Attraction to Black Men = Perversion?

I'd like to know if anyone else has had a similar experience to me:

I've found that when I express to friends in a conversational/casual way that I'm attracted to black men, I'm met with jokes or shock or questions. The general assumption from society seems to be that it's a sexual perversion, that it's all about big black dicks, that it's some sort of joke. It's never just accepted as an ok/normal thing.

My good friends know about my preferences and they're totally fine with it - but there are still jokes when it comes up, or it's assumed that I'll have the hots for any black man that crosses our paths, regardless of whether I find him attractive or not.

I'm even afraid to tell a black guy that I may be dating that I prefer black men, in case he thinks it's weird or a fetish and I'm sexualising him.

Personally, my love for black men feels natural and pure and the LAST thing it feels to me is dirty or perverted. I just hate the assumption that if I like black guys, it must be about big dicks


Has anyone else had that kind of reception?

 

If white women's attraction to black men is perversion, then so is white men's attraction to asian women. That's all I gotta say about that one.....

Yeah, black men are SeXy aS hELL. Ignore other people's hang ups, and live your life. I'm sure it was either a jealous woman or an insecure man who reacted like that to you.

Yes, I've gotten that reaction too. People get all wound up about people who go after what they want instead of trying to please everyone around them. I've never heard of a single man pursuing a woman he was not FIRST and FOREMOST sexually attracted to - THEN emotionally attracted to.... so why it is an issue for a woman to do the same is beyond my comprehension.

The best advice I can give you is to simply ignore them. Do not give other people the favor of caring about their reception of your life.

 

Yeah, it doesn't create big problems, I guess it's just disappointing.

I need to get myself a fine black boyfriend and prove it's about more than sex

 

But that avatar does

 

You need not prove anything to anyone. Do you ever see a man going around saying, "I need to get myself a fine (fill in the blank adjective) girlfriend and prove it's about more than sex"? My point is stop caring what other people think. This is about gender equality a lot more than it is about racial equality. Think about it!

And yes, let me say it again: BLACK MEN ARE HOT. There is no need for me to justify to anyone why I feel that way, and for people of either gender to sexually or romantically pursue someone that they DON'T feel this about... is completely illogical, pointless and a waste of time, in my book. Therefore your people's jokes and assumptions are basically a red flag indicator of their sexual repressions. God forbid anyone be honest that sexual attraction and personal chemistry is important to them.

 

I disagree, I don't think it is about gender equality. I think it's about stereotypes, and in this case a racial stereotype.

How other people think about my preferences doesn't influence my preferences - it just disappoints and frustrates me, and I wish I could show them differently, prove that they're wrong.

I don't think people's reactions are about sexual repression, I think they're about ignorance - especially in Australia.

 

I can always count on you to have something honest and insightful to say, Tam. You summed it up!

 

Black men age better physically. They have baby soft skin on top of rock hard muscles. They tone up better than white men. They don't wrinkle in the sun. They have deeper more masculine voices. They have sexy lips. Darker skin enhances a smile greatly. And yes, for any given height a black man is on average better-endowed than his white counterpart. In addition, black men are much more confident and secure in themselves and in how they act around me, which is HOT. Now tell me again why I should not love black men, why it is a perversion, and why a relationship cannot grow from such an attraction.... I don't see any men being ridiculed for preferring a girlfriend with equivalent feminine attributes.... nope.

 

Yeah, it's in part racial, because of black people being a minority and women being expected to not choose a mate on obvious physical attractiveness. If the black men were the majority in a region, and they were with white women, there would be no ridiculing the women. It is definitely I believe both gender and race based here. But to me the gender inequality stands out. Might be just me.

 

Attraction to anyone is going to raise questions. Especially to those people who are either not in a relationship, or their curiosity stems from jealousy. Or, they are hiding the fact that they are attracted to you and do not know how to express it. I often got questioned as to what women I am attracted to years ago. I tell them and simply state the type of women I am attracted to and the conversation ends there. There is no shame in one's attraction to a person. No one has the right to judge a person for it.

 

But you are a man. You are expected to have a sexual appetite. It's ok for you to be attracted to white women. It's not ok for a white woman to be attracted to you. See the difference?

If I'm wrong, then I'd like some of the men on here to please share their experiences of being ridiculed for being attracted to white women, and if any of the comments were based on white women's sexuality. Be specific.

 

To be honest, I don't think my friends are ignorant... it's just that knee-jerk reaction, that social norm, that widely accepted stereotype that comes to mind. I think most people are perfectly aware that it's not "truth", I just wish it wasn't always the initial reaction, even if it is said in a joking way.

 

I see where you're coming from, and I think there's truth in that. But my point is more about the "black men as sexual objects" stereotype that is perpetuated by every person who hears I like black men.

 

Yes, this is perpetuated because a) black men ARE better endowed, lets not kid ourselves here, and b) there is an unspoken man rule, a double standard rule that women will be ridiculed for attempting to have the same kind of sexual freedom and sexual satisfaction as men. Like I've said before, I'm here to speak my truth, not be politically correct. We're all adults here. Maybe not many of you will be willing to stand up and AGREE with what I've said, but how many of you are willing to stand up and DISAGREE?

All healthy long term relationships begin with a healthy dose of sexual attraction.....

 

I've gotten the same dumb questions. "Does she buy you things white girls got money" "white girls love giving head they never say no" "white girls let you get away with whatever you want you lucky" and my favorite "I guess you had a bad relationship with your mama huh"
The stupidity knows no bounds, its not ignorance it's stupidity, it's 2014 this shit ain't new ir taboo any more you just have a lot of assholes who refuse to get pas their own hang ups that they apply to everyone else.

Glad to see you posting Whik

 

I don't want to get into the black-men-have-big-dicks debate, but I'm still sticking with that being a stereotype, not a truth.

I do agree that there are sexual double standards. But that's also not the point I'm trying to make.

When I talk about being attracted to black men, or ANY man, I'm not talking about sex or sexual attraction. Physical attraction and sexual attraction are different, in my mind. My argument is that I don't want SEX to be the main assumption when talking about attraction and preference.

I love sex, but it's only one component of attraction and relationships, and it's not the first thing on my mind when I meet someone. But maybe that's just me.