Love Virgin

I understand how important it is to have an emotional connection to that special someone in your life. Building an emotional connection seems to be a very important aspect of establishing a good relationship it even makes the sex more enjoyable. However when someone has gone through the trials and tribulations of several relationships it does take a toll on them emotionally as well as their willingness to open up and become vulnerable to someone else. While this is understandable, it could present a challenge and maybe a hardship to the new SO. To me a Love Virgin is someone that may have developed an emotional connection with someone to a certain extent, but has never been heart broken or cried over a break up. This person has experienced the other aspects of a relationship, and yet their heart has never been touched and thus a Love Virgin. Maybe this person is too cold and distant to love or just maybe this person has yet to meet that special someone. Maybe the Love virgin has experienced relations with partners that were too reluctant to love unequivocally due to the fact that they were once heart broken. Due to the fact that a virgin heart has never been broken before, maybe it would be easier for them to give 100% of themselves to the right person, without punishing them for bad past relations. What do you think ladies? How would you feel about getting to know a Love Virgin? Fellas are any of you the last of your friends to still be a Love Virgin?

 

Interesting subject.
I have wondered about that myself.
I have met a few men who claimed that they have never been in love, yet I have never met any woman who would say the same.

Is it that those men couldn't open up to someone because they were scared to get hurt?
Didn't they spend enough time with someone yet to develop deeper feelings?

I'm curious about that.

 

men are very interesting creatures and dare I say that there is so much more to them that what we see in the men's locker room...it's one thing for a man to say I want to get naked with you or know what it feels like to be inside you... it's quite another when a man tells you he is serious about you and your relationship...I think that there are more love virgins out there and if you find one that has finally comes to terms with his feelings...grab him!

 

I have said this to many of my female friends, I think its men who are more emotional than women. Society in general has heavily suppressed male emotional expression but heavily indulged female emotional expression. Thats why I think the genders alot of the time are so out of sync with each other.

If a man is guarded emotionally it could that he is a heartless robot, or it could just be a genuine fear of all the negatives that come with a bad relationship.

Hopefully as time goes on men might be encouraged to be more emotionally expressive but only in ways they feel comfortable with.

 

Absolutely agreed. Personally, I have the utmost respect for a man who can let his guard down and express his emotions openly. It may sound weird, but being able to show that level of emotion really is a display of confidence in the man. That may sound backwards to some, but it's how I've always seen it.

 

Why do you want a man to emotional?

 

Imo, women are more emotional creatures, so knowing those emotions exist in a man, makes it easier to connect with him. Doesn't mean he has to go around with hankie in hand, but knowing that he is capable of expressing deep emotion makes him seem less of a machine and more human.

 

I hear you and it makes sense but I think too often women want men to be just like them not really respecting that we are very different socially and biologically. Its a conversation I've had to have many times. "Why can't you tell me how you feel" because in all my other relationships I show people how I feel, I do it by showing up and being there when they need me. I also don't think men should have to be something they aren't comfortable with in order to make you more comfortable. Just pay attention to the things we do, its usually far more revealing anyway.

 

I don't want a man to be anything he's not. However I do appreciate a man who can verbally express himself. I don't like an emotionally erratic cry baby...male or female...but I've known a few guys who grew up being taught that they're "not supposed to cry" simply because they're men.

Rethinking my agreement above, I don't necessarily think men are more emotional than women, but I do agree that society has always tried to minimize the emotional expressions of males. I think people (men and women) have every right to express themselves in the way they're comfortable with. This means not labeling a man as "weak" when he verbalizes his emotions.

 

:smt023 This

 

I totally agree unfortunately I don't think we are mature enough as people to recognize that yet. It cracks me up when a dude does express himself and the same woman who claims she wants an emotionally open guy says "What's wrong with you, you on your period"
Then the same women are the ones to wonder why so many men are emotionally withdrawn.

 

Where do you meet these "women" love?! Sounds like immature girls, not grown women.

Either way, I think it takes time to change how gender roles are viewed. I have noticed more and more men comfortable with their emotions, so I think we're headed in the right direction. I think fathers have the greatest impact here with their sons. Moms are (almost) always affectionate and welcoming of their child's emotions, but sons emulate their daddy's. If dad is affectionate and emotionally accepting, chances are the child will grow up the same way. All the more reason why I love a good daddy! They have such a profound effect on their sons (and daughters).

