attraction to black men a bad fetish vs genuine attraction

I was reading some threads from a newer poster and she was told the guy senses that she sees him as a fetish, this has me thinking isn't an attraction like some of here on this forum express for the other to a certain extent a fetish?

There are many posts about certain physical and other qualities that we like about one another, is this not fetish? Maybe I am a bit confused, when does a line get crossed from a genuine feeling/attraction and a fetish? is there a difference?

To be honest my attraction to black men does have a lot to do with their physical qualities, like skin, eyes, lips, voice, confidence and so on. If this is somehow bad, I am just being honest. I see other men, but black men give me that special erotic feeling.

For me the attraction is sort of like a discovery of a sexual orientation, it just happened to me, it sort of came on like a cold. It has been somewhat beyond my control, and I can't help it.

I did not set out to be attracted, nor did I do it on a dare, revenge on daddy or for fashion or because friends all seem to be doing it.

I would never want to hurt anybody or potential black guy I meet. I know they are people too with feelings, but when guys and girls meet, I think we might be lying to ourselves if we say there is no physical attraction first a lot of the time, and then they get to know each other and go on from there.

Peace out (runs and ducks for cover).

 

*Sigh* So if you were strictly attracted to men of your own race for the same physical qualities & personality traits, would you consider that to be a fetish?

So what is it that you're confused about again?? Seems like you're more worried about how other people perceive you in regards to your attraction to black men.......

 

exactly......i totally agree with your 2nd pt especially.....

that pt needs to be further discussed

 

Its not a fetish is a preference. Just like some men prefer blondes or red heads. Don't worry about what other people think. Live your life the way you want and be good with it.

 

thats a very good pt.
people need to look at things from different view points.

 

I've been wondering about the WWBM attraction a bit myself. For that matter any attraction preference based specifically and solely on skin color.

Considering there are people of every shape and size, every socio-economic group, every religion, etc., etc.,. I kind of roll my eyes when I hear "black men have this" or "white women have that" because the attribute mentioned is never something specific to black men or white women.

Is the attraction really based on inherited personality or character traits? Or is it something much simpler? Some men prefer tall women, some women prefer short hair. Some women prefer black men, some men prefer white women. Either way, we all have preferences based on physical characteristics. Why is it that skin color based preference qualifies as a fetish?

Just a few random questions.

 

yeah, good point and question. im gonna take a stab at it.

the reason maybe they say its a fetish is because of their own insecurities...so they try to demean it.

if the person just had a "fetish"/"curiosity"...it would come out soon.....talking relationship situation

 

At least they're not calling it a 'sickness', like same sex couples have to deal with.

Or maybe they are and I just haven't noticed yet.

 

i dont think its overly bad to be curious......tbh.

 

I always thought to define a fetish it had to be an object that sparked the interest.

I don't think a whole person can strictly be called a fetish.

 

Tell that to the porn industry mofos make millions off of IR

 

The issue is that attraction, to me, is not a fetish. Attraction and a fetish are two different things. It seems like when someone is "turned on" by someone, it is a mental, physical and sometimes an emotional reaction. A fetish is like a quick fix. A fetish is more tactile. It is a trigger that is recognizable and new all at the same time. A fetish is consumable and can be gotten over. It is not long lasting. Those of us who have been rejected or deceived understand whether or not a person is that sincere. It isn't about insecurity, it's about safety. The heart of the matter is that that we, as human beings want to be appreciated as human beings. The world will look at humans only on the surface(skin color)but the world cannot look into our souls. The world doesn't know what joys or tragedies we have encountered in our lives unless we choose to share it. I am seen as a black man no matter where I go. It is my physical description. It isn't a sign that I am overly sexual, violent, ignorant, lacking intelligence, compassion and etc. No one knows until they meet me and the rest is up to them, as it will be for myself when I meet someone.

 

Bullseye...

 

lol....

 

I think the stereotypes attributed to different races/ethnic groups is when skin color would then be considered a fetish if that is the main reason a supposed attraction is based on. Consider how much of IR porn is based on strictly sexual stereotypes of the races involved.

 

Good points. I don't know if a simple preference is itself a fetish. When I think fetish, I hear dialogue from interracial porn where each performer is referencing the other's race in every statement, i.e. "white" this, or "big, black" etc... Something where the characteristic is mentioned in and of itself as the attraction, not a person who happens to have that characteristic. I'm not sure anyone can identify precisely what it is. But even if it is a fetish, people have a right to have fetishes, if that's what floats their boat.

 

As I always said....

If you have eyes and live in a society where a preference or standard of beauty is emphasized a great deal, physical appearance will be the first thing you see. Anything else....it's a lie and fodder since we don't want to come off as being a major asshole if we're brutally honest.

 

yeah i think you are rite......i guess that means my love for massaging and kissing a womans back is not a fetish

 

No. Massaging and kissing a woman's back is not a fetish; it's foreplay.

 

Great post, very well written. Like your style