18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating That You Have To Deal With

1. The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested.

2. Because we want to show how cavalier and blasé we can be to the other person, little psychological games like ‘Intentionally Take Hours Or Days To Text Back’ will happen. They aren’t fun.

3. A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing & are making a conscious effort to play it cool. Good luck deciphering between the two.

4. Making phone calls is a dying art. Chances are, most of your relationship’s communication will happen via text, which is the most detached, impersonal form of interaction. Get familiar with those emoticon options.

5. Set plans are dead. People have options and up-to-the-minute updates on their friends (or other potential romantic interests) whereabouts thanks to texts & social media. If you aren’t the top priority, your invitation to spend time will be given a “Maybe” or “I’ll let you know” and the deciding factor(s) will be if that person has offers more fun/interesting than you on the table.

6. Someone who hurt you isn’t automatically going to have bad karma. At least not in the immediate future. I know it only seems fair, but sometimes people cheat and betray and move on happily while the person they left is in shambles.

7. The only difference between your actions being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you. That’s it, that’s all.

8. “Let’s chill” & “Wanna hang out?” are vague phrases that likely mean “let’s hookup” — and while you probably hate receiving them, they’re the common way to invite someone to spend time these days, and appear to be here to stay.

9. Some people just want to hookup and if you’re seeking more than sex, they won’t tell you that they’re the wrong person for you. At least, not until after they score your prize. While human decency is ideal, honesty isn’t mandatory.

10. The text message you sent went through. If they didn’t respond, it wasn’t because of malfunctioning phone carrier services.

11. So many people are scared of commitment and being official that they’ll remain in a label-free relationship, which blurs lines and only works until it doesn’t. I’ve said it many times before, I’ll say it again – “we’re just talking” is opening the door for cheating that technically wasn’t cheating because, hey, you weren’t together together.

12. Social media creates new temptations and opportunities to cheat. The private messaging and options for subtle flirtation (e.g. liking of pictures) aren’t an excuse or validation for cheating, but they certainly increase the chances of it happening.

13. Social media can also create the illusion of having options, which leads to people looking at Facebook as an attractive people menu instead of a means of keeping contact with friends & family.

14. You aren’t likely to see much of someone’s genuine, unfiltered self until you’re in an actual relationship with him or her. Generally people are scared that sincerely putting themselves out there will result in finding out that they’re too available, too anxious, too nerdy, too nice, too safe, too boring, not funny enough, not pretty enough, not some other person enough to be embraced.

15. Any person you get romantically involved with you’ll either wind up staying with forever or breaking up with them at some point. These are equally terrifying concepts.

16. When dating, instead of expressing how they feel directly to you, a person is more likely to post a Facebook status or Instagram a Tumblr-esque photo of a sunset with a quote or song lyric of someone else’s words on it, and while it may not mention your name, it’s blatantly directed at you.

17. There are plenty of people who’ll have zero respect for your relationship and if they want the person you’re with, they’ll have no qualms with trying to overstep boundaries to get to ‘em. Girl code and guy code are wishful thinking and human code isn’t embedded in everyone.

18. If you get dumped, it’s probably going to be pretty brutal. People can cut ties over the phone and avoid seeing the tears stream down your face or end things via text and avoid hearing the pain in your cracking voice and sniffling nose. Send a lengthy text and voilà, relationship over. The easy way out is far from the most considerate.

 

Thus is a dismal but pretty accurate picture. Makes me reconsider my desire to get married.

 

I agree with 7 14 and 15. The rest sounds like teenage bs. Most grown ups I encounter ain't got time for all the manipulative games. With a job and other responsibilities the games are far too exhausting.

 

I can cosign this whole list and I'm out in the field everyday for the past few years.

 

Me too fam and i never experienced dating like this. I agree that a lot of people have short attention spans and may do distasteful shit but everything on that list seems a little extreme.

 

Sadly they are true in many cases.

 

Sigh. Recognised so many quirks in the list. Pretty crappy when you're not a game player yourself and put yourself out there and say what you mean and express your feelings

 

When I make generalizations you mofos lose your mind now its acceptable? Lol

 

Number 1 is so freakin' true... and the reason I always end up in relationships I'm a little "ho-hum" about, because if I am the more interested party it never works out :smt022

 

Doubt it. Your the bees knees

 

Maybe the secret to a great relationship is when NEITHER party is 100% invested? Did I just find the answer to the secrets of the universe? To the meaning of life?

 

Sounds like it!

 

HEY LADY!!! :smt026 :freehug:

 

Or change your definition of invested. I look at a relationship as an opportunity to explore certain facets of myself while helping to enrich my partner. I put no premium on the duration since everything in life is temporary. Enjoy all that we can while we can.

 

Hi, sunshine! How's my favorite nomad?

 

When I reaaaaaaally like a guy, I find it hard to just relax and be myself. I'm always "on guard", or trying to be the perfect version of myself. And it *always* fucks it up. But I honestly don't know how to not do it.

With guys I like, but haven't totally made up my mind about them yet, I'm way more relaxed and just go with the flow.

It's a real problem for me!

 

settling down for the time being actually! Just landed a job so I can save for the next adventure

 

Oh yeah totally know what you mean. I've come to the conclusion when I really "like" someone on the beginning that's me attaching who I hope they may be not who they actually are. Also my expectations are different as a guy, once over had sex with a woman I feel like everything after is just gravy. I also don't think in terms of long term since mentally it seems like more of a burden than a blessing which forces me to just enjoy each moment as they come.

 

Yeah, I think you may have hit the nail on the head there. I should start focusing on flaws from the beginning so I can relax lol

 

Or just recognize that putting so much hope in a stranger is unhealthy. Enjoy their company, enjoy the good time you have with them, and feel confident in the fact that nothing is perminent so why attach so much emotion into something as fickle as human behavior.