 

I fall under that title. And I have felt that touch of love. But, I became love's fool. It became a constant in my life. I had met and loved women, but it never got very far, or I missed my cue, or I did not have what she wanted or was looking for in a man. After I my efforts, it all turned out for nothing. One-sided. I ended up wanting to feel good about myself. Falling in love was easy for me. But, it was uncomfortable to the woman my attention was on. So, I backed off and walked away once I knew what was happening. I would be left with only two things from these happenings; the ecstacy and the agony. I am not a bad person. I am not dumb. I am not perfect. I am just a man. I am me.

 

Your concise definition is more than adequate for the purpose of this discussion.....
In my opinion, if you arrive at a certain age --still-- as a Love Virgin, you are at a disadvantage and will surpass the point of diminishing returns in the area of emotional growth and understanding of women.
You probably can never truly appreciate and reciprocate in love until you experienced some form of heart-ache.
Having listened to the discourse of several male acquaintances, all of whom claimed to be love virgins: they all seem to exhibit a detached coldness in referring to the numerical sexual conquests instead of sexual experiences……they also manifested a boastfulness in the ability to keep separate any emotion with regard to women.
This has in turn, resulted in an all out on-going game between the sexes to protect your heart at all cost......the net result and by-product today is the booty-call....And this arrangement incidentally, is just fine with many people..
In the end, it is all a part of maturing and morphing into the understanding that emotions and the opposite sex naturally go hand-in-hand…. and it is not something we should attempt to resist or alter........

 

Personally I think timing is very important when it comes to us men. Most of us are not really ready for a serious relationship until we hit our mid to late twenties. Then we still want to be sure we are investing our time in good woman, as well as the time we must still allocate toward career goals. In the meantime there is no sense in not enjoying the single life. It seems plausible that there may be quite a few love virgins out there in their mid thirties and later years.

less than 3. Do you feel that a love virgin could offer something special or a bit unique to his woman?

 

Damn, so you say that you are a love virgin not because you never actually been in love(whatever that means) but you are a love virgin because a woman has never loved you back?

I agree with you on the last bolded part, but I do believe a man can understand the truth in that without ever having been heart broken before.The preceding part is just a typical "locker room" type conversation, I think you know that. The softer aspects are usually shared with our female friends, you know, those that we don't have sex with. Disadvantaged though? I think we all have stronger and weaker points. Personally, trust is what I require from any woman that expects me to take her seriously. (In a general sense like you would a best friend) Its not even a requirement for her to love me but if I can trust her as well as enjoy and benefit from her presence in not so good times as well as the good times. I'm sure she could get what she wants from me. I would hope "In Love" means more so a deeper connection with that particular woman and developing an understanding of her and less of a general understanding of emotion that comes with the experience of heart break. However I don't discount the possibility that you could quite possibly be right.

 

There is some real truth to this.

 

one of my ex said ones it is not all the time I say how I feel about you it is in my actions .
and I thought about that .. I did appreciated when he just came home with flowers or went out with the garbage or just bought some thing for me on his way home .. that was his way of say how he felt about me.

we are different men and women even with in our gender we are different we need to accept and appreciate the difference between us.
men have their way of tell us how they feel and we have ours . We all have the emotions within us as we all know. the differences is how we do express them.
One person said ones to me men they are more for action and they reason logical , they think about and then go to action to solve the problem they do not need to talk about it before they solve issues or problems .

and we women , we need to think and talk about it over and over again until we think we have a solution .
I do not know if it is true though , but I do know we act and express ourself differently and my experience have shown me more times than one . that men do express them self with doing things by action than talk about it

 

So much truth here. I watch my son and his girl go over the same thing time and again: she thinks he doesn't love her because he's not constantly complimenting her verbally. But he shows her his love all the time - he's very attentive, affectionate, thinks of little ways to please or delight her, literally spends almost all his free time with her. But she's so focused on what she's not receiving that she can't see what she is. I've talked to them about it. They have different love languages. They need to start speaking the other's language, but also pay attention to their "native" language.

 

Good post, the bolded part is especially true. It would suck if women were just like men. I love it when women can experience with us some of the activities that guys enjoy, and still be their womanly selves.