Ladies and Gentlemen what is your type?

Sometimes we don't see it happening. With the ex-fiance, things were good, it's after the first year-ish things started going downhill. Because of that first year and how I saw the good in him, I stayed. Tried to fix things until he started blaming me for being clingy and stuff... he didn't complain about that at first, so deuces. :smt039

:heart: :freehug: For too long lol.

HE was the booty call.

 

Ha ha. I been one too.

 

just to toot my own horn: I've never been accused of being any of those either.

I can't see how ppl think they can sorta "force" themselves on someone by being controlling. It's common sense to know that this would only have the opposite effect (pushing them away), but I guess emotion can make ppl unable to realize that

That's romance 101: don't try to force it!

...Especially for a guy. I would figure most guys would associate being too needy with being unmanly

If a woman was needy though, it wouldn't turn me off in itself. If she's worth it she's worth it, needy or not. I'd just try to reassure her: Got work to do, and if I win, we both win

Nobody's perfect

 

You don't know what you're accused of behind your back kid

 

I've been told I can be a bit needy/clingy, but I seem to attract men that need/like a lot of personal space. I'm not like that. I'm very relationship-oriented. I prefer to do some things alone (shopping, for one) and I like periods of solitude. But I prefer the company of my partner more than being alone or with others.

When I'm seeing someone who lives 10 minutes away and we only see each other on weekends (or longer) - that's not acceptable to me.

 

well, if that's the case, obviously, anyone can say anything lol

(Also doesn't "accuse" imply doing it directly?)

anyway, I seriously doubt anyone would accuse me of being "needy, clingy, possessive, controlling, passive aggressive, jealous, insecure"

nobody's perfect, but I'm pretty sure those aren't my issues :mrgreen: (maybe a lil passive aggressive - that's an art. Beats being plain ol' aggressive in this context)

You've been accused of being those things tdk?

 

I have less tolerance for a passive aggressive woman than an aggressive one, but that's just me of course.

 

Hell yeah I know I'm the jealous type and a little possessive. Like in my relationships no new male friends allowed and no hanging out alone with current ones. No one has ever left because of it but its been brought up fam.

 

where is the TRUST?

 

Are you serious, love? The only reason I can imagine a girl not leaving after hearing that is because she's too young to know better. If I don't give you a reason to doubt me, why even take it there?

Good thing you like em young cause I don't know many (any?) grown women that that would fly with.

 

Why tempt fate?

 

You can't build a solid future with someone you don't trust. I'll never live my life investigating my partner...if I don't trust you, then there's a reason for it and we'll go our separate ways. I'm far from perfect, but one thing I don't waiver on is loyalty. If I'm yours, I'm yours. Period. No need to second guess a thing. IMO if my partner can't trust that, then he's questioning my character and has no business being in a relationship with me. Jmo.

 

Yeah, I couldn't deal deal either. No new guy friends, I could kind of understand that, since my circle of friends is rather stable, and meeting a new guy could give off the wrong idea.
But, I'd never give up time with the guy friends I do have. If you tell me that when I'm in Newfoundland, sure. But that'd never fly in DC.

I'm the kind of person that if you ask me to do something, I won't do it. Make me think it's my idea, and I will. Tell me I CAN'T do something, I'll do it just to say I did. I've turned down guys for someone I liked but was not officially with. It's been about a year now, there hasn't been anyone else.

 

I'm kinda the same. I'm ok with old friends because they were in his life before he met me (and hopefully, if anything was going to happen between the two of them, they had time to explore that before me), but I'm not onboard with him hanging out with new female friends alone, particularly if I've never met them. I think that's just a way to protect your relationship.

 

Everyone indeed has different ideas of what is ideal in regards to texting,calling and meeting vs alone time, and hanging out with friends.

I was in a relationship where I felt smothered by several calls per day,but also was in one,where the guy felt smothered,despite our interaction becoming less anyway.

As for platonic friends of the opposite gender it makes sense to not make new ones,as you barely know the person and the vibe that could develop.
With established /already existing friends,out of courtesy and to help build trust, personally I suggest to both friend and my partner to hang out together.
That can be done a few times until hopefully my partner sees the friendship is indeed harmless and that he doesn't need to worry.
I'd also like to be introduced to his already existing female friends,at least if it's a close friendship,but if the trust is there,then it's not a necessity,just a preference.

 

Haven't experienced much of it, but I don't think I would like it either. But I've done it as a tool to counter others' bullshit. It's pretty much the coolest way to get to them when it's appropriate imho.

I think I described one such episode in an earlier thread here

 

that's no good dude. You should just feel her out (and her lifestyle) before you get too involved.

You're setting yourself up for a world of hurt by going that route you describe. If she ever wants to hurt you, she knows exactly how

And then you can't do a damn thing about it, other than what you would've done before you laid down the ridicuous rules anyway. (ie dump her) What's your other recourse? :mrgreen: Don't end up jail heheh

Gotta be more secure. Just pick'em right from the jump, know what your love is worth, don't invest too much of yourself too early, and try to have fun all along the way

And if it ain't fun, bail.

I'm no expert, but that stuff is simple and obvious for anyone with any experience at all

 

I would never say what you can or can't do but I will let you know what makes me feel comfortable. If it doesn't align with what makes you comfortable then we aren't for one another and that's ok too.
New guys don't want to be friends they want to fuck and usually with existing friends that's the case too. It's not a matter of trust for me just avoiding drama.

 

I think you're misunderstanding me fam. She can do what she wants I don't own her. But if they choose to be with me that's what I need to be happy and comfortable. If it's not what she wants she can always find someone else. It's all about the right fit.

 

oh okay. Still, feeling her out (and her lifestyle) before you get too involved is prolly the way to go

Plus, if she's accusing you of being possessive, I'd still say there's a problem. don't wear your heart on your sleeve :mrgreen:

They don't even find that shit sexy

It's anti-climactic