the experience of raising a black child is her real problem.

"When you say this is too hard, I didn't deserve this, this is too much for me to handle, then the child internalizes it and it affects their self-esteem," she says. "It's my job to pour self-esteem into my daughter, not tear it down."

From the days of American slavery through the 1960s, white men fathering children with black women was commonplace and tacitly accepted — yet there were few things as scandalous as a white woman with a brown baby.

That history makes Denene Millner, author of the MyBrownBaby.com blog, say that the lawsuit is "rooted in fear ... stuck in the muck and mire of racism and the purity of white lineage."

"She simply cannot fathom dealing with what it means to, in essence, be a Black mom, having to navigate and negotiate a racist world on behalf of a human she bore, in an environment of which she is a product," Millner wrote.

Darron Smith, co-author of "White Parents, Black Children: Experiencing Transracial Adoption," says that the lawsuit reflects America's unexamined racist attitudes and Cramblett's angst over having a biracial child.

He notes that due to supply and demand, it costs about half as much to adopt a black child as a white one, and many black boys in foster care are never adopted.

"This lawsuit demonstrates quite nicely the value of skin color," says Smith, a professor at Wichita State University.

Yet Cramblett's defenders say she should not be held responsible for being unprepared.

"White people who aren't affiliated with black people don't necessarily understand the challenges that black people face in all facets of their life. This couple wasn't expecting that, and now they have to deal with it," says Rachel Dube, who owns a youth sports business in New York.

"She didn't ask for a biracial baby. She was given one, she loves it, she adores it, now she's facing challenges and admits it. That doesn't make her a racist," Dube says.

"You can't fault her for what she was not exposed to," she says. "Her only obligation is to love and raise her child in the best environment possible. And if the money will help her do that, then good for her."

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/554d...3/should-white-mom-be-paid-brown-baby-mistake

if she can be compensated for an honest mistake the company made then men should be able to sue and be compensated by women who falsely tell them the baby is theirs only to discover in some cases YEARS later its not.

Also all this talk of the mothers getting compensated for getting something they did not order...that child didn't ask to be born so who compensates HER for the LIFE SHE HAS TO LIVE IN FAMILY WITH RACIST VIEWS IN A RACIST TOWN?? Who compensates her for the dealing with the knowledge that no matter how much her parents say they love her theres documented evidence showing they didn't WANT her...she was NOT who they CHOOSE she was who they GOT.

Who compensates her for that?

 

What the fuck is a "brown baby"?

What is the money supposed to do; are the lesbians going to pay their racist neighbors to be decent human beings?

 

My thoughts exactly.

 

This is what was once explored in the 90's rendition of The Outer Limits, where a couple visits a laboratory that designs children to the parent's specifications(looks and intelligence). They learned that such things come at a price in the end. This is where it is very evident that mistakes can occur. This is the future. I think that the couple should take the child and love her as their daughter. The lab made a mistake and they should acknowledge it or give the couple a freebie.

 

I wonder would they sue if the baby came out disabled?

 

No they wouldn't have sued, they would have terminated the pregnancy I imagine.

Look at that American couple that used a surrogate in China (I think) the outcome was twins and one of them was disabled, they jetted off with the well twin and left the disabled one behind with the surrogate. Which to me is unf**king believable and appalling. :smt018

 

I agree the money isn't going help that baby feel any more love, or change her color. If she's facing that much flack, maybe she could move to a more tolerant area. And she should get the money she spent back, not any more. It would be like me ordering a bacon cheeseburger and getting a regular burger, but I'm already home or back on the road. I'm enjoying my regular burger, but that's not what I ordered, so I'm calling and complaining. The fact that she waited so long and now people are talking, and all sudden now she wants "damages," kinda makes her look bad.

 

A baby isn't really a burger though is it, I say give her the money, the company did after all mess up and give her a cup of something she didn't order.

If I wanted another child and went to the man juice dispensary and ordered from the black guy menu.... but actually it turned out I'd ordered from the white guy menu:smt104 and I now have a child that is drastically different from my other children. Something I never intended, yes I would love my child but I'd definitely be pissed about it.

Loving the child and the company's fuck up are 2 different things entirely.

 

Exactly.

It's the principle behind it, I paid, they fucked up my order, reimbursement is due. Now let's twist it bit, like the woman that had a black and a white baby, it's an entirely different principle, she birthed both, that's cool as fuck, what an awesome story to have and be able to tell.

 

A child is not like the food we eat, old newspapers and magazines we throw away, or even toilet paper, for that matter.

 

Are you sure, because they all kinda resemble each other...

 

The company made a mistake and they must pay for it, this issue must be devoid of sentiment

 

My professor said these lawsuits always get dismissed because in the eyes of the law "a baby is always a blessing."

Practically speaking, it's hard to imagine how they could craft it such that it wouldn't be thrown out for technical deficiencies - cause absent a specific law providing for damages (like maybe race discrimination laws), generally the couple would have to be able to articulate - however speculative - their damages - her "difficulties" - into dollar amounts. If they're claiming negligence, simply being "wronged" by another isn't usually enough if you can't show tangible injury. If the doctor who delivered the baby screwed up and the baby was brain damaged as a result, you'd show estimates of the potential lifetime cost of caring for disabled, the loss of income that child will never receive, and for the child's pain and suffering. Even loved ones who get $ for being related to the injured person still have couch their pain in terms of loss - loss of consortium, etc. If they're framing their suit as an "I didn't get what I ordered" breach of contract - like if you were delivered the wrong color car, then generally if you can't show economic harm, then your only remedies is either give the child back or make them change the color. Even if they could translate racist neighbors into some kind of economic suffering, they'd have to show they tried to mitigate their damages - like they'd have to show there's nowhere in America they could reasonably move and raise the child without the economic hardship. Sure, "brown" kids are universally economically disadvantaged, but if that translated into a viable lawsuit, well ...

The sperm bank would likely get free representation by talented lawyers wanting to promote a controversial cause or promote themselves, making it harder for the couple to succeed with their suit. My guess is the lawyer who took their case did it for notoriety; even if it gets thrown out of court he's made headlines and the couple got people to listen to their bitching.

 

Finish your thought.

You open the floodgates and I want a motherfucking check too.

 

If the crux of her argument wasn't based on the hardship of the racial issue, this would be a legit response.

"That "adjustment" is a major justification for Cramblett's lawsuit. It cites the stress and anxiety of raising a brown girl in predominantly white Uniontown, Ohio, which Cramblett describes as intolerant. Some of her own family members have unconscious racial biases, the lawsuit says."

The heart of her argument is based on racial hardship, not just clinical fuck-up.

 

"well, .... things would be a lot different, wouldn't they?" lol

What I meant was if the couple's theory of their case is that they suffer economically because they live in a racist society, then isn't society to blame rather than the sperm?

Wouldn't the sperm bank argue "sue the neighbors, not us"? Their lawsuit is dumb on its face and we shouldn't give them press.

 

Yes but of course there is no legal redress for general racism, so the sperm bank gets to be the defendant.

The idea is also a slap in the face to every black parent from slavery to modern times who did their jobs under conditions more horrific than anything these women will ever face.

 

Best comment ever

 

Based on my limited knowledge of this incident, they do deserve compensation.

 

As a brown-skinned man, I find the idea of compensating these two over-privileged white women to be insulting. It devalues the worth of all dark skinned black people, sends the message that our lives are not worth as much as a white person's life, and brands us as an inferior race of people. We black people have to deal with racism every day; so do the white parents of biracial babies. These two harridans need to get to over themselves.

The most they should receive is an apology from the company and a free sperm donation from a Caucasian donor.