Ladies and Gentlemen what is your type?

nah. i don't have a second for possessive, insecure and needy men, even if they tick other boxes.

 

That's what annoys me about people over all at this point. No patience for others anymore. I agree dude came across as needy but maybe no one corrected his behavior before. We all think certain behavior is normal before we're checked. For years I refused to apologize to any girl I was with because that's what I saw growing up. Admission of wrong doing was.the ultimate sin. It took good friends helping me with that to get over that.

 

if there is an element of distrust (checking phone), calling me twice a day and sending me passive aggressive texts if the phone isn't answered (like i've nothing better to do than run to my phone), generalisations that all women are this and all women are that and generally trying to guilt me into seeing him every day (i do have a life with kids and friends), then no, it has nothing to do with patience at all, it comes down to what i am willing to accept and ignore and what i am not. coming from a marriage that was laced with the same behaviour, i have zero tolerance for it. and to be honest, fella was married twice so if this is normal behaviour for him, i can assure you one of the exwives would have said it to him...and for the record, i did tell him countless times that i did not like any of the above. believe me, i'm not backwards going forwards when it comes to that shit

 

i ve seen all that before, too. that dude is a controlfreak, not trusting and overjealous. happy you learned your lesson tarshi, such things are hard to change, even with a ton of patient, and in most cases it never does.

 

You did the right thing and I'm glad you did Tarshi.
I made the mistake to tolerate the behaviour you described for way too long because I had no experience with it.
One thing I learned the hard way is that it usually gets worse.
Way worse.

 

true that.

 

thanks ladies...i knew there would be others who'd have the same experience and feelings about it. :smt058

good news is that i'm going on a hot date with a single dad on the 16th who just happens to be Jamaican. straight back on the horse (no pun intended) :mrgreen:

 

shiiit if he's Jamaican be prepared to deal with that horse woman lol

 

What's funny is I can almost guarantee that everyone of us has been called these things at some point in any relationships we've had. Most times people just need reassurance, its really hard to be exposed and naked with someone.
Not saying I know the specifics of what any of you have gone through but its something I constantly see from the outside looking in

 

Umm, no.

 

Oh yeah? How would you know if someone thought of you that way?
People tend to be hypersensitive when something is being done to them but pay little attention to how their actions effect others.

 

I can honestly say that I have never been accused of being needy, clingy, possessive, controlling, passive aggressive, jealous, or insecure. Its not my nature. I can not tolerate being smothered. I am not the jealous type. I don't care if the man in my life has platonic female friends. I have never gone through a guy's phone or emails....etc., etc.

 

I doubt many of the women on here have never out right accused men they've dated of those things either. A lot of things people keep to themselves until they can't take it anymore and just bounce.
And your clingy and possessive may not be the same to someone else. I got a friend who absolutely hates texting, he thinks anything more than a phone call a day is too much. I have another who thinks dinner on a daily basis should be the norm. The terms are pretty much subjective and I find that most would rather pass judgement than to simply express how they feel.

 

Yeah, it's very subjective.

My ex-fiance was super busy and actually made no effort to fit me into his plans at all. If I left him to do what he wanted to, we'd be in a relationship by name only but never actually see each other. We both lived on campus, and he lived only a floor up from me.

The fact I wanted to at least see him once a week made me clingy. I was needy and insecure, because I wanted him to "prove" he wanted me around. The fact I asked him to put a little effort into the relationship and asked him to fit me into his schedule somewhere was me just being controlling.

So then I've had enough of trying to explain myself... I knew what I wanted, and he didn't meet that. Rather than try to change it, I dumped him. Think that taught him I didn't need to cling to him for happiness, and that I was contently secure on my own.

 

Thank you for making my point more clear. Great example of what I'm talking about.

 

You think any woman would tolerate that? They lived that close but once a week was too much for him? And the dude that cant even text his girl to say goodnight? Lol damn

 

You'd be surprised. Case in point she's a good chick and even she put up.with it for awhile.

 

yeah until he ran out of explanations. The only way I see any of them putting up with it long term is if they have another guy or there is some substantial distance between them. But NEVER texting to say goodnight? THAT girl was only a booty call.

 

Wtf is up with this phone?