Been in the Denver/Boulder/Fort Collins area. Something I noticed about dating here.

Read a lot.
Worked on getting a CCNA
Helped my grandmother out.
Lots of lifting.
Job networking.
Lot of arguments with family.

Frustrating time for sure. Funny enough my last employer in Atlanta said I wasn't the right fit. Now I work for a FFortune 500 company and have had Google Amazon and Facebook contact me. So I had to move to change my career situation. I now have that outlook more in my life in other aspects.

 

Really happy for kid. Very proud of you. You persevered and you should live where you want.

 

I'm gonna go all in: you are handsome, in shape and have a god career. I think you need to work on you. You can not move from your problems, they move with you.

I agree, SA is a tiny little city, contrary to what someone else said. I wouldn't put my roots there. Austin is really progressive and a fun place.

I see you as a westcoaster, not just talking. I think its the best fit for you. You fit right in and would do splendidly here. SD preferably, I think is your scene.
But seriously, spend some time in therapy might help you sort things out. Not soul searching, but goals, what is important to you etc. That may help you decide what the next steps are. Most companies pay for 5 sessions, for free for you. I did that 2 years ago when I was facing burnout. We didn't chat about childhood and other shit that I don't think works. He simply helped me sorting out my priorities and where I want to do/go. It was very well spent time. That coming from someone that comes from a culture that do not accept this sort of stuff...

You might have to try several different ones before you find one the gets what you want. I didnt want analyzing, that is not my problem, just a sounding board for priorities etc. It worked out great.

 

Therapy? Damn all dude said is he wants a city that's ir friendly. If his goal is to find a good work life balance and doesn't seem to be finding it where he is what's wrong with moving to a place that facilitates that? I commend him for trying to find solutions opposed to bitching about the problem.
And to the women you guys are in a completely different position than the men on here. It's a lot easier talking when you live in areas that are ir friendly especially bustling cities like LA and Denver where educated good looking bm are plentiful and are more than likely to be open to ir dating.

 

Couldn't agree more.

BB you talk a lot about your "style" and honestly it screams WC to me. Definitely more SD than LA or NorCal, but WC through and through. You're a handsome man and while your style is a little different (not bad at all, just seems very preppy), I see it out here a lot. Neither that style, nor you being a bm, would hold you back with women out here.

Wherever you end up going, stay true to you and you'll find happiness I think. Good luck on finding what it is you're looking for :freehug:

 

I remember my first serious attempt at writing a novel. I was a Freshman and it was a science fiction story set in the East Coast, but the most of it was spent in the Wassatch Mountains near Denver. The story was a typical cold war story with science fiction thrown in. It was a good story and it was a big story. So big I had to form a production committee. I wrote the story while the committee gathered information. The decision to use the info was at my discretion. I chose Denver because I was a fan of the show Dynasty and thought Denver was a good place. I am sure it is. I had once wanted to go to Los Angeles to become an actor. However, white actors are favored in the West Coast, while non-whites are getting work in the East Coast. I have yet to see the West Coast. I have, and always will be an East Coast guy.

 

Thank you! I try and stay hungry.

I appreciate it!

I have yet to hang out in SD. I've been to LA...full of smog lol.

I like the idea of a bit of guidance and counseling to prioritize what is most important to me. I really appreciate feedback and ask questions for it and trying not to take criticism is something I'm still trying to get better at.

In all honesty though I think I overthink enough to know what my next moves are.

As far as problems...hmm I don't have any deep rooted problems. Don't think of me like that please. I just want to be in a place I feel comfortable in. I'm in a city where I have no friends and family. I have friends and I put myself out there, but of course it takes time.

The biggest frustration for me has been in the dating scene. Not that I can't get dates, but rather the women I want are either not here or not available. I've been on a few dates the past few months BTW. Nothing clicked and I know most women here don't fit what I want.

Also the fact that in many areas that have issues with interracial relationships I have to work 'harder' so to speak. I talk to some of these women, get numbers, etc and some flake or just "fake nice". Not ALL of the women, but a good bit that makes me go "WTF"? I see women reject me and see the type of men they go for...TDK and I talked about this.

I have a lot of things going on for me. I don't need someone to disqualify me for my race. I don't have time for that sort of shit in my life.

I'm not depressed or anything, but I've felt a strong feeling of displacement since moving here, much of it was masked while being in a relationship, and then those emotions came when that relationship dissipated.

At first when I read it I thought FG meant therapy like I'm a nutcase or I have deep emotional issues unsolved in my life, but I think she means something more on the lines of life coaching.

