'Fifty Shades of Grey' casts Dakota Johnson and Charlie Hunnam

lippy thinks that this site has desensitized you...keep in mind WHO made these books best sellers...these books were written for the everyday house wife...working woman...many of which have fallen into the hum drum life of being married...no sizzle or sauce...very little sex...a life of laundry, dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, taking kids to and from school and then off to soccer practice...

for some women this is very soft porn that ignited interest...there is a claim that this book series is responsible for the baby boom of the current generation

one person's fantasy inspired world does not always compare to the deep seeded life of dom/dismissive

my personal choice for the male lead would have been Bradley cooper

 

I would have made a better Christian Grey. Besides, I have my own methods of bringing BDSM on the table.

Wait....what the hell am I saying!?

 

It's based on twilight fan fiction.

And please remember that no matter what it's done for the harried house wives sex life..
There are those who actually take BDSM seriously. And who live it as a lifestyle choice.
There is a reason people find those books offensive just for the attitude that it was written in.

If you think your Dominant is so incredibly messed up, '50 shades of fucked up', or however it's put..
Then leave. Get the fuck out. You do not continue to...whatever the hell they did.
Her attitude toward Grey was that she thought he was all screwed up and sick. But she wanted what he was selling.

Holy cow.

Can't tell you how many posts I've come across from these housewives that start with: "I read 50 shades and I found this website. It's not anything like the books and you all suck."

Would you like a really big box of Kleenex? It's all your going to get.

 

I know a co-worker of mine who loves the book and I asked her if she considers it the most rough form BDSM and she responds, "Yes."

My response was..."You sure you know that with absolutely certainty?"

 

And that right there is my beef with the whole thing.
You read a badly written book and based on that you think you understand the everything there's is to know about it. And then perhaps you find people who play harder or into way different fetishes and all the sudden it's this whole thing.
I don't know what these bored housewives think they can really learn about BDSM from a book written with vanilla sex and with a bad interpretation of the whole dynamic.
Well..I guess they can learn to draft a way too long contract that defeats the whole purpose of what they are trying to do.

Yay them.

 

agreed! well at least the ones on tv, i know some real bikers who wouldnt even think about this topic.

 

I might be totally ignorant asking this question, but I'm asking because I don't understand. So for those who practice BDSM or dom/sub roles, please don't be offended. Educate, please.

What about the lifestyle or practice do you find attractive, desirable and necessary? I have a different perception, from the little I know about it. I don't like to be controlled. I also don't like pain. I think it would feel wrong for me to either exercise control over someone or to be controlled. But maybe I fail to understand what it's all about.

Anyone care to share?

 

My definition may seem generic, because I do not practice BDSM. Like the act of sex, BDSM is about letting go of yourself. Or gaining control. Sometimes it can help you open your mind to other pleasures and possibilities. And like anything else, you start slowly. You don't have to use pain(whips, cat-o-nine-tails or paddles). You can use things like a blindfold for sight deprivation. A feather, a silk scarf or a necktie for touch sensitivity. If you are the one in control in this manner, you can do whatever you like and the receiver does nothing but enjoy the sensations he is experiencing. If you look at films from the 30's, 40's 50's and all the way to today, a person is tied up or restrained. I guess the screenwriters of these films have had bondage fantasies and didn't realize it. It is, I think about stages in pleasure that benefit the giver and the receiver. Only a true devotee of BDSM goes that far.

 

For me, in my particular experience, it is about being able to let go and let someone else be in charge. It's a very hard line to walk because I've been hurt in ways that would seem counterintuitve to the whole thing. It's very much an inborn trait in myself. Many Dominants are dominant by nature. This doesn't mean that they are bossy to everyone. Just like most submissives are not merely doormats to everyone else.

The little that you know about it most likely stems from two things. It's not for you. And that's fine. You like what you like and you stick with it. For the most part, we don't initiate a pushing of boundaries as human beings. We get comfortable and if it's not something that interests us, we don't pursue it. I would never even think about learning fire swallowing. Not my thing. Don't want to do it. Don't really want to know about it. I think it's reckless and probably more than a lot stupid. I'm sure many, many people would view my sex life the same. In fact, I know for a fact people do.
The second part of it is because our media, ever driven my sales and profits, will sensationalize it.
When you think of BTK, what comes to mind? Let me just clear the air and say: If what we did was anything remotely close to that, none of us would do it. Including responsible and compassionate Dominants. So whatever you see in the media (this book included), it isn't necessarily reflective of anything in it's entirety.

Not everyone likes to be controlled. Not everyone likes to control. It's not only about that. I don't really like to be controlled. If some random person walked up to me on the street and say, "hey bitch..drop to your knees and kiss my feet" he would not get a very nice response. The letting go and being controlled in a agreed upon dynamic is far different from say, doing something in the military because you have to.
It isn't all about pain. For many it is. I don't think there is any one answer as to why pain is a turn-on for some people. For people who do pain play, or for myself, it's about pushing beyond what I think I can do and also it comes with a massive endorphan rush. While this is really fun, it takes a certain way of dealing with the drop. Again, it's not going to make a lot of sense. Especially with the whole overall agreement that you must be less than sane to even want it. The only way I can put it into a way that makes any sense and might help highlight the way it works is to compare it to marathon runners. It's nuts what they do and what they put their bodies through. Most wouldn't do it nor would we want to. Personal choice.

Within the world of BDSM, many things compromise the total makeup of the complete picture. For people who have no inclination toward it, it won't be anyting that ever makes sense no matter how you try.
Most of us who live within it are just fine with that. What we decry is the judgement from people who don't want it and turn around and say because they don't, then it's all bad.
Some of it is bad. Some people are really messed up and do many messed up things to other people in the name of it. Much like how Christianity has many crazy people who do the most outragous things in the name of God.

The bottom line is there is safety protocol that people who aren't insane follow so those that don't want to hurt while hurting can do one while avoiding the other.
Not everyone follows it. Most who do think those that don't will pay a huge price. This isn't something that you go into without thinking long and hard about. You assess the risks, you define your space, and then you forge ahead carefully.

 

For those who may have an interest into real BDSM, I want to turn you on to a phenomenal author & acquaintance. This Man has got the goods & all of his books are amazing.

http://www.shakirrashaan.com/The_Awakening.html

 

Thats one film I won't be watching!
I tried the first book, and got about half way in. I know it was just a bit of eroticism, but the writing was truly awful in my opinion, and I didn't give two craps about the characters, so I gave up!
Maybe the film will be better, but I can't even be bothered giving it a chance after that hideous book lol.