IR Couples Increasing But Not Marrying

http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-adv-interracial-love-20130901,0,1081986.story

 

Sad since sticking together is more than just living together.

 

It is the same thing only without tax incentives in some cases.

 

I can see the point of this article but marriage rates are tumbling in general throughout the west. Even WM and WW are marrying each other in much smaller numbers. Both the US and UK have a divorce rate of near enough 50% so even the ones that do are likely to fail anyway.

 

Maybe people are realizing you don't need a piece of paper,a 2nd prom and a ring to confirm your love for someone else?

 

Count me as one of them, don't want to get married mainly because I don't want to go through a divorce. The reasons you gave come a very close 2nd.

 

:smt038

Precisely sir!

 

But for those who enjoy the romance of the traditional way of courtship and dating, and the fact that it was the way it was done before them in their families, that piece of paper is another way to make a case for that couple. I mean, the Richard and Mildred Loving had that piece of paper all the way when they were arrested and then they took their case to the Supreme Court and won. That piece of paper is valid. Yes, there are more couples in civil unions these days and many of these couples also have children born of these unions. Love is love, by emotions and actions. I sometimes think about meeting that woman. I think about the dates and things we would do together. The conversations we would have. The ring and surprise proposal. Meeting her folks to get their blessing. Our folks meeting together. The planning the wedding and honeymoon(I had thought about a sunrise wedding, weather permitting, of course). Yes, I still cling to those traditions. But it is only a thought or a pipe dream.

 

That's all very sweet Gorath, and I think it's nice to keep with traditions that are important to you. I think the idea of a "forever love" is so romantic, but I know I don't need a marriage certificate to feel loved or loyal. IMO that paper changes nothing except your filing status. I can tell you...there was no difference in my relationship the day after my wedding, from the 10 years prior with my ex. Our relationship changed in the eyes of the law...that's about it.

I think with divorce rates as high as they are, it's just more important than ever to protect yourself in marriage. Protect what you've earned in your life. Doesn't mean the love is any less, it just means we need to be smart...especially when we're blinded by love!

 

My next question is; how does one know for sure if this is the person they want to spend and share their lives with, paper, or not? Actor Kurt Russell and actress, author Goldie Hawn have been together for many years(she's older than him)and have raised children together and have not legally married to this day. Kurt mentioned the statement that you did about not needing that paper. My sister is in a relationship with a guy she knew in high school. They live together and she carries his last name. I guess it works for her. It was predicted that civil unions will be more frequent than legal marriage. That prediction was made more than a decade ago.

 

divorce can be quite easy if both parties concerned act like reasonable adults.

me, once divorced and I would marry again

 

couples progressive enough to "date outside the box" are prolly more likely to see marriage for what it is - an antiquated tradition with less purpose in today's world that it had in the past

Much of it is a real scam, such as handing big money to third parties for worthless rocks to wear on your finger

No kids? no need for marriage

 

I don't think marriage is any more important just because you've got kids. Children need to be raised in a loving, nurturing, supportive environment, but I don't think marriage is necessarily a key component in that. I know many happy couples with children, who choose not to marry. I was a part of one until we finally married when our daughter was 2 1/2 IMO marriage is truly just a price of paper. It doesn't make a house a home, it doesn't make a couple happy, it doesn't make people decent parents...it's just a formality in the eyes of the law. And unfortunately many people go down that road because of tradition and what society dictates as the normal progression of a relationship, instead of actually following their hearts. Been there done that

By no means am I against marriage, I'd absolutely go down that path again with the right man, I just don't like the expectations put on relationships, trying to label and define everything. I've seen good relationships go bad over that kind of nonsense.

 

Preach the word sister..

 

so true, so true. I have a feeling that marriage ruins a lot of relationships exactly because of the expectations and the big "anticlimax" of finally tying the knot