Also, yes being in a place that is IR friendly and overall a better fit for me overall would be great alongside my career. I feel right now I only have my career, which I can use to pay for luxuries like travel, nice food, mma training, experiences, but you've guys heard me complain about my frustrations of living here.

I came to a point, like you said TDK, instead of complaining about it then make a change in my life. That's all.

 

I was gonna say the women in Denver I saw tended to be the type I like...kinda dress preppy / elegant look, natural beauty, etc. I love that. Also it seems that they appreciated the educated brothers.

I was at a few places downtown and got hit on a few times. I was talking to people on the street during the day. Everyone seemed friendly. Even when I visited the Rocky Mountains. I'm not sure why people were so friendly. Maybe having that shared experience. It was refreshing.

It also helped that I saw one of my college buddies there who I haven't seen in a decade and he made me feel welcome and told me about the city.

Yo I'm all about that east coast prep style

Also when I mean style I don't just mean how I dress. I'm very cerebral so to speak. Having conversation energizes me and I like to have deep conversations with people.

Thank you though. I recall you telling me that before to stay true to myself. <3

I love the East Coast feel, but I haven't been to SD or San Fran or those places so my west coast experiences are limited. I appreciate the suggestions everyone is giving me.

I feel Denver has an east coast feel, but certainly progressive and in the right direction. Having a lot of tech companies, outdoor activities, beautiful white women, great food, and lots of things to do....it seems up my alley.

I forgot you lived up there. Sorry. I did it a bit spur of the moment. I'll hit you up on FB.

 

Is your degree in computer science?

 

I didn't finish but I work in that field obviously. Technology is so fast that training and certs > formal education.

I have friends who didn't complete college making 90K in Texas. A friend of mine in DC making 150K, same situation.

Still hesitant about moving. I want to 'level up' more first ya know.

 

ur favorite song....on the road again

 

I picture the theme song from the incredible hulk lol

 

i would have to agree your style is more east coast preppy...life coaching is a great idea coming from FG...denver is VERY friendly...#8 on places to move to in the USA...all four season...all sports teams...city living...mountain adventure...anything and everything goes here in colorado...there is literally something for everyone...plus it's a great center hub to get you anywhere in the US on a direct flight...

 

good one

 

Thanks for understanding what I meant. Lol. I'm happy that I did that life coaching thing 2 years ago. It really helped a lot.

 

Rocky Mountain Loving

I've been to Colorado a half dozen times. I think an influx of people for the west coast has modified opinions there to be more liberal. As far as Austin/Texas in general. I've got a white lady friend in Austin though I'm in D/FW and I don' think twice about it. She's late 30 and I'm late 40s. I've a native Texan who lived in Houston, D.C., (3 1/2 years)and Atlanta (5 years). I honestly think interracial dating is better in Dallas/FW and Houston then D.C. and Atlanta because the sisters are more prominent/demonstrative in those traditional black metros. You might get more stares from them than white folks.

A second observation -in general, dating white women is being where they are in more abundance and you (black men) are not can sometimes be very good for us.

Another truism is once you get west of I-35, black folks get scarce! Look at Austin/San Antonio/OKC/KC/Minneapolis/Denver. The two metro areas west of Louisiana with significant black populations are Houston and Dallas/Fort Worth. But both are metros where black men have done well and are accommodating, relatively speaking, to minorities. Both have had black and woman mayors though neither are big cities with majority black populations. So statistically, this alone can improve dating chances because there is more in the selection pool!

 

West Coast caveat...

I know you been once. But do the research on cost of living my man! I've also been to all the big cities in Cali, Portland, Seattle and Vancouver, British Columbia. Living out west, without the rights-sized paycheck or a nice net worth, will cramp your dating life.

I've got family in L.A. and a good friend in S.D. Those in L.A. have been there 20 plus years before the last housing bubble and she is an attorney. So she can handle the life. The other is living FRUGALLY in S.D. because she has no other choice. And the bay area is even more expensive! Rental housing is extremely tight.

 

That is just being ignorant of facts.

Cities in the U.S. by Population

1. New York, N.Y. 8,143,197
2. Los Angeles, Calif. 3,844,829
3. Chicago, Ill. 2,842,518
4. Houston, Tex. 2,016,582
5. Philadelphia, Pa. 1,463,281
6. Phoenix, Ariz. 1,461,575
7. San Antonio, Tex. 1,256,509
8. San Diego, Calif. 1,255,540
9. Dallas, Tex. 1,213,825
10. San Jose, Calif. 912,332

 

I know perfectly well how many live in SA, and above stats.
The mentality is very small town. And I think it is small. That is my opinion.

 

The best city for IR is where there is a military base